I Need To Find Myself
Location
I am tired of living.
I wished I lived in one of those fantasy lands where everything is great.
But who doesn’t.
Who am I kidding myself.
It’s not like it would make me feel any better.
I am emotionally exhausted.
I don’t why.
I am not happy.
I am not happy with my life or with the person I am.
For everything I do I feel so judged.
I don’t see the point in interacting with the people that say that they love me.
If they do love me then why are they judging me for everything I do or say?
If they really loved me they would leave me as I am and wouldn’t ask me to change.
It’s not like I wanted to be like this.
I’ve just gone through a lot with myself that I became this way.
I know that I can’t blame others.
But I grew up a household where everything is judged.
I HATE myself.
I wish that I could change the way that I am.
To be happy every second of every day.
Who am I kidding?
Everything that I do is perceived as wrong and I’m tired of it.
I can’t even be myself because I am judged all the time.
I wonder if anyone really truly cares about me.
I am who I am and I accept who I am.
The only problem is that other people don’t.
What for?
I hate myself why shouldn’t others?
Fuck everyone that wants to change the person that I have become.
I know I am not perfect.
I will never be.
But you know what, I accept it!
I know who I am and what my goals are and that’s all that matters.
I accept myself so why can’t others?
I don’t see the problem.
All I want for my future is not for people to like me because I could really care less.
It is for me to get the love that I once had for myself back.
Maybe I haven’t lost it.
Maybe it’s just that I feel so lost.
With so many emotions that I feel like it is lost.
I need to find myself.
I have found parts.
But not my whole self.
I am the knowledge that I hope to gain.