Betrayal is such an ugly word, but it is apt to describe your ugly behavior.

 

We spent months getting to know each other.

We had the means to heal one another, and to make one another happy forever.

Our friendship grew like wildfire, and we wanted it to burn brighter, so we made changes to our lives to fuel it.

We were each undeniably in love for the first time, for the last time.

I know your story has changed today,

but I remember what it was.

You must tell yourself what you must to be able to live with yourself.

We were the perfect fairytale romance.

 

Broken vows,

The first betrayal was when you walked away from our betrothal.

We made love every day, in every way -

Spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

I would have died holding onto you forever if I had known we would never have a conversation again.

 

Leading me on,

The second betrayal was when you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.

You asked me to be patient, and trust you to find your way home.

Weeks went by, only you didn’t even try, you used me and my patience to run further away.

 

Patronizing.  Mollifying.

A month went by and I reached out to you.

You still wouldn’t see me.  You still wouldn’t talk.

You replied to my letters just barely enough to mollify me.

You must have hoped I would just go away, or perhaps that I was just a dream.

I must have reminded you of a truth that was too painful for you to face.

 

Manipulation,

For I have now caught you backpedaling lies.

To myself, yourself, your new "love", and our mutual confidant.

How many more faces do you have?

I see now that you are an innately dishonest person.

Your house of cards built on deception is no longer invisible to me.

 

Promises.

You still wear our opal promise ring.

It still means something to me, though I know it carries no meaning for you anymore.

Have you given up on joy?

 

I can’t believe any of it, but it all seems to be true.

I still love you, though I also disdain you

For treating me as though I meant everything to you one day,

And less than human the next.

 

You are a lost soul, living a lost life, and a part of my soul goes with you.

I will not pardon you for your sins, though I will forgive you to free my own heart.

You will still have to bear the consequences of your heinous behavior.

 

You will reap what you have sown.

I trust karma to give you what you deserve.

I pray that you fix your heart and soul before then,

So what you deserve then is kinder than what you deserve now.

 

I have changed, but I am not destroyed.

I find it harder to trust, but I am determined to do so again.

My soul will heal this wound, and I will find another to love.

Because I have always wanted to

And I want to

And I will always want to

Because it is in loving, not in being loved, the heart is blessed.