The Billy Goats Greedy
Me? I am but a humble troll.
A homeless troll, life has taken its toll
So now I have only a bridge to stroll
And on each side, lie beautiful knolls
Yet the goats, those rich, fat, pompous goats
Will not let me leave the murky moat
That lies underneath the narrow bridge
And every day, they pass and gloat
And so, I sit and moan and starve
Dreaming of a fat turkey to carve,
Or even, the thought comes to me now,
A goat
But before it happens to get that far,
Before I make a goat snack bar,
I will try a peaceful way
I will talk to the passing goats today.
On the bridge, I am now sitting
And I must admit, I am getting
Quite annoyed, so now I ponder
Why is it that they call me the monster?
Each goat that passes barely looks
Barely talks, just walks across the brook
Here come three more now,
Maybe I need a goat cookbook
The first one walked up, and I clearly could see,
A gold ring on each finger, and I began to plea
Spare change? I inquired, or maybe some bread?
In response, however, he only turned up his head
Do you think, he snarled,
I am made of money?
Perhaps that the economy is flowing with honey?
I implore you to bother the one behind me, sonny
With that, he promptly hopped away,
And not long after, another came from the same way
He was very slow, for on his back he was sporting
A gold jacket, long and heavy and flowing
He shuffled over and saw me and sneered
I began to speak, and interrupting, he jeered
Do not bother me. Don’t even speak!
I am nauseated by just the sight of your teeth
My assets are frozen, my liabilities gone!
My butlers have flown, they left at dawn!
I have nothing to give, ‘cept these wise words
The one behind me can give you anything, anything you deserve
With that, he left, with a flourish from his cape
His glowing, gold, beautiful coat beginning to drape
It was becoming late, and the sun began to lower
This goat would be the last, then I would devour
From the east, in front of pastel reds, a long-bearded goat poked up his head
He shimmered and shone, and I saw with surprise
That every inch of him was covered with jewels
That blinded my widening eyes
And lo and behold, what was this?
He was standing on another goat who walked, and hissed
For the billy on top was extremely fat
And refused to move, only stood on his back
With a huff in his voice and a frown on his face,
he looked at me in all my disgrace
Who are you, he demanded,
To block my path?
To keep me from more tasteful grass?
I began to get angry, I began to get cross
I began to doubt anyone would mourn the loss
And I reached forward when the goat paused
I plucked him off and he shrieked in fear
Each jewel fell down closer near
To the poor, cowering goat on the ground
And into my gullet the rich goat went down
The one remaining pleaded with me
Oh, please sir, how have I harmed ye?
I turned and gave him a smile
Nothing yet, and lucky for you, I’m not vile
Then we split the jewels, and we parted ways
And I still know him to this day
He is never greedy, and seldom vain
And I am proud to say that I’m the same
From that day forward all the goats knew
That what you give, always comes back to you