every night at 7:30

i tiptoed into my bedroom

and turned the lock

double checking to make sure i was safe

they asked what i was wearing

 

every night at 7:30

i turned off the lights

even though my bedtime wasnt until later

i made no sound

they asked if i was intoxicated

 

every night at 7:30 

i hid from him

because i knew that if i let him in 

he would have control over me

they asked if i led him on

 

every night at 7:30

i sense the nightmare that is 

he who runs his filthy fingers down my chest

and up my legs

i sense the horror that is

him asking me to do him favors

that didnt provide me with comfort

i sense the tragedy that is

my innocence being taken away

by someone 40 years senior

 

i was 11 years old. 

 

every night at 7:30

i cried myself to sleep

convincing myself that no one could understand

i tried to tell someone i thought i could trust

they told me it was my fault