An Apology for my Ancestory.
I once was reading the web page of the CNN and I saw an article about how white politicians were denying refugees from South America leaving war-torn countries begging for safety a place here in America. Right after that I made a post on Tumblr that said “I hate white people.” Less than 5 minutes after somebody had reblogged it and said “wow that was racist.” I was confused for obvious reasons, *gestures at my white skin* if you didn't know I'm very white. How can I be racist toward myself?
But I can't help but look at these white politicians and wonder if they ever read a textbook. If they ever read about how we came here on a boat looking for Refuge. How we were saved by the native people we ended up suffocating.I wondered if they knew that 400 years ago a group of Europeans came to America looking for Religious Freedom. They came here out of desperation clawing at this land that they had never been before. Hundreds died but they found savior's in the native people of the land. They built homes and Farms and churches and schools on this land that they had never been before.
They were the first immigrants, finding Refuge in North America.
In today's world people are still trying to find Refuge here. But now people who are the descendants of immigrants to this country claimed they are natives.
After suffocating the natives that help them survive they destroyed the land that once was holy.
Carving their leaders faces into holy mountains of the natives still live here. We brought people from another continent here using and abusing them. Of their language of their culture they were stripped. Families torn apart and a broken. Eventually after centuries slavery we freed them.
But we could never give them back their culture or their Origins because we stripped them of that in an attempt to make them forget that they were ever human at all.
Even after that we segregated them because we believed they were less than us. We claim that it was separate but equal but we all knew that it was separate but not equal. We separated them in hopes of keeping them less-educated than us. In hopes of giving them less opportunities than their white counterparts. We invited them to the table of democracy but then served Jim Crow as their first dish. Made literacy a test of their humanity. We invited them dinner but then made them sit at the colored only table.We fed them our scraps and black mothers with healing in their hands made it into dinner. After Decades of fighting they finally got their deserved equal rights. An equal education, equality at the lunch counter, everything.
But even now their skin tone is used against them. We claim that racism is no longer an issue because there are no more Shackles on their ankles. Is it not a shackles to not know where you came from? To not have an origin to look back upon? My family can trace back our roots to a city. My colored schoolmates don't even have a portion of a continent to look to.
We talked about toxic immigration we talk about how horrible the Holocaust is. And it is horrible. But we speak nothing about the Japanese internment camps that happened right here in America. Talk about patriotic.
They are trying to wipe away the horror of our history.
Talking about how the Trail of Tears will simply “the Native Americans deciding to move to a different place because they're white friends wanted to move in.” They don't discuss it like we dragged thousands of women, Children and Families from their homes and dragged them across the continent. Leaving thousands of their bodies along the road, not giving them a chance to bury their dead,Not giving them a chance to pack their bags not giving them a chance to say goodbye to their Holy Land.
We talked nothing of the lack of melanin in my skin.
I can say nothing to my ancestors and how could you. You came here on a boat wishing and praying and hoping for a chance to find Refuge. But then you steal the land from your saviors, you kill them, you steal people from their cultures and make them into slaves, you deny refugees a place when all they want is safety just like we did hundreds of years ago.
I don't know how to apologize for this.
I don't know how to apologize for the thousands of millions of lives lost because of my ancestors.
I don't know how to apologize for stealing people from their culture and treating them like less than. I don't know how to apologize for the racists who stand in positions of power in this country.
I don't know how to apologize for the lack of news coverage on missing Women of color.
I don't know how to apologize for all the black boys who have and will end up face down in the streets with bullet wounds whispering self defense.
I don't know how to apologize because I don't feel like an apology is enough.
All I can do is try to make sure that nothing like that ever happens again.
I am so sorry for everything my ancestors did, they came here looking for freedom.
Then they deny others that same freedom.
I have nothing to say besides “I’m sorry”.