lgbtq
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i like to think we- the transsexuals-
are more divine than the gods,
for we weild the touch of creation.
we birth our own flesh and blood,
build our own bodies,
and shape them with loving hands.
I hate how glamorized being transgender is in the media.
It’s not all sunshine, and rainbows, and butterflies.
Well, it is rainbows, but that's not the point.
She pauses, outside the crossroads that read "Men" and "women"
Most would call this a bathroom
She calls this Russian Roulette
Tunnel vision, heartbeat skipping
Sometimes I’m fine.
Sometimes I’m just a little tired. You know?
I know you get what I mean.
It is trans day of remembrance
Another vigilAnother memorialMore and more lost each year
January 8th 2009, a beautiful baby girl is born into this world. She’s 7 pounds and 15 ounces. She’s 20 ½ inches. She is the perfect bundle of joy. Everybody loves her.
A lot of people take it for granted.
But I wouldn’t.
Give me what I want.
Give me what I need.
All I want to do is live in the utopia everyone says this is.
I want to be a boy in the way they are.
I want a round chest because it’s so muscular.
Not because my body needs a place to hold milk for a child that’ll never exist.
The rules to passing as a man to the general public.
Step 1
Cut your hair.
Your long gorgeous thick hair.
Yeah? You love it?
I wish I felt like a girl.
I wish I could enjoy having long hair, hip dips, my lovehandles , a big butt, and perky breasts.
I wish I liked being seen as a girl.
Do you think I chose this?
Why would this be a choice?
Who chooses to pay thousands of dollars in medical debt?
There is a boyThe boy is namedLondon.Yes, the city works.But the boy rarelyhas the energy to see sights like thecity his name is fromanymore.The boy doesn't livelike other boys do.
I'm suffocating in
the bigotry
Surrounding me
This life is so old and dead to me but it's stuck on me like a fucking leech.
I wanna be myself
But for now I'll be someone else
I thought those mean boys were my first love
Until you found me
I fell so hard
At first sight, they say.
You made my blind spots bigger
Every year
So I would notice less
And love you more
This is my gay poem
My poem about pride
And about finally coming out to my parents after 23 years
But you know some news falls on cotton-filled ears
Never bothering to ask where they got the cotton from.
I was 16 years old when I finally realized that I was gay.
When I finally understood why I had so many girlfriends,
But could barely speak to other boys
I was 16 years old when I first kissed a boy
My senior year of high school I joined the school’s swim team
Not because I particularly liked the idea of spending my afternoons
mindlessly swimming laps in a public pool.
Or the smell of chlorine in my hair
I love when a man is nervous to talk to me for the first time
Not in a masochistic way
Or a rude way
I just love the way they blush
Or the way they trip on their words
Or fidget with their fingers
Straight people can be so nosy sometimes
There’s always something y’all want to know about what I do in the bedroom.
But at the same time none of you really do
And honestly I don’t understand.
First: Jesus loves you. Even if he is the only man who does at the moment.
Two: your sexuality and your religion are not mutually exclusive and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
They call me a slut
They call me a slut because I sleep around I guess that’s what they call it
They call me a slut because I am good at making men feel good
I am good at making men feel good because it makes me feel good.
Is that really us?
What happened to our graphic tees?
The white tube socks?
Do we always cuff our jeans now?
How do you make it look that neat?
We never really do neat
Or I guess we never used to.
You ask me why,
But it is so hard to answer.
Because even I don't know.
How to form the words,
How to describe my thoughts,
How to describe my feelings.
I am not fluent.
My mind cannot be translated.
Depression is a drag queen
She sashays across the floor
Covered in sparkles and makeup
So you almost forget.
You almost forget how alone you feel
How the bar is empty
A pretty pink caterpillar plays her part perfectly
She knows what’s expected of her
Though sometimes she wonders…
What if she doesn’t want to be pretty and pink?
[NOTE: I'm a non-binary person, my pronouns are they/them. At the beggining of the poem, I talk about the period of time I considered myself a girl. When I start speaking in first personand I talk about "they" I'm talking about myself.
The year I was born
Was the same year Matthew Shepard was murdered
The same year blood filled our televisions
And anger burned our throats
The year I was born was when everything changed
My family means the world to me.
It's somewhat like a big huge tree.
Our love grows roots further than the eye can see.
What my family feels like to me.
I could never write love poems til I met you.
Could never describe how it felt to love
To love as deeply as I do
As I have
I could never write love poems without them becoming tear drops on the paper
Friday night, first week of May, you brought me here like a child. Hungry for new experiences. A new world. Scared that that world might not accept him as he is. Nervous.That night we drank, we danced, we laughed, and we kissed….
I never told my parents I was gay.
Never mentioned that I would not be giving them grandchildren.
An eleven year old’s mind, full of insecurity, but eleven year old’s will listen.
Listen to the news that you watch
Loud!
Proud!
And under attack,
We don't want victims,
This city,
It lacks,
Loud!
Proud!!
We've fought for a name,
No way can you bring us all down,
To a shame
“Pick a side,” they say.
I laugh.
I don’t get to pick.
I have always been taught to pick the right side.
Never to question.
But I’m curious.
The wrong side looks...
New.
Fresh.
It’s A CRISIS... It’s A CRISIS... !!!
MAN Their Talk Is PRICELESS... !!!
It’s A CRISIS When Ish’ Happens To Them... ?!?
Like Gun Violence That Leads To DEATH... !!!
But When It’s BLACKS... !!!
Let us save the innocence
For the last time
I will say this
ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER.
No matter politicals, sexual, or religious views
I watch her
She breathes
And silently, I ask her
Marry me
The words catch in my throat so evilly
For the sake of what
I find her in my bedroom, grinning,
Messy and mischievous, her dark hair down
“I just needed a kirby grip.”
She stiffens up, stands straight,
When i was young
I dream of a perfect love.
As i look up to the sky,
i see myself having groom and being a bride.
Oh my sweet boy
You who were once my morningstar
Far away and too far gone
Lost amidst the endless sea
Drowning you with each crushing wave
You make fun of my voice.Likening it to a chickenThe tears roll off my cheekLike the waterfalls of the NiagaraAre you a boy or a girlAre you queer or gay?Why limit me to the binaryFor you feel entitled cisquoI never will understand theeFor you sa
The grave hollows the liesThat are performativeFor it reveals my own bondageShake the blocks crushing down my skirtSo it crumbles down the mirror of delusion
It's just those kids that are a little bit off,
when a teacher calls their name and they struggle not to cough
And ,,Girls on the right and boys on the left" is a terrifying statement
A minute is slicing my nerves
It gives me a pressure along my body's curves
Muting my voice down to the silence
Betraying me, my gestures are put in defiance
A minute ago I was a human
it's like being a dandelion in a field of flowersyou look like them, you smell like them, you feel like them
but you're a weed
Cutting through the dark
It's a cold, it's a dark which dwell in my shivering heart
My fears make me chasing through the losses I bear,
All these pieces which are falling apart.
Spreading my lashes outwards to the sun, moon and stars.
Connecting bodies as a rhizome,
Emerging here and there, lost in nowhere.
Moulding rhythms, rhymes, tones, flights and falls between the words.
I've been uprooted thrice. First found
no comfort in being myself. By
being swept off the ground.
The people hanged stigma over
With voices harsh and loud
Second, the state failed to make me proud
Remain untouched by the love and acceptance of the other
Stay beyond of life and people's circles
You're all alone
The best you can do is to hide yourself from your mother
she made me feel so happy…
so why did I feel so trapped?
I felt that I had finally found a person in this world who genuinely cared for me—and who I genuinely cared for back—and simultaneously that I was drowning where I stood.
For once I’m actually happy
Despite all the shit that happens,
She makes my day better
It doesn’t matter if my parents don’t “agree” with it
My dad and I butt heads all the time
Inspire to be or not to be.
Inspire to be better,
Better for yourself,
Better for your family,
Better for your next encounter.
Inspiration must be your mindset.
Every time someone asks me about my gender,
I get a stomach ache in my brain,
Palms sweat as a battle between truths and lies appear,
Little do they know,
As they march along the streets, bearing flags upon their shoulders—
As they raise their banners high with faces strong and filled with purpose—
It is impossible to say what she is like
as she is incomparable to most earthly things
She's not a wildflower,
she is a whole meadow
A secret kept by the forest
I remember the first poem I ever wrote about you
how at first I had no intention to share it with you
I'd never written anyone a poem --
at least not that I'd shared with them
I think about a lot of things when I stare into space,
But when asked, those things immediately fly out of my head
Then I remember them later and think
Thank God I didn't say that
I sometimes believe that someday
You will wake up
Next to me
And wonder how and why
you settled for what you see
I fear my pretty words
Insecure, she says
I look at her across the table and think
you're perfect
I have a vendetta against
whoever made her feel less than just that
She deserves more than
You. It always comes back to you.
You say you know you will hurt meBut you don't want to.
I am terrified, so fucking scared.
The thought makes my heart pound,my ears ring,my mouth dry.
I want to be the kind of girl people write songs about
The kind that strangers fall in love withwhen they see her on the bus
The kind who inspires paintings, compositions, books, poetry
I am an ocean
Restless, impatient, wildly emotional, unpredictable
I am the ocean
And you are the sky
I reflect you
Your mystery and raw beauty
When you are clear and bright,I glitter in the sun
Buck teeth and bright eyes
I was eight years old,
I spent my days out on the playground
all alone in the cold
right by the fence where I would watch traffic behind the monkey bars
When she came to me
I tried to warn her
Despite the danger
I know I pose
I drew her in anyway
A carnivorous flower
So intriguing
So pretty to look at
You draw near it
I am terrible at reading peopleBut I want to read her
She’s the kind of book I want to read cover to coverThen start all over again
A book I would keep with meAlways learning new things from it
White, empty walls
Followed by
White, blank pages
A cold, vacant stare
Lights flickering
Unfortunately, she is home
A padlock on the door
Melt down the key
Into something
Somewhere
Between dreaming
And waking
The line
Is so
Blurry
That
I
Can convince
Myself
That you
Are really
Beside me
That
The blankets
I own the rod
I own the staff
You walk through the valley
I make the path
You fear no evil
No shadow of death
I comfort you
With every breath
Painted walls, guide my rough fingertips
Cracked movements trip my aloof mind,
Feeling distinct
Familiar even,
A cool autumn breeze runs up my spine,
Prickling my skin into reality.
it's the sound of rain out her window late may
it's the way the sun danced off her eyes on the train
it's how we laid there under the trees reading
They didn’t tell you that cherry cola was wrong,
but they let you know it was.
They said that only the sick minded drank it,
declared from a broken and cracked pulpit
How sickly sweet is my lover
A sinful candy, pink like her lips that soothe my questioning mind
I will love who I want, kiss who I want, and no one should not respect me because of that. I don't care if you think it's wrong, it's right to me, and that's all that matters.
He is thirteen
Navigating school hallways and people and the nooks and crannies of his developing body
But one thing he can't figure out
Is what's wrong with him
Disclaimer: Before reading this piece, I want you to know
these are not my own values and beliefs but the beliefs of men
who indulge in toxic masculinity and stupidity on a daily basis.
Thank you for your time.
•
I knew you would understand,
However, we were truly scared.
We heard stories of what they would do,
See it all over the news...so why wouldn't we be scared?
I'm the eldest, so she looked up to me,
This is a confession, handcuffed, miranda righted confession
I killed a girl.
I killed a girl and I liked it but-
I hate to say that she never existed.
This will be hard to put out there
But, I know, it'll be worth it. Life isn't fair.
I've never thought about who I am.
I could be Bi, Asexual, Homo, or Pan.
All of these thoughts could be real.
Smooth was your touch
Softer than the eyes of any man that could ever gaze upon me
Sticky were those fingers
For once you held me in those hands I was yours
Warm were those amber eyes
The scratchy stubble and broken dress straps
she's sent plummeting, my Cinderella
The sorrow and shame spliter her like cracks
Crimson stains the backs of the angel's hands
My Youth
The World, the world, the world, Tiny, Big the world,
It’s round or square, it’s in the Air! It’s here or there, it’s everywhere,
It’s Blue, Green and full of We. It’s We the People, the Strong and Free.
i sat in my us history class 4 years ago watching my spirit slowly split from my body
and i wondered if everyone saw what i saw
watching from the outside in, a spectator to my own body.
i sat in my us history class 4 years ago watching my spirit slowly split from my body
and i wondered if everyone saw what i saw
watching from the outside in, a spectator to my own body.
We live in a country where, we become aware
of political issues through songs.
Songs stating, "This is America" its just not fair.
Children being ripped away from their mothers,
I fight the darkness of the heart
The hidden and dangerous part
Closed with a bolt, local and key
The secret of forgotten past left to be
Lost, there is no way I see out,
Deepening darkness creates my doubt
No matter the circumstance
We'll stick together like glue
For this is our romance
And I love you
There was a newspaper headline a few days ago
‘America Is Weeping’
All I could think was
So you chose to join the party?
Her bare back moves with each breath
as she sleeps into the late morning.
A tattoo on her shoulder peers over the covers,
as her glasses sit on the table adjacent to the bed.
I want to take in all of her-
Even though the topic of sex makes me feel uncomfortable,
there is a problem that needs to be addressed.
For years in school, they teach us about sex between a man and a woman,
There is a facade, a thing you don't see
But here we're all stuck on "he" or "she"
And forget there is more than that to me.
To my 18-year-old self,
I know you are scared
Because it took you forever
To admit to yourself
That you might be gay.
I know you’re confused
Because you’ve liked boys before, too
Will you ask me to stay?
I don't know what went wrong,
We were supposed to last long.
I tried my very best,
But you ended up just like the rest.
August 23, 2017
Dear Mom,
Please read this entire letter through and don't skip around; read this before opening the email I sent you. Please keep an open mind. I love you!
Terrible.
Tasteless.
Taboo.
All are words to describe,
What I long for.
It doesn't hurt me,
It doesn't hurt you,
So why does it matter?
Terrific.
Dear Donald Drumpf,
I don’t quite see the appeal
Of a walrus wearing a toupee
Shouting out obscenities while I stand here in dismay
The country is in shambles
the first goodbye is hardest
and the second is easier
once you get used to leaving
walking away is numbed
but i was never the one to walk away
just watched you leave
so each goodbye stings
Grandfather, I thought you loved me?
You said it as you held me close.
All the times we laughed with glee,
And when we would garden outside.
Then we were in your room, I froze
I begged for you to leave me be
Mom, I’m gay
I’ll talk to you later.
I’m sorry (but not really),
I’m in love with a girl.
She is stunning,
My heart is full.
Everyday girls stand on the scales, and cry.
They look in the mirror and cry.
They look at themselves, see themselves as fat
when they are fading away to skin and bone.
Because I love you...
I'll support your decisions,
Stand by you during your transitions,
Be on your side in the hardest times,
Give you hugs even when midnight chimes,
-Open My Heart-
Give me lifeWake me up in the morning,Kiss me at the crack of dawn and tell me that you love me.Show me that your expectations can exceed my expectancy.
Cherishing otherwise completely normal interactions
A glance my way,
a smile,
a laugh,
the shortest sentence.
But she's with another person.
Another girl.
rapunzel, rapunzel
let down your hair
a girl with long golden tresses
trapped in a tower
of fear and shame
a girl with a secret:
rainbow heart
hidden under golden waves
A sigh was all it took
To make his sorrow grow
As he whispered it into
The night
Leaning against the bannister
His blue eyes searched the
Vast darkness ahead of him
Take me to Atlantis,
the wide array of sea life.
I want to be where the merpeople are,
and sing their songs of seas.
Take me to Atlantis where I may meet my Princess,
and she will meet hers.
She don't belong to me, another woman has her heart. Saddened with grief, I cry the tears of memories missed. Will I ever love another woman just the same? Perhaps better?
Today I met a friend
Someone Strong and funny and out going
Someone small and frial.
Someone faint of heart
I met someone knowledgeable
but that wasn't my friend
Once upon a time...
There was a young lad named Cinderfella
Who lived with his stepfather, and his hideous step brothers
And they abused this poor lad hella
It had gotten worse since the death of his mother.
They locked her away
put that dyke away
shes frozen in her bones
breasts like ice cream cones
they told her date that man
but around the room she scans
spotting melted girls
Love “was a Greek God who only desired Beauty.
Though he himself was never beautiful, he constantly had and lacked
beautiful things and people—he was, at once, never beautiful nor ugly.”
Since when did it matter who you love?
when did loving someone of the same sex become a crime?
since when did religion stop being included in the first amendment?
when did believing in something different cause mass panic?
I.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned
II.
Fluorescent lights contrast dawn
the Sun has yet to break
six letters.
one word.
Faggot.
two syllables that make any queer kid in-or-out of the closet feel nothing less than
unwanted
unloved
America the Great.
America that is mixed like a blender
but judges based on race
and a someone's gender.
America the Great.
Why do you hate me?
Is it the color of my face?
Oh America, where are You heading?
Are You welcoming the refugees?
Although You used to, now you’re not willing
To help those special people in need.
Looking at You from the Old Continent
Eyes
Eyes that show us the world we live in
Eyes that give vivid pictures in our minds
Eyes that let us see the wonder
Eyes that make up our own experiences
America is violence.
America is a land, “where all men are created equal”
But what happens when those men are people of color, Islamic, gay, or female.
Dear America,
You suck
Opening statement: 'you suck'
The common phrase of common folk; terrible
I have severe chronic depression, insomnia, social anxiety, and yes, I identify as a pansexual
Born in 1999,
a Northwest city.
Three sisters and three brothers,
parents with no college degree
and one income.
But what do I know,
of the riots,
police brutality,
America the free
But are we really free?
Striving to contain a positive image
Looking into the mirror
Not many like what they see
Remain a healthy mindset is what I strive to do
America is not free, not until everyone has the same rights as you and me.
We? Us? Them?
Who am I to say we are the same. They fight to walk down the streets.
I fight just to marry the man of my dreams.
how can so much hate
come from within
a land known as great?
there is no end to this fight for humanity
to give in is to give away
your sanity.
bittersweet
is a girl with two left feet
somehow wanting to dance into my
life and making me feel
again
bittersweet
That feeling, those feelings, that tingling I have
The twinkling, the gleaming, screaming within
The bleeding, the pleading, the grieving that’s been
Confusing when it’s who I am.
it’s not easy to explain, or maybe it’s easy
But i just don’t know the right words
or maybe i have the right words
Today more than ever, we face a time where we need to be heard.
Today more than ever, we have to work together,
because acts of hate won't stop us, they are a remainder that there is a lot work to be done;
When I was thirteen,
I knew exactly who
I was going to marry.
He would be tall,
and strong,
with black hair
and even blacker eyes.
He would be my protector.
I'm angry
I have no idea why the fuck why, but if I did, I'd do something about it
I'm angry
If I knew why the hell I was angry I'd tell you. But I don't, so I won't, because I can't
I'm angry
Dear mom,
She never had to be beautiful for me to love her.
But she is and I guess that's what makes it that much harder.
I think it's the way she talks,
her mouth like a cracked pen cap
There is this boy that I once knew,
He had a barbed wire smile,
And an equally as rough kiss.
I held his shaking hands,
And kissed his scarred arms,
You're broken and shattered
Now bleeding and torn.
You feel unloved and unwanted
So you smile but we know its fake.
You say you're fine but it's a lie
Her freckles. They were so beautiful.
I only noticed how beautiful they were when I saw what she was blind to.
RED is the violence our kind faces
a discrimination that surpasses
religion and races
An ORANGE tinge outlines
our scars. A reminder of
Injustice comitted this June,
in an Orlando
gay bar.
these two situations are not ideal in combination:
being thirteen,
and realizing that gay is a synonym for your name.
but that was my summer before eighth grade.
She was my friend.
Blonde, green-eyed,
Fair skinned and delicate.
She was perfect in more ways then one.
And I fell for her.
She was a flower,
Beautiful and dainty.
That moment, where words from my mind
Flow through my hand and into my pen
That moment, when all of the thoughts
Become organized, and no longer scream
Are you listening?! Can you hear me...
Do you even care?
my father tells me to be quieter as i’m washing the dishesso he can hear the news,hear about the 102 people shot in orlando last weekendand the candlelight vigil i didn’t attend because i had to work
AT AGE 5 I UNDERSTOOD LOVE BETTER THAN I EVER HAVE. YOUNG, NAIVE, PURE. HADN'T BEEN GRINDED DOWN INTO THE PAVEMENT YET. DIDN'T HAVE A SCAR RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF MY BARELY BEATING HEART.
What's to be said for gun control?
Don't you realise that everyone lying now dead
Had the chance to carry, to defend themselves
But went to the nightclub empty-handed instead?
Loving her is like loving the stars
Cold
Lonely
But so very beautiful.
Nobody should die becuase of love.
They should not die because of hate.
People may die of illness.
People may die of old age.
Why kill over differences?
Why kill over your hate?
Dedicated to the family members and victims of the Orlando Tragedy
When the moon kisses the seas,
The oceans turn red.
When the nation mourns the lost,
Our hearts turn red.
Night falls…
to sin with love
is to quite simply love,
to judge someone's love
is like judging art.
you may not like the sight
or even see the point
but to others it may feel just right.
The heart behind his false chest
The voice so weak from shaking breaths
The blood so damn unnecessary
The mirror lies. His body's scary.
She is a stranger. A ghost. A monster.
I’m pretty sure that public bathrooms might just be the most important invention of our modern world,
I mean think about it,
Eyes of green bottleglass and amber,
not gems faceted but true
stare acutely at dotted marks
on field and of blue,
while silver moonlight hair and skin
of sweet ice cream are dim and fade
Desire thrives best under pressure.
Examine, for instance, the fragmented poetry of Sappho:
for how many years did those tattered scraps of Papyrus survive?
I hear America laughing, a contagious melody of delight
Jokes and songs and amusing things, finding pleasure in the simple joys of life
But we do not laugh at racism, inequality, or discrimination
The Dreams of Tomorrow
Contest entry for Payne County Youth Services 2015, 8th annual contest. As of 12/12/15, results and placements have not been released yet. When they are, I’ll post that in an edit if I placed.
I knew a girl who got her hair set on fire
Her things stolen, ruined because, a girl, she desired
"Kill yourself, fag." But is being gay so wrong?
Well, she listened to them and now she is gone.
resilient
resilent me,
like a bouncing ball
one world to another,
down every street-
bouncing
bouncing
I can run at top speed,
at the drop of a hat
block out loud sounds-
occasionally
you meet a person or
people who
strike your heart
like a hammer to a bell.
it hurts when they
don't return the feeling.
they become the reason
for the cracks
Boys are only half of the equation.
Many seasons ago I discovered both
males and
females.
And there is no way to predict who will or
who will not
clear the chasm.
Women are women no matter the sex and men are men in the most of respects,
you may be mixed if you wish,
or both if thats what you want,
you could be neither if you prefer,
You are either a girl or a boy, and that's it, right?You can be one or the other, not both and not neither.That's what I've been told, and I try to believe it with all my might,But I know how I feel, you don't.
I'm Seventeen.
I talked to my counselor today.
The school won’t let me back to class without a note from a therapist;
Amidst a 'naturally beautiful' movement, I cut off all of my hairSo that people could ask why.Some days, I don't know.
Was what he said to me
as I told him what I am
he threw me out, on the streets and I am singin'
its who I am!
so what if I'm a demon?
Ive heard you scream it all before,
am I not, a human being?
She is, in essence, all things. She is the universe embodied, and every tiny speck of dust within it. In her infiniteness, she draws all who meet her in and gives them a piece of her.
I never thought that it would hurt me, When I used you as a cover up, I pretended to love you as opposed to the one girl that, Never mind, You would never understand it, I wanted Gabby so bad, But I didn't want to come out of the closet yet, So I
Thank you five,
thank you places—
don’t break curtain,
crack that imaginative fourth wall
where the boys must be chasing you;
aren’t they lining up at your door?
“We know”,
You'd be surprised to figure out who hides behind these lies,
You'd be surprised to figure out who smiles while in disguise,
It's me, the girl who you see smiling all the time,
A smile,
A laugh.
Calculative, precise.
"What a beautiful young Woman
you are,
ready to please
the perfect Man
that is required for a
Healthy
Happy
Normal
life."
Can you and I make love in the dark?
So I won't have to face reality
So my imagination can create the scene of what is instilled in me to be right.
Can you and I make love in the dark?
As a woman I am told to be quiet
Keep it down
They try to keep me down
Below you, looking up
On my knees, I exist only in ways that service you
They want me to hear, not to speak
We all attempt to know ourselves.
As people, we are born and the process begins.
Exploration of body and mind,
Blinking eyes and wiggling fingers and toes,
We search for answers.
This heart is at peace, finally.
It has been one hell of a journey.
he's such a fag
that's so gay
words that you hear everyday
they might even be things that you say
i thought i was faulty
attributed a lack of sexuality to the fact that be i was hurt by a man who said he loved me
I Exist
Though you may try to find some sort of bubble to put me in
To maybe keep my unnaturalness from trying to infect you
To maybe make yourself feel better when you can "see past it"
i want to shout my love's name from rooftops and i want to make the whole world know she's mine
i see my love in everything there is because my love is as soft as skin and as brave as the ocean tide
If I was somehow granted the choice
To change any day if my life
It would be the day I came out.
I would change even the tiniest of details.
No one knows the anxiety I face
Never understanding the difficulties of being in my place
I'm a man, in a womens shell
Forever living every day in my dysphoric hell.
I'm used to being just another guy,
i want to wear
pastels
and cute skirts
and expensive stockings
but i hate it
when people call me a "girl"
"she"
is a word
i am starting to hate
not inherently
only
when used for me
and i say
in my head
"'they' or 'it', please"
but silence is king
"A"
does not stand
for "ally"
it is us
overlooked
and denied
we are not broken
we are complete
we do not need
your precious ritual
"A"
we are
forever mute
a community
of silence
we speak
loud and clear
to have words
snapped up
by our brethren
they all say
"speak up"
and we do
Small towns with big voices
No wandering sheet music can be found here
I have no reason to search for it, I haven’t heard a stray tune
The chorus has its prose, and its stories, and I hear them and feel nothing
filling out papers
two options in front of me
male
female
i am forced to mark the latter
because even two years later
the whole conversation
meant absolutely nothing to you
I've never held a beverage to my lips
I imagine beer tastes just like piss
And I can't believe I'm sober as I'm saying this
But I'm sure I've tasted intoxication.
You're just like the bottom of a bottle
Straight
What is ‘lesbian’?
Not me, I swear
I’m ‘normal’
Curious
My best friend
Likes girls, I guess
It’s not that odd
"Erasure,"
It's a word that's been
Thrown around lately
Something
That has unfortunately
Been brought to my attention
Because it is about me,
It is me.
I have been "erased"
It's dark and alone in here
But I still bite my tongue because it's better
I don't mind the spiders and ghouls
The reward means so much greater
I would rather be what I am not
To please my own kin
They ask me why I write the words that I do,
What are my intentions?
To be heard
In the seemingly inescapable noise of societies chaos and noise pollution,
My heart sunk to my feet and I don't think there's enough
blood running through my body for me to even think.
Like a fool, I thought I could store the memories of you hidden in a box
locked away
deep,
I look outside my window I see a man
This man is your average man, yet he is not
this man is holding hands with another man
He is kissing and hugging this man
I see people, people staring and laughing.
I was walking through school during lunch one day
when I heard at once a peculiarly snobbish voice saying
"I just don't understand it,"
and so you see, I simply had to turn and look.
It’s been a couple months.
The pictures are all gone.
But there's no delete button
For the pictures in my head.
Or the words that you said.
I’ve convinced myself that I’m over you.
I'm lost in the sense of who I am
and who I'm supposed to be.
My brain and heart work just fine
but they have the hardest time communicating.
Don't tell me how to feel because I've known
That is not how a lady sits
For she crosses her legs and you hang there with yours wide open
That is not how a lady laughs
For she giggles and blushes while you snort and smirk
That is not how a lady stands
In 7th grade, I knew I was gay
I didn't think it was normal
Not to be straight
So I cut up my skin
And took a lot of drugs
I drank a lot of alcohol
And gave lots of boys hugs
My History book calls it The Gay Liberation Movement
An entire 4 sentences
Wedged between a paragraph on the Students for Democracy
And a fat page on Woodstock
The life I see before me,
Is only a path of scrutiny.
If I could change one thing,
One thing only.
It would be the change where
Everyone is equal.
No hate, no fear, no decrimination.
As I wash my hands the cheerleaders change into their new uniforms
they don't know that I am washing my ring which takes more time than my hands
they snicker and call me queer
I was in love with the wayyou always knew what you wantedhow you walked like you were the most important person in the roomI was smitten with your tiny bodyand how feminine you sounded when you laughed
Sitting on the red bench
The busted, rusted, nasty school bench
The place I used to go when the teacher had enough of me
What an ugly word
Benched.
Sitting on the red bench
"we'll pray for youyou're just confused.it's just a phase.everyone goes through this."
goes through what, exactly?
My eyes have been wide openSince as long as I can remember."Love" was a word, an action, an emotionThat was second nature to me.
From the very first breath at fresh life she wasn't there.
It didn't occur until I relapsed that I was eight when she came back.
And they told me to love her even though she left me for the boys.
Everyday I live in discrimination
as a LGBT first generation
I only hide, deep down inside
calming down my long frustration
I sometimes feel the need to 'come out'
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, but they told me that it was against the dress code.
The little numbers that indicated "good behavior" on my grade report made me shudder, nails in the coffin of a complacent existence.
Hey, you’re fat, you’re skinny, you’re black, you’re gay
too tall, too short, too white, too tan; more than anything they’ll ever be.
You can’t be black without ghetto and baggy pants following your name?
I'm holding this girlHolding her in my arms tonightI refuse to fall asleepAnd give this moment over to my dreams
I wish I could tell you
about myself:
that I love the whole spectrum of gender
and that I feel so uncomfortable
in my own skin
that I want to peel it all away
and become new
Not all things are as easy as they seem,
A country of love, home of the brave, land of the free,
But that's not entirely true, in fact it's a good bit false,
We claim to love each other but it's not the right cause,
Straight girl walks in a crooked line
Straight to hell, ignoring the signs.
Nothing is straight under pressure,
Living under a forever broken spine.
Straight talk isn't so straight anymore,
Since a young age
I've been plagued
My mind set a certain way
By fairy tales
They taught me
That happily ever after
Always follows the end
And the princes marry princesses and that's it
I see people walking byAnd I wonder what it's likeDo they see what I seeWhen they look at you with meThen I think of what I'd sayIf they ever asked why I feel this way
She loved you,
Couldn't you see?
From left to right,
Her heart was set on you.
I write in awe,
But thankful I am.
You were what once filled her heart,
But now I am what love means to her.
sleeping with my mother in her wide bed,
the cold windows shed blue radiance
over our form.
her sturdy arms were flung over me;
here i was safe, comfortable
like in a velvet cage.
You sent me three text messages last night:
"I’m drunk as fuck over the toilet man"The nightmares beneath my skinthreaten to possess the shell ofmy body.I am nothing buta diseased corpse.
In the wind I flow,
anywhere is where I will go.
Oh-so, soft and slow.
Tell me who I am.
I am fragile as a lamb,
but mean as a ram.
In the wind I flow,
Dysphoria Sucks
These feelings can suck my non-existent dick
but shit
That just makes the dysphonia worse
doesn’t it?
My dysphoria peaks when my estrogen levels do
Free
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea
You swim so wild and you swim so free
Heaven above and the sea below
You see things with envy, through your holy,and pure eyesAnything different, you simply despise“One must live proper, a man and his wife”We’d love to live peacefully, hopeful and true
I never understood what was so different about LGBTQ people that they got treated so differently
I never understood why sometimes my uncle had to hide who he really was from society
these red viscous drops
that paints our banner's stars and straps
fake smiles and all these props
it spreads like chicken pox
and it cant be contained or put in a box
obvious to the trained mind
One day I’ll liberate my soul; my own mishaps have created the insecurities that soon will fade away into a cloud of dust.
US History. 5th hour.
I sat in the farthest left row, four seats back. You sat one row to the right, three seats back.
Why does
looking at her
inspire this
feeling
in my mind
between my thighs
that i can't control
Who I love should not define who
I am as a person.Why can you love her,
butI can’t?What evolutionary methods refuse to releaseme from this cycle.Where can I go for my rights
should not be a question.
I smile outwardly to you because I don't need your pity,
You see me as a happy, bubbly, and sparkling young woman.
Did you ever realize that beyond my smile my eyes are filled with stories I'll never say with my lips?
You fell through the sky
Hitting cement
To break into a new dimension
Where you can fly,
And now your body
And spirit exist
In different planes.
The chicken and the egg,
They lock you up
They take pieces of you
Inch by inch
Try to force you
Into silence
Into willful captivity
Caged birds cannot fly
But they can still sing
Do not let your song be silenced
See that girl sitting over there?
Rumor has it that in the ninth grade
she and a senior boy with a movie poster face and a Hollister body
went at it in the bushes at Sarah Something-Or-Other's 18th birthday party
I have a voice;
Strong and loud.
Can make people listen,
People in the crowd.
I know right from wrong;
I'm not sitting in a cloud.
I'll scream till you hear me;
Scream really loud!
Statements that stay behind closed doors, they stay in the room
Hover above your head
Seep into your mind fall into your river of thoughts
Sink deep into your conscious
Straying off to your emotions
I look back at the few years in my life and I imagine what it would have been like to NOT have gone through what I did to become the person I am today.
Mistreated.
Abused.
Living in confusion?
I know who I like.
She, her. She, her.
Keeping to myself.
I am judged by the judged,
I am strangled by religion.
Beat me up and break me down.
I am still alive.
Love is love
“Gender doesn’t define love.”
Why is it people judge what they don’t understand?
Homo, faggot, dyke, queer!
Out of all the pain we mostly hold in fear.
We endure and we take all we can.
I rather be called handsome than beautiful
I rather be called he than she
And i rather you say his than hers
Not miss but sir
you don't know how it feels
How it feels to feel this hurt
(poems go Love, a feeling, a sentiment, a knowledge....
I love her.
Her scent. Her feel. Her touch.....
She awakens me, and frightens me, as she lies next to me.
My hand through her her hair.
How would you feel walking down the street?
Minding your own business just being a teen
When a group of people behind you come to attack
Only because in their eyes you’re a “fag”
Luke
and Emily
and Zoe and John,
and Josh and Mira and Rabia,
and Jane, Rose, Mary, Helen and Radha,
and Jyoti, Michelle, Cait, and Brittany,
and Tyrone and Jenny and Lalainee,
and Matt and Ellie,
To sit back and watch
That is not how I do it
I stand up and say aloud
I am who I am
A gay man
I do not hide anymore
I do not let words define who I am
I stand amongst the crowd
my fingers fit consummately in between his and when i rest my head on his chest it rises and falls in a perfect rhythm i feel closer to him then i have ever felt to anyone else and oh the things his mouth and hands create they remind me of what it
There are people under the steeple
Who can’t keep their eyes off the peep-hole.
Why are their minds so weak and feeble?
It’s misunderstood, so deem it evil.
Mr. Man sits in Congress so regal,
Those eyes we see
We walk down the isle
All I can have is a simple smile
I know all the hostility we create
It does no matter
I still have her
All LGBTYQ
We All Love You.
They say we are equal.
Why the bullying?
Do you think it's fun?
Is it satisfying?
The way you treat them?
They say we are equal.
My rights are my rights/ got infinite time to put up a fight/ going through the system/ listen to your mther respect your father/ dont speak out/ dont stand tall/ fit the mold of the kid that will work till they get to old/ my dream job unattain
