Autobiography

 

My Grandmother was a crack fiend back when she would have my daddy run the crack like the track team, I’d soak in the tub until my back clean; back when fresh had taught me chess I thought you would be my black queen.

I hate the way he use to look at you, like when he slapped you in your face, and he tried to throw the book at you.

Terrified the way that shook had you, and when you covered up your face man I hate the way that look had you.

I know those moments were embarrassing and when I think of family time these are the memories i’m cherishing.

What other times can I cherish in, like when they had you on the Mac on your back, no embellishments.

Out of the beatings came intelligence and when we had to run away I thought that moving would have settle it, but then y’all let the rumor settle in and y’all gave it another shot, but it was deadlier than Heroin.

 

Black eyes until I learned my lesson.

I had to keep it all in and let it burn, Confession,like when you peeled my skin back I had to learn to repression  and when the lumps swelled up I had to learn

 to press in.

 

At certain times I use to hate you!

I thought the love was infinite, how could I mistake you?

I guess loving me was mistake too, like the swollen cheeks I had to hold the steak to.

 

Like when the memories occur I dead it, i’m looking at the phone and I can’t believe that you said it.

You were a dog and I just thought that it was time we Vet it, like being left unconscious in the back of the medic.

Being locked down is what got you the credit.

 

I was thinking about Nichole and Tiffany,

now all that shit a myth to me.

You threw the shade and you sent for me, and when  the barrels kissed you with the bullets that shit was just meant to be.

Loving you is like a symphony, rub strings like violins, but they never me crying then.

They’re talking loud  to a siren, and I bellow  like black in yellow, no reaction when i’m acting mellow. I use to consider a happy fellow, back when they bullied me in school they turned my inside back to jello.

You said i’m lacking but i’m clapping, Hello?

No punt intended, but the way it hit you,

man I can’t believe I miss you.

 

You found hatee when there was someone to love.

Like when you use to beat me senseless, I push and you shove.

Like when you left me home alone at six, and went to the club and I would soak my sorrows out while I sat in the suds.

At age of twelve I took the blade to my body,

Who knew that the blood splatter would have spelled out Mavattii?

Now i’m snapping off in the game like I came here to body, thought that I was your only son, but I see you forgot me, but it’s cool man it’s all loddie doddie I know that Jesus will do you worst than the people that robbed me.

If diamonds are made under pressure, can’t  you see that i’m shining?

So tell those inferior, they can’t get it. I got it.