I’m slowly losing the pieces of you that littered my memories. You’re beginning to fade from me. I can’t remember what your voice sounded like, or your laugh. I’ve forgotten the sound of your heavy steps and the way they echoed against the walls of our home. It’s like I’m trying to remember when I said my first word. I don’t even know where to start.

Are you out there? Just floating in the space of your existence, slowing being pulled by an unknown force fading into the darkness. Alone.

I never put much thought into how true the saying “ you come into this world alone and you go out of it alone” was until you left.  Is there anything after this? Do we actually get to see each other again? 

I’ve always struggled with religion because I have trouble putting my faith in things I can’t see. And I know it’s a sin to question god but how am I not supposed to. How can I blindly put all my faith and beliefs into one thing with no evidence that it’s true. Nothing to count for.  As a child I always thought of it as a happy story people tell each other so they don’t have to face the harsh reality that there is nothing waiting for us. Maybe we don’t get to see our loved ones again. Maybe all of this is for nothing and that’s such a hard thing to come to terms with they made up this idea of a god. 

either way the fact that your slowing being erased from my memories without my consent is so morbid and cruel that it makes me question everything. And how can I still grieve someone that I can’t remember.