To be set aside for a brief amount of time, if at all, has to be possibly one of the most insecurity provoking situations to ever be put in.

To be replaced during that time is the most soul crushing.

That's when you submit yourself to the tortuous patterns of  overthinking.

 

What did I do?

What didn't I do?

Why am I not enough?

What am I lacking?

How do I make you want me?

Do I even want you to want me?

 

Then you start to hate yourself because something you did caused you to be thrown aside.

Because YOU weren't enough.

Your friends tell you "They just don't see what's in front of them!

You deserve better!"

 

Well what if I don't want better?

What if I can't get better because I'm too fixed on figuring out what's wrong with me that I can't just have this?

 

I don't want better.

I want this.

I want something I fucking want to work the way I want.

For once.

After all, I deserve it.

-GG