The Ballad of Bread and Jam

Thu, 10/17/2013 - 12:57 -- Dave

This is the story of tragedy immemorial.
A tale of endless woe.
I hope you'll learn from the mistakes.
Made by two really quite bitter foes.

Bread and Jam were lovers!
But their parents deemed it not be.
The grizzled old Toast objected
And the rancid old Marmalade disagreed.

The feud was of countless years.
Something to do butter.
Or was it over the blender?
Perhaps the fight was a fight for sugar?

Anyways, the Bread and the Jam decided to run away.
Runoff to a faraway land
Leave the feud and their parents behind.
Ignoring all their parents commands

But the Marmalade soon found it out.
And came to the odd conclusion
that the Toast was stealing his daughter
decided then and there to do battle, completely unaware of his confusion

The Toast too found out
About his son's grandiose plan.
He came to the seemingly right answer/
That the other was stealing his child; he would have to battle for his clan.

The Bread and Jam met on the counter.
prepared to run away.
When all the sudden their fathers appeared
Each other ready to slay.

The marmalade wielding a rapier.
The Toast brandishing a broadsword
The Toast shouted,  "You've breathed your last breath!"
The Marmalade responded, "Prepare to be gored!"

The younglings beseeched their parents.
Not to engage in witless battle.
Put the elders would not listen.
to what they considered mindless prattle.

The Toast thrusted with his broadsword
The Marmalade quickly dodged.
Then Marmalade struck the bread with his weapon
In his chest it was thoroughly lodged.

The Bread stumble on the edge of the counter
The Jam reached out to grab him.
But due to a chance of fate.
That part of counter had butter on it, quite specifically the rim

Over the edge the two lovers slipped.
To a certain death below on the ground.
Then the fathers stopped fighting and thought.
Maybe their theories were not quite so sound...

Then out of nowhere (Again).
Honorable Pope Orange appeared
Chastising the fathers both.
For being so mind-bogglingly weird.

So, the moral of the story, my children, is.
Especially when one's life is in the balance, (literally)
One should never let fathers battle it out
The truth of this statement you saw quite explicitly.


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