When you fantasize of that caress and places its never been

shiver at thoughts of hearing warm words you've never heard

ectasy you've never experienced

only to come down and realize you're your own surprise,

Then you know that imagined kisses won't solve this

won't extinguish the fury in depths deeper than any appendage can go

cannot erase the darkness of memories you conceal behind soft replies to those who think they

know 

              the extent of your kindess and joy

    the immensity of your emotional chaos

When fantasies are not enough...

When pencils break when your energy attempts to be expressed, 

your emotions numb and tears resist to fall at mere confusion

do you accept yourself?