Baby Kennedy

There will be no pink helium balloons that read “Congrats! It’s A Girl!”

No “awwwws” or “oooows”....those goofy adult sounds.

No captured cute baby girl’s face.

No first binky or first feeding or first soft, cuddly, pink baby blanket.

 No need for the start of a college fund for dreams or possibilities…

All dreams for baby girl are asunder and now I’m stuck with a pain that even if I try to describe no being would be able fathom the pain and no being can make it better

No matter the weather, I feel as though I’m dying, or sinking into a deep hole of charcoal that screams death and so I give into his claws…. because I missed the only piece of heaven that came this way that I’d prayed for during this journey called life

But No! My perfect gift was taken from me like a thief in the night and all I can hope for are dreams of just a glimpse of my sweet angel Kennedy.

Kennedy…baby I’m sorry that mommy wasn’t tough enough to stand up to the coward of such deception that participated in your conception….and mommy knows that’s no exception, or no excuse for why mommy didn’t fight for her baby girl.

I never wanted to hurt you or take you away…

I only wanted to love you and pray for you always…

I hope that one day I’ll see you sweet angel in my dreams with all that we lost during this journey known as life from your birth… to your growth… to your special wedding day.