She wakes up

Feels the rush

All in one motion

Takes in the sickness

Because it peels skin

Until she bleeds

It clouds over her mind

Until it is black and toxic

She is not only her own pain

She if favorite song and favorite colors and favorite smells

But she drowns

Her hand reaching

Searching for the surface

Above these cold dark waters

But the bubbles only rise to the top

Because no hands grasp

A sinking soul

She carries the scent of blood and sadness with her

You can smell it on her skin

Even the skies cry for her,

She just can’t tell

Angles fall to the ground, weeping

Wet tears crash hard on the pavement

But she embraces the cold

Feels it dive into her skin

Because she already knows

She will never walk with God

Never be good enough for the perfection of heaven’s walls

Its gold paved roads

She dwells with the demons now

You can see them in her eyes

She stands naked

Blood and dirt stain her body

And the world shakes in disappointment

She doesn’t know what she’s waiting on

But every morning the sun rises

Whether she wants the light or not

And she can close the blinds

Lock the door

Lock herself in with her head

Her terrible thoughts

Because all we really are

Are victims of our own mind

Now the doctor’s sick

And she walks dizzy

Because she is a suffering prisoner

A cruel jailer

All the same

Nobody is allowed inside

The four walls of her life

Trapped in her own dreaded skin

With no key to get out