To my playground abusers

I want to thank you

Your endless bullying

Your pushing, your pulling

Your kicking, your punching

Your tickling me until the world went black because of lack of oxygen

Your telling me my ideas were dumb

Your telling me we could never be friends

Your laughter, still ringing in my ears

Your antics, your tricks

Though hard

Impossibly so

And traumatic

To the point I suppressed them

I want to thank you

You made me who I am today

You made me shy

You made me paranoid

You made me jumpy

But

You made me strong

You made me cautious

You made me empathetic

You made my smiles mean more

You made my laughter louder

You made my spirit larger

To the boy I thought loved me

I want to thank you

You used me

You abused me

You said you loved me

You lied

You hurt me

You owned me

I want to thank you

You made me hate myself

You made me uncomfortable in my own skin

You made me realize the darker underbelly of society

But

You made me love deeper

You made me cautious

You made me learn to look twice

You made me learn to be kind

So I want to thank you

Even though you hurt me

Even though you were the cruelest

Even though you gave nothing but the meanest parts of yourselves

Even though you were the rudest

Even though you hated me

Even though I wish I could feel nothing but hate for you

I do not

I feel so much more than that

I feel gratitude

So while you may not be typical heroes

You’ve made me who I am

You’ve made me better

Stronger

Faster

Kinder

Lovelier

Braver

So even though you tore me down

Even though you ruined me

Broke me

Damaged me

I want to thank you

For being heroes

After all, isn’t a hero someone who influences someone for good?

So while your acts might have been horrible

And you may be horrible people

Thank you

For turning me into who I am

Scared

Crying

Hurting

But

A survivor

Warrior

Fighter

Some even may say

Hero