I never said I wouldn't
what could a quick glance hurt
But now I wish I had said
anything
the right thing.
Reminders of you don’t hurt
like they used to
like I thought they would.
That's a good sign
I think.
Maybe it's the pool of desensitization
I’m doing some eternal
doggie paddle in- just trying to keep my head
up
Gasping for air like the human I am, so focused
on keeping my lungs happy
working
content
that I don’t notice the hypothermia setting in.
I barely notice that I can't feel my fingers
and haven't felt my toes since
I left them at your house
realized too late
and was too scared to ask for them back
after everything.
I'm much too busy not drowning
to notice my body deadening, every
moment the emotional coastguard spends dunking doughnuts in hot steaming coffee, exclaiming about celebrity scandals, and internally groaning as That One Guy pulls out the 1,344th picture of his baby, who is officially 4382 hours old, and letting their minds drift to what they plan to do this weekend
to even think of
thinking Anything about you.
At least that's what I tell myself to keep my head
above water.