number
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The College Board.
What a horrid name for an
equally
horrid institution.
It decides our
futures
based on the experiences of our
pasts
to guide our
presents.
It presents us
An obsession
An addiction.
It tortures me,
but I need it.
I got to know
the number on the scale.
Restrict my food.
Binge eat.
Purge.
Thoughts of laxatives.
We are voiceless.
Our feet are turned to iron.
We're lobbed into a torrential river
Of expectations.
Ideals. They say,
“The perfect child is ours.
“No flaws here.
Teachers don’t work hard nowadays
Rather than focus on education
They focus on my grades
I may have passed your damn class
Sheltered.I had no choiceIn the high school I attendedI am Catholic;Therefore, to a Catholic Ladies' schoolI shall go.
With words you fight, No better than a bully.
You shove with the pretense of learning,
You say you are going to give us a rope of knowledge,
Sweaty palms and the nervous biting of my nails
let me just start by saying that i hate pop quizzes
Confused looks on my face don't mean i am stupid
What if I told youThe things that you say,The jokes that you tell,The pranks that you play,All those things really hurt me today. That girl in the front,The one with the money;Her words for youAre sweet like honey.She’s your favorite,She’s the bes
Momma always used to say, “God laughs at the plans you make.”
But that was just a chance I had to be willing to take.
Empathetic, kind-hearted, containing the true values of life
I am a number.
A total which defines me.
It says whether I am brilliant or remedial,
whether I am present or absent,
whether I ascend or decline.
A statistic amongst the world.
Numbers do not feel.
when the Sun is alive
so am I
the unimaginable dream is mine
fog will remain in my path
but fire in my eyes, boldly.
there is a dawn that rises
unshakeable and endless
like the core of soul
