apart i’m quite

a different thing.

 

without the weight

of your arms

to center my toss-turn tendencies,

i place four fingers

to stake out my breast bone

counting hard edges

to press,test

something solid.

 

i roll over

to let my head slosh around

with all the memories so soft

and unformed within that tissue

where they live

with the pliable possibility

of shift.

 

but am i right in thinking

too much cushion

is too much pressure?

since that can lead

to any number of fractures

 

i’ve only watched other people

packing up boxes and

stuffing in feelings-

rigid or loose,

no example to go by

 

maybe that’s better.

 

well,

if maybe is better,

maybe i’ll let my fingers fall

to your side

(the cool space on the bed)

my brain gummy

in a weird-hopeful way.