Ace In The Hole


Since crawling out of my closet
Built out of confusion and puberty
I realize that there was more than a door
There was also a hole.

The closet was my chrysalis
And opening the door was my metamorphisis.
I'm happy to be asexual
And damned proud of it too.

But try explaining you still like girls
But you don't want their sex
Or saying you still have erections
They just don't matter as much

You'll soon fall into the hole
Built of fear and regret
People can still see you
But they can't see into you.

No matter what I say or do
There will always be doubters
Whether it's my coworkers
Or even my own dad

I know I have to be brave
And try to crawl out of the hole
But sometimes there comes a point where you fall back down.
And the hole grows just a little bit deeper.

If I was gay, people would get it.
If I was trans, people would understand.
I could be a Scientologist, and still some people would accept it.
But I'm not. And I can't. And I won't.

I wear my colors with pride.
But others see my flag and want to burn it.
"You're just confused", they yell.
"You're just can't get any".

I've been told it's a phase
A lie, a scam, or a trend.
They see me as some sexless freak
And only half of that is true.

I'm all alone in my hole
Because no one can understand Aces.
Maybe because they are all Jacks
But their actions paint them as Jokers.

But I know I can get out
It's not like I'm unique. 
I can't get sympathy from others
But from other Aces I gain acceptance.

So I keep trying to climb 
Even if the fall hurts more and more
Because though I might be an Ace In The Hole
I know what else it can mean.



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