Who am I?

A question that I wish I had a simple answer to.

One that has haunted me from the time I was little.

It has caused an endless internal debate that cries from deep within;

So deep it rattles throughout my skeleton.

Could I be the cup of green tea I crave occasionally?

Or the books that I can never put down?

Maybe I am the anxiety that causes my heart to race or creates a knot in my stomach?

Or the depression that comes and goes like a dark storm cloud?

I know I am not the grades on my reports;

Or the number on the scale.

But I could be the way I feel others' pain so deeply;

And how I could never turn a lost soul away.

Is it possible for me to be the girl who is indecisive,

But also so driven for success?

Or a Christian who can’t always find her way back to the cross?

I know I am blonde,

Pale,

Green eyed,

And fifteen,

I am an honor student,

And a sophomore in high school,

But I want to be more;

So maybe I know who I am,

But the answer could never be simple.