GLOW-UP GROW UP SCHOLARSHIP SLAM
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The gentle tiptoe of feet down the hall,
My eyes opening, morning has come,
Creep down the hall with back pressed tightly against the wall,
What is this? Do my eyes decieve?
A little person sits across from me
framed by the wall
Hands can't find a place to rest
and lips poised to speak.
Walking through this springtime land
Full of dark woods and fields
Where daisies grow and lilies stand
By running brooks that laugh and reel
I live my whole life
on top of the game
my grades were just the same
I try the best
and ace my test.
distractions?
when I'm
working on fractions
my mind clears out
Tying my shoe:
Not something I used to do.
Flying to work:
An adulting task with cash as a perk.
The value of a dollar:
A bit of knowledge I learned to accept.
It’s 2017
I don’t belong here.
This town is trapped in a white bubble.
I am trapped here
In this school
In this house
In my head
Everyone looks the same
Like there is only one way to be
she kept walking away
from all the noise
trying,
for just one second
to give her head a
moment of silence.
but the problem arose
time and time again,
A stranger knocked upon my door
I went to run away
To hide upstairs inside my room
Until they’d gone away
My glow upTo a grown upWasn't a gradual growIt was the involvement of a stormOne that I couldn't controlI was pushed into a situationFull of so much frustrationBetween multiple parties
once upon a time
i showed my age by holding up this many
i wanted to be an astronaut or a doctor
i was afraid of everything
but had an unwavering curiosity.
Growing Pains
When young I thought of life as sweet and kind,But since then I've been faced with growing pains.A life of innocence, I've left behindExchanged for all that growing up contains.
A little version of myself,
scrawls words under "Dear future me" on a post it,
hides it behind a frame,
tries to forget it exists.
A bigger version of myself,
reads the words on that post it,
One day you’re walking through your house,
the only home you’ve ever known,
pacifier and blanket in hand-
not knowing you’re a seed just waiting to be blown.
You’ve moved out and are in college
it started when i was little.
no one believes me,
but
i remember.
i remember
the first moment i wasn't able to breathe,
the first time i thought about death,
"Grow up!"
Even the shadows seem to scream
echoing thoughts
of teachers,
of friends,
of family,
of me.
My Mother was never here, she hoped I can understand.
If only she knew the pain and troubles she’s left us in our hands.
Raising 2 at the age of 10, with ever no luck left in sight.
The Door…
Always that Door…
Taunting, chilling, mocking.
Heart racing, hands sweating, panic-stricken.
Handle turning, hand on my back, gentle but firm push, through the Door, closing click.
From the day I was conceived
I was told I was protected
Set in a little bubble
A child so Reserved
So shy and so mellow
I realized I was grown up
When I learned to apply makeup
And when I went through my first break up
There were a lot of things that molded me
Into everything I wanted to be
I was 14 and pregnant, and didn't even know
As soon as I found out, I was about to explode.
A freshman in high school, still barely a kid,
"Is she going to finish high school?" was the new bid.
Grown-ups aren't as old as they seem
I know people who are older yet still younger than me
Regardless of age, grown-ups are mentally dry
Many will claim that they're not that kind of guy
Grown-ups aren't as old as they seem
I know people who are older yet still younger than me
Regardless of age, grown-ups are mentally dry
Many will claim that they're not that kind of guy
Beliefs of masculinity
Filled my head;
Drowned my creativity
And left me for dead.
Fueled by tradition,
It was society’s mission
To restrict my expression;
And keep me misled.
I remember always being there for everyone
I remember holding onto fake friend
I remember holding onto people not worth my time
I remember holding onto people friends who didn’t bother checking up on me
When I was young I used to look up to
many things; clouds, the stars, and up at you.
You towered over me when I was small,
but now we’re even. After all I
Five.
Disneyland, princesses, and stuffed animals.
Ten.
Elementary school, firends, and drama.
13?
High school. Sports teams. Classes.
15?
Fear... Judgement... Silence...
17...
To all the mermaids
at the ocean floor
in corral cities
still living with their parents, haunted
Dear birth, you are a mere 19 years away but still unseeable.
The only moment where I was able to be anything I could imagine.
Gosh, I can only imagine how beautiful I was when I first bloomed.
I remember always holding on to everything.
I remember holding onto my dad.
I remember holding onto my first boyfriend even when he begged me to let go.
I remember holding onto a friend that wouldn't text back.
She was chained by the prejudice surrounding her, ignorance being her saving grace
This little girl, of age five, was stripped of her innocence
In the warmth of her arms, I was safe
Her words with their reassuring ways.
Until oceans rose with suffocating waves
Rained down with the scary truth of today.
Nothing will ever feel right anymore
In the world of white houses, red doors, and white picket fences,
I was there,
Black girl in the suburbs living her best life,
Always taught to work twice as hard as other students because...
I'm sorry
Is what I want to say to you
Remember when we strolled around the town
and bathed in the waving shade of trees
We were so small then
and the world was small too
A Sleepover Invitation
Where we planned to stay up all night
But the air was cold so we got in bed
I can remember wishing I had lighter skin
Ashamed that my melanin didn’t fit in
Her
Ivory skin
Tulip lips
Seafoam eyes stared at me
When I was little I drew a picture.
Depicted was a far away future.
In that picture I drew a profession,
which I don’t believe would have left much impression
I have a full set of teeth
And their roots run deep
So I am in tune with their needs
And their pain tortures me also-
In a way they do not understand
I have a full set of teeth
I’ve never seen such grey in her eyes before.
Where did the sun go? That spark that I so deeply admired?
Who is it, what was it, that made her go dark?
I am Leslie.
The city of angels is my home,
I like going around to roam.
My sign is the ram,
I like doing things with a bam.
I am a bookworm,
A much older boyfriend
A heart full of sorrow
No idea I would be better tomorrow
A broken heart teaches you a lot
Not all relationships will last
That's why ours is now in the past
A much older ex
There’s nothing you can do to stop it. It will happen with or without you.
Eleven years all on your own. Well, just you and those other two.
Brother! Sister! Twins! Brother! You’re the oldest sibling now!
On to the next place
she was on to the next mistake
another man who promised her the world.
As her dreams came crashing to a halt did she wonder what would become of me?
I packed my bags
and got on the plane
the same plane
that had carted me across the world
five years prior
I thought my childhood was ending then
ripping me away from what was familiar
I felt it in the wind knotting my hair.
I felt it as my eyes squinted to the sun.
I felt it as the radio played
And the air blew on my face.
I was in control
Of life, fate, and death.
Nothing can beat Knowing yourself
91 years old
I Know I Know I Know I'm in good Health
Depression could never swallow me
I feel like the lottery
You should be blessed you played your numbers
I glow and grow when I learn new things
Like navigating new places
I learn to live and mingle making friends
And bonding with new friendly face
Everyone will pay attention to hip new trends
Sadness
The emotion I felt when I heard the news of the divorce
I knew it was inevitable but still
Longing for a family, I hoped
Looking at my siblings I knew
Growing up I had to do
I thought I had it all figured out until that test hit me like a ton of bricks.
I now had two lives to care of at the age of 20.
Mama, you need to grow.
You looked to me for care, guidance and all the answers to the world.
If there is something I hate,
It will be change
News are told
Knew it would come but not so soon
Go pale, wonder where the past years gone
Ones where no care was given
quiet
is how i remained
as she told me
she wanted
to die
still
is how i stood
When I was ten I learned of ends.
I moved away from my best friends.
My eyes were dry, they said "goodbye"
That was the hottest day in July.
Since then I have made my amends.
Do you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?
Do you remember the child you used to be?
So innocent and carefree...
"If you were to write a letter to your younger self, what would you tell them?"
This question has been asked of me at every milestone
but what would happen if you just time-capsuled a note for later.
Hearts are not malleable
Naturally. They rage and fight
and burn, for all to see.
But Life comes, and views them and says,
"Come, let us take of this material
and mkae something good."
Stepdaddy never showed up
for my birthday party
even though Momma called.
He didn’t show up at the
hospital when Grandpa
couldn’t estimate my carbs.
He never showed up again
the growing pains won't disappear,
because we stopped growing.
they aren't going to end,
just because we aren't forced,
to eat broccoli anymore,
or smushed peas out of a can.
I asked my mom why people could'nt get along
She told me the world was pain
For the birds and the bees won't respect each other
although they were told to love
For the skies and seas envied each other
When I was young
I had no fears,
I had a happy smile
and no tears,
My friends grew up
and I did too,
and I realized I had
much more to do,
Grades became essential
Just four more minutes, four more minutes of hopeless dreams. Dreams that will never wake, dreams that may never break. All I ask for is these four, to think and see dawn rise. These four minutes, I want as my prize.
A family member, a friend, a cousin
Alone, desperate, looking for a place to lay her head
A job, a home, a bed
KASEY
A lie, a betrayal, a death
The kind of death that creeps into your veins and lives there
A family member, a friend, a cousin
Alone, desperate, looking for a place to lay her head
A job, a home, a bed
KASEY
A lie, a betrayal, a death
The kind of death that creeps into your veins and lives there
I could no longer order off a kid’s menu at a sea resort
Now that I was ten
It seemed almost tragic then
To have my childhood cut short
Never to be seen again.
I did not know who I was
There were things I enjoyed
But none took up much more than my peripheral-
I was fixated on how and when I would leave.
One day, he walked into my room-
to the girls who just turned 18
don't be a dumbass
that 24 year old isn't in love with you
especially if he saw you at age 16
and said "i guess i'll wait"
he didnt want to watch you mature
I have never been able to say the words out loud.
But I definetly know without a doubt, my uncle is gone
He left in what seemed like the blink of an eye.
A suprise visit the week before Turkey day
where to start
where to place the blame
where did i stop being a kid
maybe it was when my fifth grade teacher told me
i couldnt wear shorts skirts because the boys would look,
I woke up this morning
And I was in need
I looked at my sheets
And found that I bleed
Sister, Sister
Who is so rad
Would you mind handing me a pad?
They didn't tell me it would be like this.That days of freedom would be drowned out by days ridden with anxiety.I knew it was gone for good, the confidence found in innocence.
One, Two
I tripped over your shoe
Three, Four
I stayed there on the floor
Five, Six
Next to a collection of sticks
Seven, Eight
It's getting late
Nine, Ten
Life used to feel like a game.
Fun.
Endless.
Magical.
But the more you learn, the more freedom you receive.
Open.
Endless.
Terrifying.
A cold winter's morning
And there stood I
Facing my future
Eye-to-eye
My rose-colored glasses
Had lenses shattered
My destiny uncertain
My dreams tattered
I am seven when I learn the world is not fair.
One day at my summer day camp, we are all able to tie-dye shirts
and buy snow cones
from a colorful truck that lets you pour your own flavors.
Trying to relax on the night shift
I put up the sign, it says we’re closed tonight, nice and bright
But they keep knocking at the door
Can’t they read the sign?
hello, are you the one who’s gone astray?
are you where you need to be?
have you talked with Him today?
no? so, why talk with me?
...spaces hold us back sometimes.
when I'm alone, I can be found.
no spaces or people to confine me.
define, home.
often times my body doesn't move,
my head is caged,
The hand I first grabbed within the firstfew moments of my life,The hand I first held into within my firstfew stepsthe hand I held when crossing the street,the hand I held when I was afraid,
A cold December evening
Cold, yes, but warm.
A communion of scattered siblings and their makers
Rejoicing in the scent of toddies and cinnamon.
Gifts are exchanged,
Reminders of devotion and gratitude.
To want is not to need;
or is it?
Is what you crave necessary for your being?
Sixteen.
Love. A powerful drug.
Mind altering, overwhelming emotion.
What is more important,
Life changed in a blink of an eye for me
From paying for ice cream from the ice cream man
To paying some bills to keep me afoot
I went from having nap time in my class
I know the world doesn't revolve around me
but nobody sees the things that I see
no one feels the pain I so often breathe
push others away, they'd never believe
of the pain that I so often breathe
September
By Kyrie Writes
Oh September
Do you remember how the world was colorful?
The sun was blinding
The days were long
When I was 6, I was told to wear my scariest costume for Halloween day at school
And for once, my parents wanted to spoil me,
So while everyone at school became witches or skeletons or furries
Cheyanne Smith
Bye Santa
(Ballad)
Everyone has their climax
What a long night it was
Childlike joy cries
Kill my belief in Santa Claus
To strangers I am shy,
That’s true I don’t say much.
To my friends I am reliable,Someone they can always trust.
Unborn and already
A path has been chosen
By those that are not them -
To become another cog
In the inescapable machine that is society.
She wonders why she feels this way;
Living in the shadows of her pain.
Why do they ignore her daily?
Is this a sign her efforts are failing?
Surely someone has answers for her;
Alzheimer's.
The diagnosis came my freshman year.
My grandfather.
One of the hardest things I've had to hear.
I taught him all the things,
that he first taught me,
how to play a round of cards,
When you look at me, what do you see?
I'm a girl who's full of Humanity.
I'm someone who fights for what's right,
And does no harm so I can sleep at night.
Do you see who I am? Do you really see,
Beautiful black child
Repeat your name until it rolls off the tongue like light rolls off the sun
Bright is the spirit of innocence within you
what if your world was ripped apart?
Everything you know is ripped from you?
This happend when my father came back from over sea's when i was 4
when my dad would beat me and my 3 year old brother.
Little Me Would Be So Proud
To See Big Me Being So Happy
Little Me Would See
Big Me Making My Dreams Come True
Little Me Wouldn’t Give Up So Easy
When She Sees Big Me, Loving Herself
Our bones rot and decay
But not yet for me.
As I grow older,
I consider my mortality.
Time goes by and we don't care to acknowledge.
Too busy trying to grow up
And ship ourselves of to college,
A train don't seem to go that fast,
from far away.
Perhaps I should stand back a bit further.
Wouldn't want it to catch up.
When I was young,
It was gray,
Mostly,
Normal,
Or at least I thought,
What is a neutral feeling?Truly, I didn’t know,
A piece of paper
All that is left
At the end of the long-wrought road.
Four years of memories
Four years of work
Four years of teachers
Four years of friends
Your sister can’t know –
Don’t confuse the kid.
She probably knows already
You don’t like boys.
Don’t confuse the kid –
Sexuality is not fluid.
You don’t like boys
The Earth looked at him
And asked, "Did you have fun?"
He looked to the ground, and
said, "What have I done?"
The clouds moved aside and
Revealed where she cried.
His daughter on a dirty couch,
I used to think I knew everything
And then I turned 15
I used to think I had it all
And then I turned 16
I used to think the world was mine
And I learned that was true
When I turned 17
Let's just say
although I'm scared
we're here today
but my bodies snared.
Little by little
my mind adjust
I don't know much
is this enough?
I say to myself
Within my soul live plenty sparks of fire.
You give a warmth so deep that flames arise,
No risk, no danger, so why not admire?
You change your mind. “Intense” no longer wise.
Big Nose, I tend to be the center of attention even
when I try to hind behind the big lenses of the world.
If I didn't try to look like the rest of the noses I was made fun of.
Trusting was easy.
No one could hurt me,
No one could not suddenly hate.
A person that is skeptical,
Who makes others earn what should be given
Tears of a Father.
Cousins I love like a brother.
Heart wrenching agony.
Suicide...a tragedy.
I, just a young who lost his uncle.
Became a man in a week.
Tears of a Father.
Cousins I love like a brother.
Heart wrenching agony.
Suicide...a tragedy.
I, just a young who lost his uncle.
Became a man in a week.
The moment I knew I went from child to womanWas when man entered my mind and set about eternal destructionI found peace only when the fire was controlled by meBut it wasn’t me, it wasn’t meThe real moment I knew I went from child to womanWas when
I
Once
Had
Wings.
And they were beautiful.
And with them
I would soar
High
Above the ground.
i’d never thought i’d make it far,
the path was out of sight;
when meaning was unreachable,
i’d just turn off the light;
my mind would spin in circles,
and i did not try to cope;
We entered the warm, humid hospital room,
almost the whole family was there.
This only happens on holidays,
or devastating and mysterious days like this.
You know, You know
when you know
you grow everyday
but you know
when the grow
is so slow
its as its no more
it feels like it no more
you know when you see
things differently
Not supposed to be this young
Not supposed to be unhappy
Not supposed to consider suicide
But I was broken.
Supposed to be a happy child.
Supposed to live life without fear.
Not supposed to be this young
Not supposed to be unhappy
Not supposed to consider suicide
But I was broken.
Supposed to be a happy child.
Supposed to live life without fear.
Hidden faces show no imperfections
Closed mouths get no attention
so I'll keep hidden
and I'll stay silent
Until I grow just a little bit older
One of my desires is that those insecurities,
So rusted and worn they scarcely show displease.
New school,
butterflies,
bright-eyed,
i'm just a teen.
SAT prep,
long nights,
car drives,
i'm just a teen.
third year,
FAILED TESTS,
