binge eating disorder
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What am I?
a balloon, stretched taut
over a fauct and filled
til bulging then filled
and filled some more
Like a teddy bear, stuffed
with cotton until the seams
burst
It grows from, "Are you hungry? Want some more? " to
"You've ate all that? You're getting more?" to
eating in silence, only when you're alone,
eating to the point of sickness.
The sun is spinning
as I
step out the front door.
My hair.
greasy.
Like slivers of dried fruit,
it falls.
Shattered,
Into millions of glittering fragments,
The last remnants of the dream I held onto so fiercely
I watched it fall,
Even before it happened,
That wobbling self-fulfilling prophecy
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask
it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share
Too fullToo empty,I'm all dried up,these bones feel heavy I can't breathe,I can't think,I can't even talk,I don't know what's come over me I'm a slave to a vice,it's killing me,I often think
I have an addition problem, I must admit.
1 means one more, and 2 is spelled t-e-n.
30 is basically twenty-nine,
And anymore feels like shit.
But this is not a decrypting test,
Just one more
one more bite
Just one more
one more bite
and one more
and one more
NO more
Stop it! I can't hold anymore!
Let me be!
The fall of eighth grade the leaves
changed their glorious colors
and I was diagnosed with overwhelming loneliness.
(poems go here) The fall of eighth grade the leaves
changed their glorious colors
and I was diagnosed with overwhelming loneliness.
You know that thing?
The thing that nobody talks about?
Making yourself puke?
Yeah
I do that
It hurts
It burns
It destroys your teeth
But what they forget to tell you
In health class
Recovery Is Possible
That's what they keep telling me
I don't know how to believe it
When I've had this eating disorder
For almost a decade
But I know
I'm sick of it
I'm sick of the being sick
Ana
Anorexia
Anorexia nervosa
Ana
My friend
My best, closest friend
You're there for me
When I need you
You whip me into shape
You love me
I can tell you do
