Memories By:Arvaughn Williams
I use to dream and sing about the man that I once knew,
or how my favorite color was something he never knew.
Like how found warmth in the solstice, or how I set back and read text messages where he did me the coldest.
I use to dream about the man who put me on his shoulders
while we dip off in the mountains and catch fish on the boulders.
I never thought my words would relieve you.
I never thought that you love me, but in a stupid sense I almost believed you.
I never thought that losing you would bring me and her closer,
and you wouldn’t live to see my face immortal-ed on the poster.
I couldn’t believe you hurt me the worst way, or for the simple fact when I unlock my phone I remember your birthday.
Or how about the 10th of August-yep minus the pauses when I blew out my candles and my wish was that you would call us.
you never lived to see when the peace came,
as I reframe, I guess my name on your arm was an unbearable ink stain-huh?
It’s
funny how I major english, but you’re left with the sentence.
You were subject to the prejudice, a predicate instance.
Like you’re here and you’ll be gone in an instant be consistent;
I write because I loved you the most, now it’s resentment.
Wouldn’t believe the time that you had showed up in my class and told me to get the lotion so that I reduce the ash.
Slapped me the five and i’m like five more minutes, I know i’m in the middle of class but let me finish this sentence.
When I saw you I had hopped out my seat and I ran to you.
Couldn’t believe my eyes would deceive and expand to you.
You owned my heart and you was the man, i’m brand to you, and I speak now knowing that i’ll be a man to you.
My only wish is that I latch you, you hold me across your tattoos, and when I go to kiss you- your beard kisses me back too.
I hate the fact that i’m 16 without you.
I hate the fact that when I got ready for prom that it was nothing without you.
I hate the fact there’s no unity like when I entered puberty; I was going through some things and neglect from you was new to me.
I hate the fact you didn’t teach me to shave.
I hate the fact I had to find out on my own what’s the meaning of brave.
I hate the fact here that this love wasn’t saved.
And normally I don’t write to you,because missing you is what makes me afraid.
Being alone I autodidact the way of the trade.
You provide light that cast down rays, still no shade.
I hope that at the end of this you feel no shame; i’m commending you for neglect it may seem so strange.
But I doubt you.
I had to figure it out too.
In the next life i’ll be twice as bold ready for round two.