mylife
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Their after this brain, they like what it's saying, but they wanna change the name "WeatherMane" to "Zero-Pain"
Then I'D gain more riches N Fame N then in the later days
when things are no longer the same,
My life
Who knew
I certainly didn't
My life
It's consantly going up
Down
Right
Left
A rollercoaster
There is so much happening
It's crazy
It can be good crazy
Every man needs a code...
call it morals, call it virtue
Things we learn with feet to road
-you had to grow.. thats why it hurt you
Lookin back you see the forest,
Now removed, you see its whole
Life has taught me many things
One of the greatest thing is, it taught me how to be a mother.
Being a mom to two beautiful daughters
Made my life meaningful.
Through my fogged up glassesThe world looks somewhat softerA crumb calmerA fraction friendlierIt looks adequately welcomingmore mellowslightly sweetBut just for a moment.My glasses clear
I have lost weight since I was in fifth grade
and I know this because I have tracked my weight,
watching it go up and down,
like a child on a Carousel.
I am only a freshman in High School,
5th year
I was always a giver not a taker.
I bought my her toy, gifts or what ever I made her.
My sister is oldest but I was always the protector.
My life is wonderful and
very vry greatful
My life is nice, fun and cool as it can be
My life is like the sky
blue and gray sometime
RICH MEANS MONEY... WELL IM RICH WITHIN.. AND SOME PEOPLE REFUSE TO SEE THE REAL ME... FUNNY, PEOPLE NEVER LIKED ME BECAUSE I WAS NICE.. SO IN RETURN THEY WOULD BE MEAN TO ME, RIGHT! BUT THE TRICK WAS , I LEARNED TO STAY CALM..
my life wasnt right
all i wanted to do
is grab a knife and
leave it all behind
thinking it would make
things right...not knowing
My soul is like a peace of paper; white and light and soft and new.
My friends are like the pages; close enough to feel the pain, but like a page they too can turn away, who new.
One Day…
One day, I want to be a hero! One day, I want to be a villain! One day, I want to be someone! One day, I want to be…
I guess you can say I’m not good at rhyming
So here I go, I guess I’m trying
The one thing I can’t try to live without though
Is my comfortable bed
My bed keeps me warm at night
You hear everyone saying, "You know my name, not my story."
Well my life is not the definition of glory.
My mom was sick all my life,
I wish she would be able to see me become a wife.
To be or not to be
that is the question
that I now face.
As I stare into
the eyes
of my, oppressor?
No? Possibly.
I suppose it all
depends.
Depends on how
I view
They say I have big eyes
So I can see truth through your lies
They say I have big lips
So I can speak my mind
years have gone by with no confrontation
stuck by ourselves without realization
but that's when I met him the boy lost in time
things were just perfect he was calling me "mine"
So you found out
Well, how do you feel?
Me?
I feel vulnerable
Anxious
Confused
Judged
Hurt
Angry
Destroyed
This was a side of me that you weren't ready for
Everyday feels the same,
like im going insane,
trying to stay in this game,
No one knows,
what I dare not show,
And no matter where I go,
You are there,
showing you don't care
Wrong were the story's we were told as children
A prince will find you and carry you away
Your chance to shine is soon to come
A prince who has been made, and used
Can I Get A Story
I am Black and American
Yet I am labeled as white
And not because I bite
Tears don't mean sad or pain,
Isn't even flow from wounded heart...
Tears are way to express joy and sad...
Emotion charged when fervently warmed...
In Very sad or Ecstatic joy,
If I were a recipe,
I would be made up of mostly self critism and doubt with a pinch of failure.
Never adding up to anything more than a meal at McDonald's.
Something fast and easy,
I take my poker,
Press it to my finger,
Push the button,
See the blood,
Put a drop on the test strip,
See the levels,
Get my insulin,
Fill the syringe,
Stab my leg,
Eat my food,
I am the girl with the blues.
Trying to cover up this bruise
That has harden my heart
Lord this pain is tearing us apart
Al I want is to restart
I’m sitting here with these blues
when we startedit was a messno structureuntruthfulnessit was bound to unravelhit the truth lighton some hurtful levelit was bound to fall apartfrom the lies the secrets
Every person is just another risk.Recyclable, used, stomped on all in the name of insincere apology.Thrown in the unwanted corner, waiting for someone to care.
The first ones to learn, the first ones to go
The oldest children are the first to know
The American dream, enticingly close
To our immigrant families who love us most
I remember how you’ve always told me the story of the day I was born
And how the doctors had tried to turn me the day before.
Basketball takes desire, dedication and heart.
Then you'll be at the top of the chart.
It takes a coach, captain and team endeavoring to do it's best.
When the game is over you can rest.
I hear thunder as he approaches.
His breath is visible in the cold morning air.
I touch his neck and feel the heat radiating from within.
His chest rises and falls with every breath, like waves stirring in an ocean.
The deep, agonizing thoughts swarm around my head as if they are bees.The dark memories cloud my brain to the core, keeping me from seeing the reality around me.
Eventually it gets old
You get tired of arguing just to have a conversation
Your throat is still sore from yelling at the top of your lungs just to make sure your voice is heard
Round 1:
You ask your parents how they feel about gay people
"trash" "freaks" "sinners"
First impression
Seems to be the best
But why do I find it
So hard to rest
Late night thoughts
On my mind
Its those same thoughts
That take all the time
Is time running out
1
Roses are red
Violets are blue
your curtins are opend
and im watching you
2
Twinkle Twinkle little star
i want to hit you with my car
I guess I didn't know how to love
myself.
The things you said you saw...
I always did think you were delusional.
For I am not beautiful,
I am not worthy of
Want.
I envy those that shine in the light,
Those who aren't afraid to fight
for who they are.
For every time I think it's time,
For every time I say that this moment, this one is surely mine,
I dance with creatures that others fear
And I am not afraid.
I do what others prefer to watch,
And have never felt like more myself.
That feeling - it's almost indescribable.
T-minus 2 hours, I'm getting ready. The room is clouded with the smell of hairspray and makeup.
my head. It bobs.
my eyes, they droop.
my neck bends.
don’t sleep!
my fingers they slow,
my breath it steadies.
my work as my pillow.
don’t sleep!
minutes lag on as hours
I now realize I have the disease.
But I'm not alone
"He hit me and it felt like a kiss"
I can't help it
That's how I was raised
That's what I was taught
He knows best for me
Made many bad chocies,
all caused by listening to other voices,
but i'm not going to make an excuse,
because I did nothing to fix it but use and abuse,
I was in a dark place,
and I couldn't spot the light,
Things like this don’t go away
The sadness builds as you try to be strong
Some days you can’t even get out of bed
You don’t tell the ones you love
If you do they get mad
Like it’s your fault you’re sad
I filled this out before, but it didnt read it
it was a dumb mistake, I went back instead of reading it
I must be a ghost.
Oh, how they walk through me.
It's like I'm invisible,
And no one hears my screams.
It's a lifetime story,
But I hate those shows.
There's things in the world,
Driving on an old country road
Take me to natures mountain home
Tennessee old Country Roads
Stopped in front of the old dirt road.
I usually do what I'm told.
And that night the warmth felt so damn cold.
I was feeling young but too old,
anticipating the trouble I'd watch unfold.
A free me breathes in the air
As I spread my wings
As I sing and as I scream
For joy
No less
I put my wings
To the test
And fly. And soar.
And go through
The open door
It wasnt love at first sight before
more like friendly meetings at the movies
just like gum stuck on a shoe we stuck to each other
Born Into a World of Unknown
Fate stricken life, maybe she just might
Her Name was never to be known
The things she was never to acquire
The day my mother walked down the aisle
She walked with beauty, grace, and a vast smile
Dressed in white and pure in her heart
"Just send your heartbeat I'll go...
To that Blue Ocean floor"
I'll never forget
The time you asked me to explain,
And you just knew,
Knew I could help you understand.
You knew that I had the ability
Since Freshman year, I love being on stage.
I made entertaining my whole entire life.
It always soothes me and calms down my rage.
6:50 pm
The end was soon.
Anticipation overwhelming the mind.
People pass,
Unfeeling to the time ticking on.
7:00 pm
Minutes disguised as hours.
Unconvincing as they slugged on,
And I sat there
My world... a daisy
And watched the petals fall off
One by One
On my deadening flower.
Whenever I watch a movie
That moves me
I make a promise to myself
To be better for them
As if
A person who doesn’t even know
I exist
Would appreciate me
Bettering myself
But
A sinister presence descended over my mind.
It carved out all light and with it,
My sight.
Tears unabashedly pored from useless eyes.
A master mason began practicing his art.
I am a quiet girl who likes to dream.
I wonder if people will become nicer and more caring in the world.
I hear silence pounding in the middle of the night.
I see a happy world that’s always sunny and happy.
Stop the lying,
I see through you.
Stop the yelling,
I see through you.
Stop the staring,
I see through you.
Stop the pushing,
I see through you.
Stop and realize,
I am from beautiful Hawai’i nei,
A place that keeps people here to stay.
From beautiful beaches to multi-races;
A land I was born in with features of my descendant’s faces.
Raised on Hawaiian food,
No,
You cannot and you will not be nothing more than you are now
You are not a butterfly, no pretty wings will sprout from your nonexistent limbs ; you will forever be a worm
I’m trying to grow
I’m trying to prosper
But I can’t do so with you in the back of
My mind.
Pills, weed, drinks and me
Introduced to the devil we danced for a life time
Constantly feeding me pain, sarrow and deppression
As if all my wounds were healed
All my suffering was gone
“You pray, God listens.”
The biggest lie I’ve ever heard.
He wasn’t there when I laid dying,
He wasn’t there when I asked for advice,
I woke up and smiled
I’m having a good day
My water was off
I’m having a good day
My car didn’t start
Freedom comes with each word that pours out of the speakers
Every step I take and move I make
Grace is wrapped around my arms and legs
While my mind is at rest and my body performs.
My life is buses and sidewalks,
Books and muses,
Used only to amuse and distract
From the reasons for not being where I want to be at.
My thoughts are ice cream and drowning,
Why? Because my disguise is bliss,
Pay attention, you need to know this.
Sit up, It's disrespectful to have your head down when I'm talking
Why isn't your work done?
Today was the day,
Where you decide you didn't want to stay,
you have fought so hard,
Today you finallyput down your guard.
Too bad it was too late,
Way, way too late,
She’s the one always there,
She always shows me how much she cares.
She cheers me up and makes me laugh,
She is my other half.
What if i told you that every night i cry
Praying that the lasting tears falling from my eyes would soon dry
Listening, and accepting lie after lie of the stories you told me
My heritage and my background,
The color of my skin or the color of yours
the length of my hair or the length of my nails,
My hieght or my size only have as much power as i give them
My life is like a rocky road... I have my good days... The days where you see me smile and it's a true smile. These days are the days I laugh and am caring.... I don't care what people think of me... These days are the days I have full confidence
It's crazy how things change, the type of isshh that'll make you feel strange. I dont belong here, im not wanted.
Momma use to cook for me before i went school
She use have to wake me twice before I finally woke
She use to say no grumpy morning was her only rule
She use to make me laugh with her old Knock knock jokes
As I lay there thinking, it all turns black
I think to myself there's no turning back
I scream and I cry and I try to move
But what was I thinking, there is nothing to prove
I cannot help but to criticize
All my life I was taught what I thought was right and wrong.
All my life I dressed for church and knelt before the Lord my God.
All my life I sinned and hurt and all my life I lied.
I lay in bed, with exhaustion
I feel my eyes burning.
But my mind is racing,
racing like a horse.
My mind can not stop
it wants to take control,
control of my life.
Discords and suspensions embellish my Symphony;
They’re constantly ringing aloud.
I’ve learned that my Song needs some sort of dissonance;
Otherwise there will be no sound.
"I'm grateful that yous was unfaithful, cause i wouldn't have been able
to keep my mental stable and live a fable
with a woman's who's "Slut-Soo-Easily" labeled
This, is deeper than the fourth period--
Sorrowful Story, Something Strong
But it seems like my definition of my metal was wrong
Abuse: He used his strength the wrong way;
Mommy!
His angry transition,
I have been through...
the innocents
the confused feeling
the love
the lies
the let down
the wishful thinking
the love
the safe feeling
the heart break
the sleepless nights
... as years, months and days pass by, I always think of you. wonderin' whether you are thinkin of me. one day we will find away back to eachother knowing that we belong to one another. when I hold you, I will feel secure.
FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!
Black America has been inspired
By these words from the past
But are we truly free?
This question puzzles me?
When our fellow brothers and sisters
Life’s not meant to be lived easily
It’s not easy to live life peacefully
Hardships has been beating me recently
If only I can live this life decently
But I’m hitting obstacles constantly
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
but the wait just feels so much longer
truth sets in and the realization hits
memories of the past come back in bits
how can it hurt so much
