I Need To Find Myself

Location

Home
Oneida Ave.
United States
41° 47' 14.5392" N, 95° 47' 3.552" W

I am tired of living.

I wished I lived in one of those fantasy lands where everything is great.

But who doesn’t.

Who am I kidding myself.

It’s not like it would make me feel any better.

I am emotionally exhausted.

I don’t why.

I am not happy.

I am not happy with my life or with the person I am.

For everything I do I feel so judged.

I don’t see the point in interacting with the people that say that they love me.

If they do love me then why are they judging me for everything I do or say?

If they really loved me they would leave me as I am and wouldn’t ask me to change.

It’s not like I wanted to be like this.

I’ve just gone through a lot with myself that I became this way.

I know that I can’t blame others.

But I grew up a household where everything is judged.

I HATE myself.

I wish that I could change the way that I am.

To be happy every second of every day.

Who am I kidding?

Everything that I do is perceived as wrong and I’m tired of it.

I can’t even be myself because I am judged all the time.

I wonder if anyone really truly cares about me.

I am who I am and I accept who I am.

The only problem is that other people don’t.

What for?

I hate myself why shouldn’t others?

Fuck everyone that wants to change the person that I have become.

I know I am not perfect.

I will never be.  

But you know what, I accept it!

I know who I am and what my goals are and that’s all that matters.

I accept myself so why can’t others?

I don’t see the problem.

All I want for my future is not for people to like me because I could really care less.

It is for me to get the love that I once had for myself back.

Maybe I haven’t lost it.

Maybe it’s just that I feel so lost.

With so many emotions that I feel like it is lost.

I need to find myself.

I have found parts.

But not my whole self.

I am the knowledge that I hope to gain. 

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741