To know what my future holds,

You must understand my past.

It's too much to swallow or

To sip from a glass.

It weighs a ton,

Therefore it makes you exhausted after I'm done.

It's too much for you to bear.

Too much pain for me to spare.

I wouldn’t dare to scratch the surface of my past.

It's a perpetual memory that will always last.

The gaps that my past holds in its hands

Sinks you like a mound of quick-sand.

Can you imagine being deprived of your innocence,

While your mother is sitting there and enjoying the violence?

I know it sounds ridiculous.

But that's just reality.

It was a tragic moment that changed my personality.

They say everyone will go through ups and downs in life.

I can only speak about the "downs".

I don’t have any recollections of the "ups" in my life.

I only have the memories of me being jabbed with a knife.

Slicing and slashing through my bare skin.

Beating on me as if I wasn’t some kin.

My engine yearns for genuine oil.

Oil, that wouldn’t  leave me in turmoil.

No one can help me with this burden.

Every time I speak about it, I start hurting.

I guess I have to settle with the past,

Engage in the present and

Believe in the future because

No one knows what my future holds,

Until my past is unfold.