adult
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There were lots of folks at the town fair,Some kids begging mom for a dollar,And refugees on a dusty road without a fare;Just roaming about in a horrid squalor.
Is that really us?
What happened to our graphic tees?
The white tube socks?
Do we always cuff our jeans now?
How do you make it look that neat?
We never really do neat
Or I guess we never used to.
He awakens to a day of hopeafter happy day of birthattended by smiling parents proudwho know his priceless worth.He awakens to a day of hopelying restless on his bumafter one move that surprises him
The aura of you has the potency that It could thaw the snowBlissful flowers Have bloomon the Land of My Heart
Well Now It’s Clear That I’m... “ Too Cold “... !!!
To Be In Zones With These Industry Ho’s... !!!
Yup Sisters And Bros And Those Who CONTROL Who Gets To Be KNOWN... !!!
Same attitude but different dayI'm over exaggerating on nothingSpeak my peace; Body in flamesThought I was just copingCalled myself being smooth on wavesNot knowing it would not get me anywhere
When I arise to the occasionIt feels just that amazingHold me close because you're staying
No better feeling of those soft kissesDon't have to ask or know what I'm missingSecretly planning, always on a mission
She went to the park today, like she does everyday
Her hair is in pigtails, her hair is finally long enough for them
She asked to go to the zoo later, she loves those animals
Her smile can light up any room
So... Moving On ……………..
It’s Time To Go Beyond Corona Virus Songs...
Because Now I’m Inspired...
By Where I Belong In This World of Wrongs...
When you have nothing
You should always have family
That’s what they say.
Your family should have your back
And love you
For all actions logical or senseless, there are consequences.
And at times I'm offended and become defensive,
since this extensive, fundamental lesson is intended,
to be a comprehensive theory that is essential.
Tired eyes wander over foggy plains, unfocused but searching.
The overcast sky casts a dreamy gloom over a face with sunken sockets and dry lips.
I saw you there
At the renaissance fair
All alone
Churning milk into butter
I got down on my knees
And I said the Lord’s prayer
That you would be mine
In an hour
Becoming an adult is a funny thing.
It sort of sneaks up on you
From the depths of existence
Even though you’re aware of your childhood expiration date
The blazing star streaks across the sky
Life Stirring,
Soft-skin wrapped limbs
Reaching for the light
The clock strikes 12 and time begins
Growing.
Most may say that it relates to one's height,
but it's much more than what you can physically see with your sight.
Growing.
It leads to more maturity.
Every night I ate
Something new from my plate
Every night I sat at the table
While my mom slaved in the kitchen
Every night I sat at the table
And enjoyed the fruits of someone else's labor
I guess I'm a adult now
I've taken out a student loan
I've also made a savings account
I guess I'm a adult now
I'm saving up my money
And I've been quite frugal
I guess I'm a adult now
Looking up into a summer’s midnight sky is like gazing into a blanket of diamonds.
It’s beautiful and breath-taking…
Stars scatter across the endlessness like pixie dust.
I am only a child.
In the light I awaken,
in my mothers womb
in my mothers house
in my dirty hands in dirt.
In the dark I ponder,
in the office
in the papers filled with numbers
I remember like yesterday, the year 2002,
At three years old, there was so much I never knew.
I thought DisneyWorld was on a cloud in the sky,
In her eyes the world started off small and to her surpriseit was a sin to grow oldAge wasn't the purpose of her discovery, rather than the wisdom that came with no recovery
Swollen legs and chunks of lash glue covering my eyelids were suppose to be the problems after prom.
Instead, funeral arrangements and mournful phone calls to friends and our principal marked the day.
Her love is a warm and unconditional gift, I cherish her heart, knowing it’ll never shift. She kisses me goodnight and tells me goodbye, Her voice is my favorite lullaby. My heart ached when I had to leave, But I yearn for the phone calls that I
Since being grown up,
I read more now.
Not just for fun but,
to learn lore and how
this world is run.
This all began in 2015.
When Trump ran,
and I was eighteen,
Some days are just different than others,
Some are bright and clear
But sometimes you release the pain,
And shed a tear
Lately, I've been talking to God more often,
Asking him how I fit into all this,
How can I hate those who raised me, When I am their baby? And I know that they hurt me, But I have been learning, That they are people too, There's a bunch of fucking shit that they went through.
When you claim to not be a child, it's like
Saying you can breath underwater or see through walls:
Only a child thinks that.
But to say an adult cannot be a child
My mother carried me around the same way she carried her purse;
Right by her side, hanging off her shoulder.
The only catch- you can't be emotionally available to a purse.
Adulting
Adult is a four letter word.
It’s more dangerous than others
Because it denotes segregation
Between the old and young,
Her face lit up with a glow
Sparkles in her eyes
The great news she'd ever know
Is that she would be changing lives.
She knew that this was going to change it all
From her pockets to her qualities
I miss the dolls and trains and naps during the rain.
I miss the coconut lip gloss and Justice that made us look insane.
I even miss the Tumblr posts and Oovoo chats lasting all night long.
Long ago, as a child,
Life struggles were simple.
The struggle of not doing what I wanted.
What a surprise when I grew up!
Adults can do what they wish,
Feather light touches,
blink and they’re gone.
I used to watch flowers in the early Spring bloom,
unfurling the curl of their petals in a yawn
I was raised with all the correct tools
resources, books, experience.
Yet, I struggle.
Struggle to realize I schedule my own doctor's appointments,
swipe my own card at registers,
Pay for my own gas.
I no longer need my mom’s help
Phone bill and food all paid off by myself
Ordering at least three pairs of shoes
My mom now doesn’t have a single clue
Sitting at the edge of the warm, welcoming bed
Watch the shadows creep their way under to door.
Those fearful eyes, latching at their nonexistent movement
Not smiling at smiling me from the DMV.
Not watching an R without all of the PG.
Not even checking the squares of democracy.
I don’t know if I’ve changed for the better or the worse
but I’m not the same person that I’ve been.
I don’t know what I wanted
Do you ever just let your eyes wander,Let them sift along, searching for purpose?At once it appears, no time to ponder,On no account have I been so nervous.Nothing could fully prepare one for this;
Some days are like a haze
I start to realize that it was all a phase
Who I am today isn’t who I’ll be tomorrow
But “Everything happens for a reason”
It was the Thanksgiving of last year
I was with family and peers.
When my uncle came up to me and asked,
"Have you decided on your college yet?"
I'm a grown-up now.
And I do grown-up things.
Like pay my taxes, cry at night,
And wear engagement rings.
And I'm a grown-up now.
So I only watch the news,
I drown unfamiliar feelings,
(TW: Language)
I.
I’ve got all this shit settled in, populating between my temples
And it comes out in movements, like all the people I can’t handle meeting
(TW: Language)
I.
So I guess I get a little scared
When the phone doesn’t ring like it was just waiting for me to reach a point
I guess all sorts of shit comes up then
(TW: Language)
Welcome to the machine?
How about welcome to the street of need and inability, two things that should never have to be together
(TW: Language)
Well shit, I keep picturing lines discussing my intoxication and why I can’t remember the words I managed to string together discussing the tone of my latest endeavors
Halfway Outta High School
Frozen in time, lost in a drift
Preserved by strong resolve alone
As the wind blows you fail to shift
Instead of paper, you're a stone
I lack this constant qaulity
Kids divagate
Because they don't know direction of life
Young-adults developed
To find the direction of life
Adult discharge
Because they know the direction of life
The horizon doesn't seem too far,
The sun's heat gives me warmth,
Though I am so close,
It doesn't burn
Slowly, all my fears are melting away.
tryin' to figure out where I'm goin'
I got one door openin' and anotha closing
one chapta endin' and anotha beginnin'
niggas be trippin'
but I be spittin'
gettin' money like it ain't nothin'
on Tuesday Nov. 17, 1987
a motherfuckin' legend was born
never been weak but strong
never said I'm never wrong
but put some respect on my name
like the song
graduated high school in 2006
bobbin to the beat
it's Halloween time
trick or treat
it's show time
have a seat
cash rules
everything around me
C.R.E.A.M
playing games on the smartphone
bout to redeem
She was just sixWhen he told her to fixHis dirty desireRemove the heat of his fire
She was just nineWhen she was toldTo kiss him below the lineBy that gigantic old
Love needs a reason to stayI prompt, is this the only way?To make it more strong and deepThe first time, I might cry and weep
Face plant off the third floor The blood splatter paints a pretty picture of why he didn't matter And who's sadder the committer or his encouragers Such a shame he had no one around to feel his hurt
Fuck you...
One two on the mic let's start this flow
in my crib there lies a vast domain
some give props to the criminally insane
sugar is sweet as sweet as honey
He started with her legs.
Rising up like the sun before 7AM
Setting over his shoulders right before the sixth hour hit
He took his head downtown and began his art as if he was telling her that he loved her canvas and he meant it
He moved his hand
There are many times I've found to have defined me as an adult,
but I myself did not perceive the state of my affairs.
But the day I delivered my Athena
I seemed to grow the grayest of my hairs.
I simply visualize a place in'harmony...on my way home from work.
But these torns have grown over my'path, constantly... stepping into climax!
Editing my resume,
searching for the buzzwords,
what will leap off the page?
“Tell me something about yourself.”
Where to start?
I need a paycheck,
I toiled for four years writing essays,
Many things have conquered me
Who I am is not just what you see
I'm complex as can be
I've been knocked down by the stress of money
Trying to get through school ain't so funny
A rose-hipped girl with legs closed tight
Sits staunching an ochre river.
She’s sure of a weeping snake with teeth
Red sunk into her belly.
When you’re young, you’re invincible
There are no consequences
You drive too fast, slurp too many shots, and run faster than your legs want to go
So many people going away. So many people going separate ways. Long friends, having to make amends. Great memories; Now having to say goodbye. Trying to stay strong and not cry.
I grew up, expected to be an adult I went through rocks and stabs I know we all fought People watched as if I was a cast No one gave me a hand we all grew up we all went through the wet sand growing with all of my lumps and dumps No one can se
When you catch the black-eyed man’s black eyes on the station platform
and don’t think anything of it, because his eyes are only two in many
millions, maybe, or a thousand you’ve seen that day, only
a little bit darker
you heard, saw, and conqured
each nipple between lips
tongue helped to suckle
here the nudges came naturally;
tested both but no milk so sad!
Practically trained you have a field day
Singed by the warmth of fingers
Ravished with beauty of the soul
Textures form to invade illusions
Lifting aromas, ignite and burn
New stories of love in foreplay
Ebbed by the flow as honey drops!
Teenager, lonely and stressed
Teenager, busy and overwhelmed
Teenager, best days and worst days
Teenager, preparing and leaving behind
Adult, saying goodbye and saying hello
I am a child
Who needs toys, to know she’s loved, coloring books
Who loves her mom and dad, school, baby dolls
Who sees stickers, scraped knees, birthday parties
Who fears spiders, heights, time out
a heart beat is when the heart speaks
i guess it says a lot about you when you come around
a constant uproar as it pounds my chest
im lusting for your flesh im lusting for your best
Sometimes I wonder
How could I make a kite fly
Even when weighed down by a boulder
How could I make these diseased things happy
They want money and my everlasting plea to be their servant
When we were five, every day
was like a new present.
We were literally like kids on Christmas,
but every day was a holiday.
We get to see Grandma today.
We get to play with our new friend.
I still believe
in the Boogey Man.
His image has changed
throughout the years.
His claws are now stress,
digging into my skin,
pulling out my hair.
His eyes glow yellow,
Weeks and months and years
They say it all goes by so fast
But not when you’re waiting for something
Anticipating a day so far in the future, it seems like forever
What happens when that day comes?
I burned the American Flag.
Literally.
I burned the American Flag and I recorded it on video.
We are not Women. We Are not Ladies. If the only thing that makes up adults is our age, then we are adults. But we are not Grown Up. We are Girls. And we wont be made Women by Physical Coming of Age.
this morning tonight,
preparing to what is set forth,maybe destiny;
i speak to the light,
crying and weeping, unknowingly pressing forward hastily;
maybe one day i'll know, no; be
One thing that I would change,
would not to be for my life to be re arranged,
from bedtime stories, to a goodnight kiss,
these are the things that I really do miss.
Days go longer, without my father,
he counts the money in his wallet
the bills running through his cold hands
he imagines them
as her hands
she counts the freckles on her shoulders
her skin is cold
frostbitten cheeks and a red nose,
adorning each child's gleaming face
the first snow fall of winter
from being five pounds, with chinky brown eyes beset my brows, and being the size that one could hold in their palm,
the constant boohooing, throwing up, setting my teeth in your flesh, or merely kicking and screaming...
I have gone to school for many years,
What I have learned isn't exactly clear.
There were many teachers who taught me well,
English, math, science, and how to spell.
Mr. Care, he was the best,
My green eyes
Gaze against my nearly translucent skin,
Then flicker across buildings
Of mirrors and concrete,
With blurry lights,
As rainwater descends,
Before pelting my crimson coat,
This axe of our views hides quietly away
its blade rarely sees the light of day
These days no one can get the axe
The teachers abuse and swear
Some children find this case unfair.
The “big kids” walk into the room
I am a small nervous second grader
and my new reading buddy is from a fifth grade class
I am a pea and they are all bean stocks
Synergy
it must exist
My class mates, nor I
must choose not to resist
For all we have is this class
to express, elaborate, and hope it all last
I hope this semsester does not end to fast
Walk into class, look around, take a seat.
Preparing for a test, fighting the urge to cheat.
Teacher walks in without even a smile on her face.
Doesn't say good morning either, oh what grace.
He died.
Such a short sentence, not wordy
Not eloquent,
But what else can I say when someone mentions my dad?
Or asks, "what's your father do?"
Sometimes, I lie,
“So, this is it...” says my dad from the hall outside my dorm room.
The words hang like a streamer spanning the width of my door frame
separating college on one side from my childhood on the other,
Today he leaves me here;
I live my life trying to create such precious memories.
Living with all these people I thought were a friend to me.
Life is coming at you quick
There is no place to turn
College is upon you
Adult hood is upon you
Life - is upon you
Those days are gone
The days of sitting down at tables
French-fries in hand
