When I was a kid I wanted to be Peter Pan

Harry Potter

Anakin Skywalker

I had a padawan braid

In the first grade

Wore my brother's gym shorts

And could throw a football farther than any boy

But I was a girl

So they kicked me off the field

Even though I could kick their butts

I remember the first time the words

“ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?”

Were hurled at me

A 6th grader stared down at my baggy clothes

And pony tail

And couldn’t understand.

But then again,

Neither did I.

I was a girl. Clearly.

But I wanted to be a boy.

I’m a girl I’m a girl I’m a girl.

But I hate the color pink.

I never wore dresses.

I’m a girl I’m a girl I’m a girl.

I was told repetition helps you remember.

It’s just a phase It’s just a phase It’s just a phase.

My parents put up with my phase

But at night they prayed

Prayed it would go away

Prayed their little girl would wear dresses

And pink

And play with barbies

Instead of drums

So I buried my feelings.

And they didn’t catch up to me

For ten long years.

I’m a girl. And a boy.