I Read A Book About Zazoo
I read a book about a girl named Zazoo
But maybe that girl was me.
She made poems as she rowed a boat in a canal
And watched for her sad gray cat
And thought about the war and how terrible the world is
"Take the bitter with the sweet."
She swam better than anyone
And skated when she could not swim
But most of all, she loved her grandfather
Even when he faded before her eyes.
I see my grandfather there
As real as the sad gray cat
And the row boat among the lily pads and the heron standing on one leg in the reeds
And the song of the wind as it sways the tops of the pines.
I skate though I do not swim
And I read poems about the world and how terrible it is
"Take the bitter with the sweet."
Mostly, life is good
And I drown in memories
Too complicated to explain, so fragile they might slip away
I miss my grandfather
So close and so easy to reach, but so many physical miles
Time and money get in the way
And school and our simple, naive minds.
But perhaps it is only nostalgia,
I long for when I was younger
Before he grew quiet and forgot easy things
When the tractor still worked instead of dribbling oil onto the newspaper on the floor
When the text of the story books was still large enough to see
When I was still small enough to listen.
Perhaps it is I who has changed
Or perhaps I am still here, a child inside my larger shell
Or perhaps the world just kept spinning
Without bothering to pause.
And I did not realize all this time
Until I read a book about a girl who was a reflection of me.