I’m fragile, I’m natural, like apples 

I’m hassled, I wrestle, I wrassle

I’m stressful, I’m bashful, I’m special, an asshole

I’m technical and tactical, 

a spectacle to behold through your glasses frames 

 

but there’s a chasm that you cannot cross

it echoes every name

every good and every bad joke that gets tossed

like a hacky sack in a haphazard way

and then it drops

 

like the apple on Newton

where I built a castle from atoms built from protons and neutrons 

true to call it magically mundane

a classical order on a modernist plane  

 

you’ll find me in this place, if you care enough to look

and dare yourself to put up with the air and the 

bare knuckle sucker punches to the gut 

 

you’ll find me in this place, quiet 

in a hush

the silence is an island 

tranquil, like a hug

and I sit beneath the canopy of sycamores and oaks 

rekindling dreams and fantasies in little wisps of hope

that dwindle and then dissipate in flitting waves of smoke 

 

see, in my search for serendipity, beauty bears the misery

and it's a fool's errand to grit your teeth 

eventually they break, shattered pieces scatter 

back to basics, 

but imagine, if you may, a black and gray mosaic 

patterned in a way to trace the savagery displayed,  

the apathy in faith and the fallacy of change 

 

now relax and just keep swaying

 

to the music and the mayhem, the harmony and dissonance

I embody cockiness as much as I lack confidence 

with pale skin and brown eyes

desire-driven in a tailspin, down I dive

lost in the midst of my potential

my long-haired, heavy metal side 

wants passion

my crassness craves comfort

my craftiness never dies

and craziness never lies 

never lies idle, that is,

and lazy days make me tired

so I stay away from laying on the tile 

and I’ll stay energized,

 

you can see it in my soul