Tapping, Tapping

my foot like an engine

tap, tap, tapping at the floor

like a woodpecker

 

Running, Running

my mind is running

and I'm on a treadmill

trying to catch up,

but it's going too fast

 

and I'm falling, falling

falling like a baby bird trying to fly

but nobody will be there to catch me

before I hit the floor.

 

Listen, Listen

trying to listen to the words

spewing from your mouth,

but your face is blurred

and I can't read lips.

 

Forget, Forget

trying not to forget

how you smiled at me

when the sun was warm

and the ground was dry

 

Forgetting, Forgetting

Forgetting how you smiled and laughed

at the dumb things I did

and now I'm forgetting

the color of your eyes

and the way you lit up

when you saw me in the crowd.

 

Pulling, Pulling

trying to pull you away

from death because

I'm not ready for you to leave.

 

Nothing.

I can't feel the tap's of my foot

or the burst of excitement

or the tiredness in my eyes anymore.

 

Nothing still.

That must mean the medications working

because my light is gone

and my foot is still.

 

Fading.

Putting pn a act to mask

the lack of emotion in my eyes,

because I don't wan't anyone to worry.

 

Fading Still.

Sitting in the dark of my room,

but I still feel nothing

and nothing matters to me anymore.

 

Gone.

 

I'm falling asleep now,

and I don't ever wan't to wake up.

 

Repeat.

Everything repeats, the same as before,

my heads about to burst

because still I need more,

Is this really all there is in this life?

If so, very soon I am going to say goodbye.