anorexia eating disorders healing freedom
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An apology Letter to My Body
Dear body,
I am sorry
For once hating your small Asian eyes
And your mildly yellow skin color
because everyone around you was white
Ana first walked into my life like a storm.
Appearing suddenly out of a clear blue sky and just as quickly, I was reborn.
Dear Ana Rexia,
Hello, it's me, Maddie; your long time friend or, more accurately, long time slave.
I'm writing this letter to say I think it's time we ended our relationship.
Dear Destroyer of Me,
You think the world's bleak
and your glasses, tinted gray.
You engulf me, make me weak
so there's naught I can do but stay.
You consume the joy I find
They sit with stomachs rumbling and talk about how they eat, They sit with smiling faces and cry under their sheets, They sit with silent voices and scream inside their heads, They sit with normal people And wonder how, oh how? They sit and stand,
Five pounds and 6 ounces
Sick and yellowed
Hospitalized during Christmas
Elementary school now
Crying because I couldn't fit into Bobbi Jack tees
I didn't fit into anything
I don’t know when it all started.
And I didn’t know it started with a lie.
But what I do know,
Is that my best friend, Ana, controls my life.
