If you'd seen me 

you would think I was happy

I am always smilling 

my steps have an extra bounce to them 

 giggling is repeated often

and where I am their is a corny joke is commin' soon

But if you really knew me, you'd see black

for every smile you see ; there is an angry yell waiting for it's time

the skip I skip

It's me

making the effort not to slow to a crawl and returned to the extremely black place I am running from

the laughter that bubbles out of me it takes the place of the sob that wants to boiling out of my lips accompanied with it bestfriend... tears

and the jokes 

it's only so there won't be silence 

silence equals thinking 

thinking equals the mind wondering back to black

But... SHHHH 

you can't tell ANYONE 

it will be just what they expect of me: 

an over emotional teenage girl

who is lazy and irresponsible 

 whose parent didn't love her enough to stay together 

and mother tells her to "GET OVER"things

and she tries

she burries it within her and they fade into darkness

she only thinks about it occasionally

by that I mean

anytime she is by herself when no one is near to distract her from her thoughts

her mind wonders back to black

and she cries... but she's "OVER IT"

lets not forget the father who tells her to "HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AND GET GOOD GRADES"!!

and she tries 

but it seems someone is alway disappointed 

or she is disappointed in herself 

so she she cries, again 

when no one is near to distract her from her thoughts

and her mind wonders back to black

but... she is "OVER IT"