God forbid I ever have a smile, even for a second

 

It's like they see me as a color instead of IN color, as if it's so black-and-white to believe that an

 

"ugly" girl can feel pretty and even if she does she's gotta be "faking it" beause that's what

 

everybody wants to think to make her think she's worthless,

 

Let me tell you that ridicule does not make you cool and let me go as far to say that you look

 

good even though ten minutes ago you made me feel like the whirlwind wreckage you told

 

me I looked like I can smile without some fancy Instagram setting and ACTUALLY FEEL IT,

 

while in reality you absent-mindedly blink and blink and blink in front of everything that isn't

 

your clique and don't you dare try to tell me you don't have one I've seen you,

 

in the hallways packed like the slimey miserable sardines that you are just

 

waiting like flocks of pigeons JUST WAITING, to rain a hate parade of thick

 

white unecessary disrespect on the next work of art you can find and

 

when I ask why all you can say is "It was funny"

 

Funny.

 

It's funny how when you're the one that's hurting everyone else must immediately

 

stop at your red light like hasty cars sharing highways with anxious police offiers.

 

and yet, when's it's anyone else you disregard completely,

 

something that infantile children can comprehend so don't

 

tell me it's "the way you are" that's an excuse, and just like in a child's world they

 

won't be accepted here.

 

Here where I stand comfortably here where I am the pigeon and you are a

 

stone statue but I won't be so cruel as to desecrate your spirit

 

because even though your heart is made of stone and you can't

 

run away from all the things you deserve,

 

I understood what it meant

 

when my mother  said,

 

that if I didn't have anything nice to say,

 

I shouldn't say anything at all.