panicattacks
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Tô indo pra num sei onde
Que nem rumo ou prumo
aldeia minhas laçadas
Rotineiramente polialético
Nem lá nem cá minha distância altera
Sopro num cadinho os últimos grãos
1
1 more person
2
2 shaking hands
3
3 is already a crowd
4
4 pairs of hands on me
5
5 voices over lapping
6
UNTIL YOU CAME INTO MY WORLD,
THERE WAS NOTHING BUT DARKNESS AND GLOOM.
MY WORLD WAS MISSING THE CLOUDS AND THE SUN
AND ALSO THE STARS AND THE MOON.
I NEVER BELIEVED IN MAJIC ,
Who Am I?
Am i a shadwo,a chair or even a doorway?
I am a shadow
A shadow that has no way,
I am there but people walk through me
I stand aside,but still trouble follows;
An internal betrayal, sure
Anger, sadness, hopelessness
An eternal spiral of these emotions
I boil over
Once again
Love is all in vain
The vulnerability
Romanticized
There is nothing romantic about this pain
There is nothing i love about hurting
I have anxiety
Not the classic shaking and hyperventilating anxiety
The “I’m scared”
The “Something bad is going to happen”
The “I’m dying”
I stand in The Kitchen
It gets hard to breathe
I slide down the cabinets under the sink
Tears slip out of my eyes
A million thoughts run though my head
I just want to Scream
My face goes dry
Timing freezes, muscles tense, lungs start gasping for every breath
The room starts spinning, the edges blur, hearts is running, running from death
I wake up and feel the fear,
my stomach folds in a knot,
another day is here,
where my thoughts begin to clot.
Panic disorder is a cruel master,
even though its whispers are irrational,
As the night settles, it begins.
Slyly, creeping deeper into my psyche
Darkening, the rims of my thoughts.
Slowly, swallowing my heart in captivity.
As the shadows crawl,
the creaking floor boards
"It’s fine, don’t worry about it."
Are always the first words to come out,
"It’s all in your head, you’ve got this."
While wanting to spill your lunch on the floor.
Hands shake and arms quake,
Momma told me nobody would understand me...
I remember on day in the black light momma told me to old on tight...
Inside my head,
I mean a little more.
Inside my head,
Personality is at war.
I dream to be outgoing,
Both pretty and sweet
Everyone wants to be my friend
When I'm inside my head.
It's nine A.M..
You're awake,
but you don't leave your bed
because you have so much to do,
I wait and I falter,
I'm going to suffocate,
unable to breath,
shaking,
I cry silent tears but they make an impact,
rushed away,
well I tried to hold it at bay,
but my conscience made me unable,
Can't. I just, I just... Can't.Now there's no one around to hear this rant,and even if there was, I wouldn't let them.
Has there ever been a point in your life
Where you say
This is not me
This is not who I am
And this is not what I want to do
Maybe there’s no right or wrong way to feel about you;Only wrong and maybe rightOr just maybe and might, could beIf you know how to spin it that way,If you can play with your speechAnd teach your tongue to
Sometimes you watch yourself, understanding why you don't-care,Seeing several different roads, realizing they all lead to no-where,Walking down a flight of steps, hoping the devil won't-stare,
My father is a jokerand I love him with all my hearteven though his jokesaren't funny at all
Screaming,crying,breathing heavily,these were never in the brocure that they gave me