Overwhelmed another word for a mental breakdown from the lack of oxygen that is in this room

Panic attack my lungs cannot take in what you haven’t given

Oxygen with unlimitless amounts of it, I still take in none

It feels as if it was sucker punched out of me to a point where I can no longer breathe this earthly air

 

Overreacting

you are overreacting, my mother says I do it often

I know better to embarrass her like this in front of her friends

Prim and proper, smile.

Smile even if you every muscle in your body wants to tear it down

Smile because mother friends says you should do it more often

 

Careful

Be careful on what you say because every word you use is a blade

that will break you after this event.

You will hear the whisper of your mother’s friends appalled by what your mother calls

“Insults”

 

You Insulted her

You told her to stop

That you couldn’t breathe

That the oxygen in this room is still not reaching you lungs

You tell her this isn’t fun FOR ME

That you couldn’t smile anymore,  that the streaks in your cheeks were too heavy to hold

And your ears couldn’t burden their judgement, it was finally taking its toll.

Why couldn’t you be enough,

 

Did I look like a fool?

Was the discoloration on my skin that noticeable that you needed to reveal it to everyone

Was my face so covered in acne you made your friends laugh at me.

You knew ugly didn’t run in the genes, so what happened to me, you tease

It’s joke, you repeat.

 

Are you ashamed?

You scream, scream for me to understand, “Why are you so much like your dad”

Your words profound, “Your so stubborn”

“Can't you see I’m trying to help YOU.

You always look so lost, ditsy.

Maybe it’s because you read,

Life isn’t a fantasy your dreams are bleak,

You are a freak,

you need a nursing degree so you will be able to succeed, a PhD ,

Can’t you see your family is scared for you

you need to worry about yourself,
Your sheets aren’t clean, don’t you see mine they glisten and shine,   

while yours lose it design,

Your hair needs more pins, your hair doesn’t look right

Did you wear makeup? The bags under your eyes look so much more defined

Your clothes why are they always black, I buy you to many clothes for you not to wear

Why can you not compare to your cousins,

Look at her clothes, her teeth, her glimmering hair, she’s getting a degree in Nursing,

you need to be better,

Look better, wear less lether, have dreams that you can reach, you need to care

Be more like me.  

Your words never fade, they burn, you say them so firm.

You want it to hurt, to create a bruise, to see me shatter and lick my wounds,

 

Tired,

I am so tired of fighting

Our house creaks when there's feet on the other side of the house

I’m to tired to hear what you’ll say about me today

We live in a facade, a lie for the neighbors eyes,

But they know, they know this house isn’t a home,

they have seen the way our grass grows

They have watched the cars come and go,

They know, just like us, you and me, that this house is no longer a home