binge eating disorder

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What am I? a balloon, stretched taut over a fauct and filled til bulging then filled and filled some more Like a teddy bear, stuffed with cotton until the seams burst
It grows from, "Are you hungry? Want some more? " to  "You've ate all that? You're getting more?" to eating in silence, only when you're alone,  eating to the point of sickness.   
  The sun is spinning as I step out the front door. My hair. greasy. Like slivers of dried fruit, it falls.
Shattered,  Into millions of glittering fragments,  The last remnants of the dream I held onto so fiercely   I watched it fall, Even before it happened, That wobbling self-fulfilling prophecy  
having an eating disorder means wanting everyone to know and no one to ask it means accidentally leaving your lunch at home and proudly telling friends no thanks when they offer to share 
Too fullToo empty,I'm all dried up,these bones feel heavy  I can't breathe,I can't think,I can't even talk,I don't know what's come over me  I'm a slave to a vice,it's killing me,I often think
I have an addition problem, I must admit. 1 means one more, and 2 is spelled t-e-n. 30 is basically twenty-nine, And anymore feels like shit.   But this is not a decrypting test,
Just one more one more bite Just one more one more bite and one more and one more   NO more Stop it! I can't hold anymore!  Let me be!   
The fall of eighth grade the leaves changed their glorious colors and I was diagnosed with overwhelming loneliness.
(poems go here) The fall of eighth grade the leaves changed their glorious colors and I was diagnosed with overwhelming loneliness.
You know that thing? The thing that nobody talks about? Making yourself puke? Yeah I do that It hurts It burns It destroys your teeth But what they forget to tell you In health class
Recovery Is Possible That's what they keep telling me I don't know how to believe it When I've had this eating disorder For almost a decade But I know I'm sick of it I'm sick of the being sick
Ana
Ana Anorexia Anorexia nervosa Ana My friend My best, closest friend You're there for me When I need you You whip me into shape You love me I can tell you do
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