Mirror
Mirror,
Do you lie to me?
Do you tell me I am too
ugly?
fat?
skinny?
Mirror,
tell me.
What you see
tell me who I am
That stretch mark over there?
I never used to have that
My legs are too thin
then they are too wide
My belly is concave and hollow
then overflowing and tight
"You are gorgeous and perfect just the way you are"
But the way I am is judging myself for not eating
or eating too much.
I am an apology is its prime.
Always giving "sorry" and "it's my fault"
Judgment.
Seeping through every crack
every pore
every cell.
No.
I refuse to live like this.
this?
This is unsustainable
This will tear me down brick by brick,
mirror by mirror.
I am ready to try
To try to breathe
and not judge
I am ready to try.
I will cry and I will wail and
I will pinch
and poke
and prod
But I will try.
There is freedom in trying
In having the mirror say something different
A new narrative.
It's time, Mirror.
It's time.