I never wanted

It to go this way

Back before,

Years before,

I never could have dreamt

That I would try

Until I did

And you can’t go back from that

Not now, not ever again

It is as much a part of you as your brain, or your nails

And it seeps in

Corrupting

Controlling

Until you try again

And again

Until

Hopefully

It works

And you don’t need to try 

Again