Indiana
I remember being 13 one time.
I played Bright Eyes all afternoon,
and actually cried.
A beautiful girl told me that she
thought of me more like a brother,
that was the biggest problem,
I had.
It must have been nice,
feeling and all.
Now I can't breath, and
i'm not sure if I mind.
I want to feel the burn of
fresh winter air as it quickly
pases through my lungs again.
I want to believe in God.
I want this not to be all.
I want this to mean something,
I'm afraid I won't do anything better
than the things I have done.
I'm afraid I peaked at 13.
Hit middle age at 18.
I'm a fucking old man.
I'm afraid you were the best I can do.
I'm afraid I pin all of my problems on
things I can't control.
I wish my friends were my friends.
I wish I could go home and my sister wasn't a fuck up.
I wish my mother would figure herself out.
I with my dad had a job.
I wish for a load of things.
I'm going to get another 9 to 5
Settle for a girl in a blue collar town,
I swore I'd never live in.
I'll sit in my garage and drink
cheap NASCAR beer until I forget
my former self.
Every night.
I'll have a kid or two.
I'll try to raise them to be better than me.
They won't be.
I'll act lke I'm not disapointed.
Then I'll die.