addictrecovery
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Shattered,
Into millions of glittering fragments,
The last remnants of the dream I held onto so fiercely
I watched it fall,
Even before it happened,
That wobbling self-fulfilling prophecy
Daddy, I don't know why you couldn't just choose me. Why'd you'd rather get high and hurt mommy and on top of that lose me. I don't know why it's so important when I'm dying to see you, in mommies belly, I just started moving.
Racing hearts, thoughts to match, knew it was bullshit, the high never lasts. A breath, a touch, makes you give in so fast. Pain brings you to a wall you simply cannot pass. I love you, I hate you. I don't even know you.
Heroin
Here and there, there and here,
Whats left for me, because life's unfair.
Kill myself as i push you away,
Stab myself as my heart goes astray.
She screams in silence,
But no one can tell.
And her experience with hell,
Has her contemplating self violence
She sobs to herself.
Her superman, her father,
Dies, her life forever altered.
Time after time I've turned to you
Time after time you you held me up
Time after time you tore me down
Time after time you brought me back up
You broke me, you built me
You killed me, you revived me
I see faces pass me by. Faces that I used to know but they’re all strangers to the strange--they don’t know the world I know. I hear their voices, a whisper in my ear, telling me all the things I don’t want to hear.
She woke up in
a hospital bed
Family yelling
you coulda been dead
She didn’t care
while her mama cried
Didn’t matter to her
that she had almost died
I am standing alone
walking in a place
I call Numb.
Surrounded by nothing,
but white,
no one but you.
A smile falls upon
your god like face
as you hug me and
BANG!!
Every week I find myself, heavily, halfheartedly, hopelessly, ...alone, in my addiction councellor's office. The clock pounds out the conversation, tick tock tick tock, because quiet honestly I refuse to talk.
