Picture This
Picture this:
You grow up, get married.
The two of you buy a house, nothing fancy
Just a quiet little fix-me-up in a safe neighborhood.
The two of you fill the house with kids
Taking each day one at a time.
There's laughter
There's tears,
But most importantly, there's happiness built into the walls
More time passes and the kids are all adults with families of their own
You start to realize that exhaustion spreads through your bones
And the house seems to be getting larger
You stare into the mirror at your graying hair and
Can't quite piece together exactly how you got so old.
You glare into the glass and the image scowls back and you
Discover you don't recognize yourself.
You brush it off and smile because your house, your life
Is your identity so it's no problem
A few years later,
Death steals your spouse.
With them, they take the bigger half of your heart
You honestly don't have the desire or strength
To keep living
Longer than you'd hoped,
You realize that life keeps moving
Despite the pain and sadness
You look at your house, and remember all the times
The two of you spent tacking up memories.
The first words, the first steps
Hundreds of "firsts" swirl together.
Then you look at your kids
And see a little piece of you in each of them
You find the strength to continue in realizing that
They still need you
Time takes everything away eventually,
Because you know your body is failing
The hundreds of doctors all tell you the same thing.
Time is all you need,
But there isn't a lot left.
Your body betrays you
And your family notices.
Some of them help the best they can,
But the majority don't
You make excuses for them because it's easier
Than admitting to yourself that
Despite the fact that you gave them everything,
They couldn't bother to return the favor.
The same majority that you gave life to
Is threatening to pull you away from your home- your life!
The ONLY thing you have left.
How do you tell someone they can't live?!
It doesn't make sense to you.
You realize that time is short
But you don't have the words to make them
Comprehend the urgency of the situation
You listen to arguements of "What's Best" and it
Makes you feel hopeless and small,
Because the people you love the most
are the very thing that's wrenching away
Any hope you have left.
Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone
You don't believe in God anymore,
But every night you pray to whatever is listening
Just in case.
And as you look around at the life you've led
You think that maybe the failing use of your body
Isn't actually the failing use of your body.
Maybe it's just a reminder that
It's okay to let go.