helpless
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Living with anxiety is like living in an invisible box. It has 7 walls, one for every day of the week and a glass ceiling to remind you that you’ll never escape. The box’s name is fear.
I tried
to save your heart.
I tried
to tell you that
he wasn't worth your time.
But, you didn't listen,
you rejected me.
Now your heart's all broken,
You’re poison to me.
Yet I keep you around.
You push me to the ground.
Then pull me back up.
No one else sees you.
Shuck-Lily cuts herself and, by God,
I'm back in love again,
This is not my responsibility,
So why am I tending to you like an animal?
So many people
Are shouting at me
I go to work
To get shouted at
I go home
To get shouted at
The voices in my
Head shout at me
Where can I escape this
Constant shouting
So I'll play my violin
A scale, G scale, D and E
Begins caving.
Up and down the staff
I'll go
As the oceans flood and flow
As the world is burning, burning
I will play what I'd been learning.
The injustice,
The stupidity,
The sadness,
The rage.
This year has shown,
The world's a big stage.
The villains on one side,
Good versus bad.
The black bird with a golden patch
Flew away unable to hatch
Her feet sore from the search
She needed only a touch
Watery tear-filled eyesgaze upon her lifeless bodylying in the bathtubpills she droppedon the floorshe looks happy nowat peacenoises and screams and hysterics and tearssurround the boy
There’s black everywhere
I can’t see a thing
Why did it have to happen to me?
I was an artist
Now
I’m just blind
Sometimes I miss life
Yearn for it really
Maybe the apst
I'm not sure, it's just a flutter
I yearn
Yearn
Yearn that is the word I feel
I yearn for the things I don't have
Does anyone care what goes on in the world?
With people that hunger and need much care?
They have bloated stomachs and legs all curled,
All shriveled, yet young, and entirely bare.
Run little mouse, runGo towards my voice I am here to help.You’re in this maze and I’m trying to help you. There is a big cat Ready to eat youIf you continue this path. Don’t fall for the trap. Let me help you. Fine, if you don’t want to do it my
Reaching out
And reaching out.
Help the helpless
But I am the helpless.
Standing out is too much
Blending in is too little.
Ruthlessly pushing through the mob
In want of space to breathe.
Helplessly flailing in the openness
In search of someone to grasp.
Memory of all that was gained
And lost.
Why must I speak?
Whenever I do, conflict ensues.
Words are spat into each other's faces,
False accusations in all places,
As I helplessly watch.
I apologize yet again,
"Can't put your mind in a cast
but broken things aren't meant to last
Like walking on broken glass
reminding you bout scars of past
cause the world went by so fast
But not you, your stuck
"Will anyone see the scars?
The marks across my arm?
The small little circles
Put there in anger
But the words burned more
If only I knew what they were for
Did I do somthing wrong?
SIXTH SYMPHONY
Beethoven
is a liar.
He would have
you believe that
he wants you;
but behind your
back, he is
glad to see you go.
Happiness
The shadows creep in
The light darkens
She cries out
Searching,
Hoping for someone to hear
But, no one hears
There is only silence
There are only shadows
Once again I am afraid to face this day
The day you left without returning
Eyes burn into me,
I feel them on me,
I don't know where from,
Goosebumps cover my body,
I feel a presence...
Next to me...
Behind me...
All around me...
Bump in the night,
a forgiven fright,
but so easily mistaken,
for ones so often taken.
Things unseen,
Things unheard,
Things that most certainly unnerve,
Scream my name
You can't see me
When I'm with them
Because I blend in.
You won't see me
Stand out
Because I'm a master of disguise.
It's so cool
To see spies
In movies.
My brain pounds with such intensity that I can feel no other pain inside my body, the meticulous beat of my own heart has become my enemy. Each thump signifying a wave of cruel pulses throughout the synapsis of my own brain.
I write to the Little Girl in the Future.
In case you have forgotten...
In case you have forgotten the beauty of the swirling passions of the primitive past
Anyone I have ever loved is a ghost I keep alive in my notebookBy feeding them the ink from my ball point pen,And let them sleep between the college ruled lines likeSome sort ofInhumane bunk bed.
today's your birthday and Fathers Day
with everything that's happened i know you'd be speechless
it's hard to think of what to say
I feel like since you've been gone our family has been a mess
I never thought I'd hate something as much as you
You take away the good people from the world
You make them want you more then anything or anyone else
Those with hard enough lives you make worse
I stand in the middle of the storm,
Thunder roaring, rain pouring.
What’s this burden that we’re forced to play?
The game in which we will lose at anyway.
I stand in the middle of the storm,
Victim
Used by many
Left by some
To all spares every penny
But has ears from none
Caught up in a journey
Though it's just begun
I down another bottle
To wash the pain away.
For a brief moment,
I feel a bit okay.
She sits on a train, trapped, without power,
Reaching speeds of one hundred miles an hour.
Her future a dream, destination untold,
All she knows is she’s stuck, there, on that road.
What is one but an empty shell whom you haven’t taken notice.
As he stands, wavering in his insecurities, you mock him, unknowingly.
How can he but admire from afar, knowing you suppress any interest even on a mutual level?
I roam from here to thereremaining discontent.My heart won't call this place a home,It must stay unattached.Everything is so unreal,I know it won't be long.Slowly I will drift away,
The water gets high,
my oxygen is low,
I'm barely getting by and I've nowhere left to go.
The heart beats,
blood races,
body heats,
surrounded by bruised faces.
Hush,
Sweet like soda pop,
Bubbly like champagne,
You make everyone around you laugh and smile.
The misty sky
That makes rainbows appear,
A kaleidoscope
Beautiful like gems in the sun,
When cold, they slowly spread
Icy, sleepy, dead.
When hot, it all moves so quick
Bright, fiery, slick
They say particles move by heat
Is that not deep?
Do I move because I am deep?
ShellsExplodeShellsDown goes my friendShellsBoom after boomShellsI cannot moveShellsInsanityShellsHelpless, I amShellsThe shell…Has been shocked
Her eyes were blue
like the ocean.
The salty waves form
and roll on shore,
her cheek.
The continue to flow
until they drown her.
Her eyes,
the sea,
a door.
Can I be understood I wonder
I am so awfully unique
The good and bad of it is so plain
My voice makes no thunder
My view is too terribly bleak
My reality too much to blame
On something so horribly cheap
"I'm so lonely. I'm Mr. Lonely.
I have nobody..."
these words ring true in my ears
from that shitty song so popular a lifetime ago.
But back then I didn't listen
and couldn't empathize.
I had a friend and
Back twitch
Her head flinched oh what can it be
My mom who used to be so strong who can’t take care of me
Hair matted no make-up on
Sitting in an empty room with nothing but me
Enclosed by four walls that stare at me
With no mercy or sympathy they stare
With menacing eyes they stare
He taught her how to fly and soar
only to break her wing.
And he could've saved her when she fell
but decided to do nothing.
Instead he locked her in a cage,
refused to tend her wing.
my mind— is as b l a n k as this page—i am unmotivated, talking to the wallsuninspired— because the walls never talk back to me
I have so much to say, but I cannot find the words.
Give me a topic; I can spit out heart-wrenching stanzas about love, loss, desperation.
I can't be pretty.
I'll never be beautiful.
I'll never matter.
Take my hand and squeeze
As hard as you can so I
Won't feel my heart break.
When I feel empty,
lonely,
and depressed,
I find myself circling,
with thoughts,
of anger and distress.
A hole in my heart,
tears me apart.
Sometimes I don't know,
where I should start.
Is this what life is?
Only the known ones
Only the pure ones
Can make it anywhere
Only the divine ones
Only the heavenly beings
Are carried on feathery wings
To the heights of riches
It stares back at me
Every imperfection exaggerated
How can anyone see beyond
It's practically screaming to be noticed
Is it possible to remove this demon?
Do I have the strength?
