Teen
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Walking down the block
It's like any other day really
They say "Don't worry bout the guys strolling there"
"They don't do shit"
The laughs echoed causing silence to flee
and with it my peace as my tears became souvenirs
who were meant to be the ones of my blood
left me there to suffer in the grave of other women's lost hope.
Scent compelling and drawing me in
working had to find a way to your heart
trying to hide this like a fish swmming with no fin
if only I could buy love
darling, you'd be in my shopping cart
The monster underneath my bed
Sang me lullabies in the night
Which quickly turned to nightmares
And gave me quite a fright!
But as I got older
The rain falls, the ponds are filled, but sadness and gloom it brings.
I fell again, in what they call "love".
But this time is different, a kind of love i couldn't easily get over,
Blamed for the bottle
I'll never forget.
Blamed for the abuse
Hovering over me, reeking of the stench
Pouring out drunk love
At any moment it felt like this could be it.
All I could do was sit and listen.
When I was a child, I made a wish.
It was a stupid wish.
I didn't wish to have powers or be a hero.
or even to be liked.
Though i didn't have any of those things either.
I had wished to be remembered.
no one talks about how it itches.
it burns it stings it stains
theres little streaks of shame
on the back of my pillow case
as if I could hide it
when its that close to my brain.
Honey and tea can taste so sweetWhen you're hiding the cutsThat they'll never see
And my head is falling apart...I showed signs from the start...
it is impossible for me to put my love for you into words,
but i will always continue to try.
would adjectives be accurate?
maybe endless,
passionate,
intimate.
Find Another Way: Thomas Edison once said; "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.
My physical body aches
Terribly as it resonates through my bones like a chord plucked on worn acoustic guitar strings
I beg for the release of the metallic chains of my inability to see beyond the depths of my own soul
Every month you come to me,Every month I wait,Every month you beat the shit out of me,Every month I ache.
I’m going to tell you a story
Of a teenage girl,
Who,
Like many others her age,
Follows the same routine
Every single day.
School.
A pretty girl in the brightest of dresses,
She smiles bright and laughs loudly,
she hides in fright and cries quietly.
she met him first here, and he made her smile.
A pretty girl in the brightest of dresses,
She smiles bright and laughs loudly,
she hides in fright and cries quietly.
she met him first here, and he made her smile.
girl to woman, where does it begin?
how can we know which phase we are in?
in a woman, wisdom, in a girl, curiosity.
but in both, strength is a shared quality.
i find in myself in each new moment,
The water crashes over my body
and my ears are invigorated with its sensation:
It's cold in here.
I close my eyes.
I see colors and hues
Dripping.
Down.
Down.
Down.
I brag about my power
I rebel for no reason
I create dramas
I show my false self
I used to detest life. Sometimes I still do. It was deep yet shallow and still I could not find my place Above the waves
It's the little things that plague my mind.
Like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile
or the way you laugh after a bad joke.
The way your hand fit perfectly in mine
Butterflies in my headSay I'm okay
I wanna talk to youAll day
Running from my fearsThey say don't play
And I won't playIf you don't play
“There is no such thing as safe sex, since no one can create a condom for the soul.” -Jayce O’Neal
To think that we are here,
Connected pelvis to pelvis
By tubes and fluids
I can walk into an all-you-can-eat buffet,
and my brain will light up like a gambling addict's.
Numbers running in my brain,
neon signs floating above plates counting fat and carbs and sugar,
I got a messed up brain, messed up thoughts,
people say I'm fine, but I guess not.
My vision gradually gets darker,
and my heart feels like it just got shot.
I can feel my skin fall apart,
I wish I could live my whole life
Pressed against your lips
Drinking in your smell
Grabbing at your hips
a question most have
but none ask:
why suicide?
life has so much more to offer,
they say.
it gets better,
they promise.
All I hear is the blood pumping into my veinAn open cut, slit by my brainI don't scream outI deserve painI prefer myself this 5 years agoI was introduced To a monster in my own skin
I met a boy a late summer dayHe looked at me and refused to satWhat made him so unhappyHe's a blue boyCall him defensiveBut blue boy don't run from meThe help I give is for free
Thoughts of youSeeping throughI see anotherThey look like youI start to cryBut got to hideThe pain insideFrom losing youI beat myself Black and blueOver what I did and said
You're my sadness,
Also my happiness
You're my lover,
Also my enemy
You're my laughters,
Becoming an adult is a funny thing.
It sort of sneaks up on you
From the depths of existence
Even though you’re aware of your childhood expiration date
Me? growing up? Absolutely not, the idea was something I never thought would happen.
I enjoyed riding in the backseat of the car, closing my eyes and waking up at the grocery store or the car store.
Three years old I dreamed of being a veterinarian.
Six years old I made my first friend.
Nine years old I learned how to multiply and divide.
Twelve years old I realized how cruel others can be.
the night sky pours over us
like a cup of coffee
no cream
we lay on the grass
without a care in the world
in this moment
all we have is each other
and i've never been so fulfilled
The hard metal risers held the students,
Creaking under the large weight.
Onto the next song in the performance,
The conductor hastily turns on the mic.
He, in his strapping tuxedo, faces the audience,
How to live
I mean survive
in school.
1. Show up.
Show up to the first day of the rest of your life.
Show up to your future.
I'm happy
because I live in falsity,
i'm still happy
because I reject reality,
Stuck in my childhood,
My utopia
Forgot the fact that,
I had grown up
Someone, wake me up
Heartbreak,
It’s inevitable
No way around it
But the joy of the happiness
Before the pain
Is almost worth it
Life is long
Like a race
We have to run
We need to beat other runner
But what’s the purpose?
You don’t have to run
When you don’t know your destination
It’s okay to stop
When you're told the cock in your mouth makes youDirtyLewdDisgustingLike a serpent slithering into your bodyBurning your throatAnd your soul
You would feel ashamed, right?
S*x is human nature
Confiding in s*xWhether byP*rnO*rgiesOr just having it
It's all human nature
EveryoneExcept for a small but significant sumWants s*x
10
My first normal day in years
If you could call it that
I’ve been in and out of hospitals
With test and treatments and monitors and ivs
In the quiet of my closet I speak
And the words sound more like a cry for help
A plea for escape
Or at least for someone to turn the lights on
So tell me, are you as happy and free as you pretend to be?
Bright colors, sultry poses, and your boney, emaciated arms around your “besties”.
Skin stained by self tanner faces the camera,
i remember falling in love with you as if it happened yesterday
we had only met but you made me feel things
i swore i could never feel again
Hey there Adolescent!
Is life not making
Sense?
Any sense?
Are you trying,
And still need consent?
Have you been
Devoted,
Then Demoted?
Yet tried your
Best?
they say that nothing gold can stay
but what about the other metals seen as precious
in the eyes of man
you are my silver lining
my mind is spinning
with the same old thoughts
making another circle around the beaten track
of questions without answers
and fears without hope to quiet them
the man with eyes eons older than his smile told me that
we are different people all throughout our lives
but we must never forget who we used to be
i want you in or out
there will be no grey area this time
it is black or white
heartbreak or heart light
i am drowning
in words
i wish i could say
but, i cannot
it is why i wrote them
instead of spoke them
you demand that i push myself
all the while pushing me closer and closer
to the lip of the ledge
and i can’t help but think
of how just last week
why are you punishing me for not trying
for finally giving up the charade
when i was the only one playing the game anymore
you left me
I try to calm down.
This is fine.
I'm fine.
"Don't be sad," she says.
I'm not sad.
I'm scared.
Frustrated.
Confused.
She doesn't listen.
I'm fine.
I do it all: clubs, sports, school.
Everyone loves me.
I am not afraid.
I no longer panic at archery meetings.
Don't feel fear when I see your name.
You were my best friend
Or at least I'd like to pretend
But i guess every story has two sides
I remember that morning you were more than just my friend,
Rooms capture nothing
Without wallpaper
Coverless books
Dangle bare
Eroding the roots
Of cotton-bound truths
Are my braces that obvious?
The colors have to match my outfit
One day, he'll notice me.
Should I ask him to the dance?
Boys are the worst!
Did you hear about Anne?
Don’t tell me pretty lies,
With that look on your face,
Because although you are beautiful
The ugly never fades.
There’s beauty in your eyes,
And there’s strength that’s in your arms,
Dear Demon,
You know who you are.
You know what you have done to me.
Yet it does not bother you any,
but as for me
Dear Almost lover,
I'm writing this because I never got closure.
It's been awhile since we've talked
and I think it's time for a disclosure
and I don't want to be mocked.
Dear Mom,
Or Pam, I suppose.
Enabling the lowest of my lows.
Do you remember me? Is it the memory or the idea?
Cheap wonder bread and ham, cool kids who couldn't care less.
dear blue jeans,
let me explain.
i know this time has been difficult for you—
you, punctual and monotoned,
ten years with a dusty crooked-smile contractor
who wore you like the period
Acting okay.
Asking for forgiveness,
Always pretending.
Broken heart.
Bridges burnt.
Baby, wait please.
Crying for hours.
Cutting off everyone.
Can you ever forgive me?
I stand outside.
Outside of the boundaries you set for me.
Why am I outcasted from this "perfect world".
Yet, if this world is so perfect,
why is anyone outcasted?
I'm tired.
Tired of feeling alone.
Dear Jackson,
Picture this, soft.
thin arms
dainty wrists
baby pink
a soft pink, the kind that glows on the skin, and grows in the cheeks.
I waited for you to fall into my arms.
Instead, I just felt you slipping away.
-expectations
dear heart of mine,
why can’t you decide
who you do and do not like
why did it take you so long
to realize
Blood rushed down his arm
Just like tears rush down her face
There's fire in his eyes
And an overdose in her veins
Lord help these children, they've dot so much more to live for
2mac,
When you can no longer breathe,
When you have no one else to rely on,
When you lose sight of the surface,
Float.
i don't know how to tell you this in person, so i'll do it in a poem.
had a crush on you all this time, while i've been telling everyone else, "no, i don't know him."
i'm sure it's teen love but this time it feels so real;
Jesus, please guide my way
Show me how to live Godly day by day
Please show me how to love my friends and family
And for all my wrongs, please forgive me
You're my Friend, so I’m glad to hold Your Hand
vested in veins
spreading like spider webs
of blues
of black
they say rumors spread like wildfire
which is only true
because they engulf
homes and hearts
Mom:
You used to always say to me
you are gold.
I never understood what you meant
but being older now,
I realized
you would say these words
when I forgot how precious I was
he touched my neck
and his fingers
ran all the way down
to my collar bone
but with such grace
and love
that it didn't feel
wrong
it felt
cleansing
as if I had never
Hi
I'm 18 years old
Or should I say 18 years young
But old enough for to know my rights and wrongs.
It doesnt mean I always do what's right.
She confesses her love
And covers her mouth
Just to make sure
The snake won't slip out
She embraces the change
And tugs on her sleeves
I was in love with you Closed my eyes and dipped myself backwards knowing the enemy laid beside meI was in love with you And the way you talked about blue skies and how gravity tears us apart. I was in love with youWith the way you leaned over an
They told me that I would not pass,
He told me that I would never understand,
She told me that nobody would ever like me,
But look who's wrong;
Today I passed my final exam,
Dear Lord, I'm higly stressed,
Please help me on this test
Amma do my best and let you handle the rest
Dear Lord, please help me on this test
Because if I don't pass, I'll be a mess
Lord, feel my chest
Another college party, same faces, same games,
Another night she wouldn’t remember, not what she said, not any names,
Her red hair was shiny, and her lips were glossed,
You’re different from anyone I have ever met,
After all that I have done and the mistakes I’ve made, you’ve never left,
You’re beyond special to me, partly because we were best friends first,
Love is a very powerful word,
But today we toss it around carelessly because the lines are blurred,
Don’t tell me you love me when you don’t even know my middle name,
We Got locked that dayIn top floor of our coachingDispersed late after 8On that busy Thursday evening
I liked it when you told me I would be your princess on a pedestal
I liked it when you told me life with you was never dull
I liked it when you told me I was perfect
I liked that I was the one you picked
The greatest thing in life can bring the most happiness; yet the most fear, and that's love,
Love is an enjoyable feeling of life, and is what makes us closer; but sometimes love can shatter your heart and shaken your soul,
This is the time of our lives that everything changes inside. Left is now right, day becomes night I feel it inside that I am not alright. Save me now, save me now take me down the right path, of endless glory that I will never give back.
The horizon doesn't seem too far,
The sun's heat gives me warmth,
Though I am so close,
It doesn't burn
Slowly, all my fears are melting away.
i gave you a chance
and you took it
you made me feel beautiful
and wanted
for the first time in a long time
i craved your attention
i caught myself in a trap i had been in before
Isn’t it Ironic?
It’s sometimes overwhelming having so much to say,
Thoughts filling your head all moments of the day,
Even silence is ecstasyYour heartbeat in my ear, a steady drum.Monumental or minimal calamitiesUntil my breathing levels,your fingers comb my hair. Your hand in mine, a rushed societal defianceBut you are unabashedly in love.Fierce pride in your
I lay in the bed
My eyes swollen with tears
Completely restless
And drowning in fears.
I look myself in the mirror and I see a "tall lonely depressed girl."
Well, not really.
My friends see that.
They don't see all of the struggles that I go through.
I am a host for a parasite,
A parasite whose disease has sucked on my mind,
Leaching my hope,
Leaching my sanity,
Raping me of all personality.
With every passing season,With the changing of the tides,When the sun rises and sets,When the old has gone,and the new has comeand our present now long past.
We were kids turning pages,
in a couple year long love story
and it ended pages ripped,
i'm sorry.
My starry eyes didn't last, dear diary,
I kept them waiting, then left them
Daddy, I don't know why you couldn't just choose me. Why'd you'd rather get high and hurt mommy and on top of that lose me. I don't know why it's so important when I'm dying to see you, in mommies belly, I just started moving.
You caught your breath. Your eyes shifted downwards and upwards and all around the room, as if you were looking for the truth. You pushed your back against the cold wall. You hesitated.
Why does he give me false hope?
Why did he say “I Love You?”
Why does he make me feel not good enough?
Can’t he see I’m fragile?
I simply visualize a place in'harmony...on my way home from work.
But these torns have grown over my'path, constantly... stepping into climax!
This Little girl is, terrified of the outside world, today she is going to her first day of high school. She wonders if people will judge her? Everyday’s the same for her she fights to find her way in the outside world.
Three hundred sixty-four days plus one
I was a different version of myself
17. 100
The old system consists of tired, old buttons
To be, to be a tree
There are many trees, trees are tall and trees are small
There are many trees that are smaller than others miles and miles they grow
Dose any one ask, how do you get there?
Lose all hope,
Take it in,
Just forget everything.
Music in one ear,
The world in the other,
Just start typing.
A year ago, my mom was diagnosed with cancer for the second time.A year ago, I found out I was moving from North Carolina to Illinois.
Still and silent
I float in the deep blue,
the ocean is my master
and I its slave.
Heels, check.
Face, check.
Glasses – better leave those here – check.
Green, lush grass, humble in its tone
Bleeding skies, sunrise, the sun wakes up and moans
Brown trees, green leaves, warm breeze, it's here
The perfect day, to wash away, all stress, anxiety, and fear
careless yet care ridden
your lips dripping with honey
so sweet you’re rotten to the core
me, innocent
innocence
Highschool
A word that has the power
To make its victims cower
And to leave others smiling with their fond memories.
A new beginning
I saw it as a chance
To make them take a second glance
This year,
love has so many more meanings than the last.
Love takes up more of the space in which emptiness lived until now.
This year, love can be definable,
or not.
I am hiding under a window curtain, watching the 5 roll towards ocean beach and pretending that I am not a person and that my friends are friends without knowing me.
Remember:
Doctor’s appointment on Thursday.
It would be outrageous for me to say anything has shaped me this year more intensely
Than my own grand failures caused by my need for outside approval.
A year ago, I wouldn’t have been willing to admit that.
January – Just establishing new year resolutions, just dreaming about who I want to be, just looking back over the past year
The Beginning.
Who am I now,
Who was I then.
I was as quiet as a cats 'meow',
But now I just use my pen.
I know more about me,
I think you do too.
When I write I can see
Truly you are untrue
Your name tastes sour now when I say it,
And yes I fell in love, I have no shame to admit,
I loved the things you said to me, you always called me amazing,
when we met as fledgeling adolescents on that solstice day,
the lake was blue--
no, grey--
no,
the color of bitter
Don't you think my bones are quieter when I wake up next to you
Traced in my childhood physique and rooted in morningness
They say morning people rule the world
Opening with a false
A lie for truths,
Isn’t that us all?
Im cold and sweaty but this time I’m ready
Lying here amongst my thoughts
Deep,
Deep,
Blue.
Blue hands.
Blue lips.
Blue lungs.
Blue hearts.
Sinking down.
To the vast blue ocean
Of my stomach.
Strangled.
A windowsill
Teetering on tea boiling in a pot
And musicians hissing about politics
Legal highs and all time lows
Screaming foxes and gunshots
6 torn cardboard walls hold distant memories- hah, more like serrated puzzle pieces with razor sharp edges, stabbing one another yet fitting perfectly - yet willingly accepting the nerve wrenching pain and sudden discoloration of their o
It all started when I lost myself.
I wallowed in misery.
I had no self esteem.
I felt unloved, unworthy, and worst of all dead inside.
Like I was simply existing, without living at all.
If I hit a low again
In the witching hour
from the dark room where I lay awake all alone,
and I’ve gone so numb I can’t feel the aching cold
Closed.
There's a dream
in my head
and it's making me
Ill.
Swimming,
These aren't my thoughts.
I wouldn't
couldn't
never would do
that.
But I did.
Dreams
If we had world enough, and time,
we'd ditch this town and get lost
in this beautifully dangerous realm.
The beaches and woods do not overwhelm,
and enters the chance to explore.
She was my friend.
Blonde, green-eyed,
Fair skinned and delicate.
She was perfect in more ways then one.
And I fell for her.
She was a flower,
Beautiful and dainty.
A snagged branch I was when you brush your shoulder against me. Chills and goosebumps, you rewind to when I caught you by the edge of your torn up plain white tee. I wrestle with the wind, for the breeze seems not to hit me.
She took it away
Stole my life source
Confiscated my heart
And all that connects me inside
The wires and the lines
That helped me reach a place
A place where I could be happy
We are all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it.
We pull up our hoods and hide away. You don't even look our way.
While you see headphones, we hear the music.
The mirror think it knows me when it don't
The mirrior might think it seeks every part of me but no.
The mirror doesn't see how my reactions of others sayings hurt me
They see with mostly what's out but not what's within.
I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to play dead
Being blind and not even knowing it
Daily activities going through life in a daze
Running, always chasing trying not to be caught
Hand me a pair of scissors
I’ll cut the steel ropes
That led straight to your heart
At least I’ll try
If only I could get closer to you
That end of the rope is the thinnest
Day 1
Trigger-happy gigglersWe laugh on instinctErupting roars around the roomlike criss-cross apple sauce trip minesToo short for ridesCondemning tattle-talesSelectively breeding kickball sides
To you, mom, I think depression is not understanding.
It’s not hearing me when I cry silently at dinner, but instead, reprimanding.
Me? It’s not my fault, see, I hold back my breaths, I keep it in
Anything a heart desires
Locked away
Listening to you without return
I can't imagine a world without it
I knew I had it bad,
when they asked what I would need
if I was stranded on a island,
and the first thing I thought of,
was your blue eyes instead of water.
Isn't that sad?
Red they say stands for love or admiration
Oh darling, my heart must have been bright red the day I saw you
Yellow they say stands for optimism and cheer
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A question frequently asked by many. Growing up I've had everything a young child could ask for. I had a stable home, a mom, a dad, and endless amounts of toys.
Why do I always stare at this device?
It gives me reassurance and makes me feel I'm making something with my life
I listen to music that inspires me
Instagram and Snapchat brings smiles of glee
At sixteen I knew
and at seventeen I fell.
You and I
will howl to the moon
for every night to come.
Pups will weave
airplane basslines grind cityscapesand we're swaddled in prisms of electrical amber; your love's so easy to swallow and it feels like we're glowing,it kills me so slowly- gentle,temperamental
Every time you smile
Every time you laugh
I can't stop smiling
Every time you move
Every time you dance
I can't stop watching
Every time you talk
Every time you sing
Ocean breeze,
you seem too good to see,
always there by a blink of a hair,
passing your way through me.
You give me life,
a sort I can't see, it all seems too good to believe,
Smooth skin. Like butterscotch, tan and creamy. I don’t believe that I have ever seen a single blemish on your body. You’re white, but that odd sort of white that you don’t see too much of.
It’s moments like these that I am aware of reality
I am mortal,
expendable.
My life is so fucking short
it’s the blink of an eye
and as I lay awake at 4am as I do tonight
I wonder
i think of you and the butterflies, swarming my stomach, swim up and up to my throat in a tornado.my gums are growing flowers, making meadows of messages i can only wish to speak to you.
People say the relationship is toxic.
That he'll kill me.
(It surely well might be the case)
But it's not your business
I tell myself
People say the relationship ain't healthy.
I tried to fall in love,
and love fell away from me.
Music tastes and edited imagery
can’t disguise the doubts of the reality
that you are not good or true
for who I am trying to be,
You may think this isn’t needed
And it probably isn’t
But I’ll say it anyway
I’m sorry
Pull heartstrings while you pull Hamstrings,
Make me feel your presence in it's entirety.
Lungs aren't full enough for you to linger this long, but
I don't care if you don't, and
I am not the kind of person who just lets go Relaxes, lets loose, and just goes with the flow I cling tight to the future!With dreams ill get better But with every step I just get wetter and wetter As I'm drowning in homework And drowning in seas
There is beauty
in everything
in life, in death, in whatever comes before
but beauty mostly resides
inside of a heart
When I'm alone, I frown. When I'm around you, I smile.
When I'm alone, I cry. When I'm around you, I laugh.
When I'm alone, I want to die. When I'm around you, life is worth living.
I am not I think I am...
I think I am small.
I think I am inadequate.
I think I am less than.
I am more than what U think I am...
U think I am a burden
I am a child
Who needs toys, to know she’s loved, coloring books
Who loves her mom and dad, school, baby dolls
Who sees stickers, scraped knees, birthday parties
Who fears spiders, heights, time out
I am loud in the presence of my brother
But when it comes to the outside world
I am quiet. I am soft. I am too quiet to
Be noticed and not enough to be remembered
I can remember the moments that took your breath
It is the kiss of life
Your breath against mine
This life is like a rollercoaster
Neither can bring back time
Your past haunts my everlasting wakes
Please baby come back to me
Come to life
Mariah
Sure, that's me.
That is my name.
The first thing people see.
But when they let themselves in,
And pass through the door,
When they find themselves inside,
But not finding what for,
Come hither,
see me whither,
in the wind like dust blowing away.
I falter and fallow,
as my tears run down my face so sallow,
I'm alone and afraid,
what should I do?
Sometimes I wonder
How could I make a kite fly
Even when weighed down by a boulder
How could I make these diseased things happy
They want money and my everlasting plea to be their servant
One day,
I'll hold your skin in the palms of my
hands and breathe in time with your
heartbeat.
One day,
I can bask in the feeling of infinity in
your arms and press promises against
You are the reason.
The reason I am me.
The reason I will be,
the only one you will ever see
that is as happy as can be.
s.f.
7.19.15
My hope is powered
by the greatness of your heart.
My smile is fueled
by the sweetness of your words.
My mind is functioning
with the help of your rambunctious emotions.
Do we ever feel alone?
yes.
Do we ever feel forgotten?
yes.
Have we ever gotten help?
no.
Have your friends ever offered help?
yes, but I think I don't need it.
“Go with your gut feeling."
I don’t feel anything
Except the heat from my brain
Coupled with the pain of thinking of him
Cause I can’t, Won’t let myself stop thinking of you
I don't believe in them
Especially when people play the roles
I'm sleep, thinking I’m dreaming them
I met a boy and asked him what he thought of our relationship
I want to get better
help me get better.
living like this, is not called living.
No matter where I go it's always pouring the same
and im tired of etting cold
all drenched from the rain.
and you told me you wouldn't leaveand that you would neve
I’m mental.
I’m losing what’s left of my rapidly
deteriorating mind.
Its hard to understand a basket
case.
No one really does.
Unfortunate.
She drowns in the depths of depression.
Necessity.
She needs to get away.
Escape.
She vies for freedom.
Personality.
What's that?
I've been searching for hours,
to find a reason why.
It's 2 A.M.
and I'm running circles in my mind.
I whisper prayers
that go unheard.
I wonder when
my thoughts will turn.
To happy days
They say if I want to fit in
Than I should
Walk like them
Talk like them
Dress Like them
They say that beauty
The unexpected comfort I have found
sleeping on this furniture
my sister diagonal from me.
my mother parallel to me.
my pride inexistestent.
I do not complain because
it is either this couch or
Above my right eyebrow
there's a scar
From the day after Four Years of
ignorance or innocence
I discovered the death of my favorite dog.
And all around my arms
If we got caught we’d be so dead.
Everyone thinks we’re asleep in bed.
Our music is so loud,
We are the bad crowd.
No one saw it coming, I mean out of all people I was the least to expect anything. The way she still looked at you, and the way she stared at me, and had the words, "I love you" jump off of her tongue.
Phones everywhere
Babies, kids, teens, adults, elderly
Everywhere I look there's a phone
Students, teachers, drivers, policemen, firemen
School, funerals, weddings, births, accidents, parties, fights
Broken window shows each dream
Shattered lie you can't redeem
A wish upon a twisted heart
Diamond lie that ripped apart
Shards of truth a pane of glass
I am not oh-so-beautiful
I am no princess in truth
I haven't a drop of royal blood
Nor silver save my filled tooth
Perhaps one may overlook me
Give me not a chance
crazy
that a 14 year old is
too young to make choices
but old enough to take responsibility
crazy
that a 15 year old is
not able to control his tongue
"Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful' .
I'd repeat it. Look in the mirror and say " I love you".
I'd try , but nothing would come out . I'd go mute.
I spent most of my life trying to hide myself.
I burned the American Flag.
Literally.
I burned the American Flag and I recorded it on video.
From the moment I walk into the door,
Up runs a familiar face.
Huge chocolate eyes open wide and a mouth open even wider,
A small rosy tounge drips with excitement.
The only sounds to be heard are
I wanted to be a professional juggler by the time I left high school
I wanted to make a name for myself by juggling five things at once
Classes
Sports
Friends
Family
Sleep
Then I dropped sleep
ive got no words
to describe this feeling inside
but ive got paticence
to tell you what's on my mind
i have to find all these reasons
to get out of bed each day
and it seems that one of them
Teen
Who are we?
We the nameless, shameless
Youth of everlasting sameness?
So similar yet so unique,
Our secrets seemingly forever,
And promises we strive to keep.
Foreward: Below is an account of my actions and feelings upon learning the loss of a friend.
I’m inundated, like being stuck under a waterfall
Relentless flow of application information
Why can’t this deluge be money?
Applications for colleges, scholarships, volunteering, jobs
The man who you are suppose to be able to trust and love turns out to be the one you have to look out for the most.
The man who was suppose to love you and never hurt you turns out to be the one who can't be trusted.
I Bet you don't know how some of us youths are trying
Consistently attempting to filter and rebirth the "already drugged" mind
whose views are confined to material wealth, sex and guns
You smother me
Individuality is taboo in this household
Because apparently I am still but a child
But what does the evidence of those growths say?
What does the mind and soul speak of?
As I sit down once again, in front of the old computer with the whirring fan
My fingers begin to hit the black keys, each one a small click
That make an musical orchestra of words
A troubled teen,
she wonders the streets,
a paint can in her hand.
She wants someone to notice her.
She wants someone to value her,
so she will receive her value from afar.
Every child reaches the age
When their thoughts need no consent.
When hearts twist and writhe,
Simple encounters evoke torment.
Days pass as moments,
Slipping through the tightest of grips;
When I meet people,
People I end up falling for,
I assume they'll be perfect for me on every level.
I assume we'll dream the same dreams,
And they'll understand all the silly things I'm scared of,
I was a mistake
They didn't mean for me to be here
They had tried to use protection
They had tried to take care
But Daddy screwed up and it was broken
And Mommy's test was pink
When you look at me Jay
My world stops completely
You make me feel special
Especially when you tell me that you need me
We didn't think it would happen to us,
We thought we had it all under control,
yet we knew it was a possibilty...
Oh! how dumb and naive were we,
We didn't think,
We were stuck in that moment and
I am tired of this façade
Men shouldn't have to treat the opposite sex with disrespect in order to retain their masculinity.
Girls shouldn't feel the need to starve themselves for beauty and serenity.
For every little babe that looks at a babe of its own,
A footnote is attached to both of their minds.
Whether or not the younger babe is wanted by the older will forever imprint a little phrase on that footnote;
Stress
The day to day hustle .
School , friends , work .
I feel like my worlds about to end , so much to do I can barely breath.
As I sit I realize the ambition I have to make it in this never ending world.
No one ever said life was gonna be easy
You learnt that way too early in life
You carry yourself in a way that says "I'm fine" when in reality we both know you're lying to yourself
Life's a party,
One you can never leave.
So live it up,
break it down,
and never regret anything you do.
Because in the end,
it makes you who you are.
He may not know it but, she fell hard for him.
Harder than a naked body belly flopping against a freezing pool of water.
Like glass breaking against her skin.
She may not reliaze it, but he's drunk with love.
This week I feel funny. I feel out of place, underdressed and alone. I feel a little bit like sticky hands that you can't wash. I can't shake this feeling but for some reason I don't mind.
Some say that bitterness is what broke you,
and ripped your seams apart.
But whatever it was that consumed you,
longing is what lies inside your heart.
A longing to be better, is the single thread that binds you.
Rosy were of her lavish cheeks,
What a shadow the flourescent moonlight leaves
Complimented by the icy crystals traveling down in trails towards her heart
It's a wonder how such chaotic strife can be such beautiful art
Facing the dedication plaque of The East Coast Memorial in Battery Park,sat a navy spiral bound with a worn post-it note upon the cover.Head slightly tilted, I scoff at the carelessness of some kids.
But what of me, standing in the corner,
Hidden in the shadow.
Placed there unwilling,
Listening to the conversation flow.
Never do I ever want to hear another word
I drove past your grave today,
I felt you wave to me.
Your laughter filled my thoughts,
I almost veered off the road...
Maybe because I remembered,
When we used to be alone,
Those men who watch me when I walk home. They haven’t always watched, but I don’t remember when. Out of their windows in their cars as they pass by. Someone’s always watching me.
You cannot hide the feelings.
You cannot crumple them up and toss them in the trash like you do with a love note that failed to love.
I would change life expectancy.
Why must we expect life to be either short or long?
As we go about our days of our lives
We look for more than
Just hope.
We look for reasons why to continue our days
i'm scared of getting close
how could anyone handle
someone so deranged
it really blows
having everything hidden
because eventually someone will want to know the truth
i do not like to feel
the emotions take over
leaving me broken and vulnerable
it's hard to deal
feeling hopeless
feeling alone
that's why i've cornere myself off in this fortress
im thinking a thought about how strange it is to see you not waiting for me at my locker
I've based my whole life off of what other people think
I can't wear this because he might think this
I can't say this because they're going to judge me
I'm sick of conforming
He looks at me
And sees my love that is asleep.
Through the iron cast bars-
Of his baby's mansion .
He looks at me
like I am ripe fruit.
And I think that's fine by me.
She liked control.
Because as long as she was in control.
She could determine what happens.
So she would push people away
And soon enough she only had herself.
On the rooftop of a closed shop,
He thought hops to her tube top.
Nonstop they both spit swap,
And the next prop is the countertop.
Him on top,
Again nonstop,
Until the condom pops,
Fear of rejection
Been such a long time
Since I’ve been home
I feel like so long I was a mime
I shall not shed a tear when your heart leaves mine
I shall not show the fear inside
I shall not miss your touch
I shall not miss your warmth near
I shall not miss your lips upon mine
You don’t want to invest the timeTime is nothing, you lieEverything was beautifulRoses in the garden,Cloudless skiesBut the raging clouds kept coming from your eyesOn that day,
New Love
They're three little words, but not very little to me,
tell me your dreams, fears, and who you want to be.
People claim to be lucky at the cards and unlucky in love,
Inside of a teenage girl,Is a big, beating heart,a heart that tears what sheloves and likes apart.
It seems as though
Every time our eyes cross skies,
Our distance dies,
And the tension flies
We're back at square one
Where
I'm looking in your eyes
Deciding if they're lies
i dream of happier days:before the cell phone,her now-constant companion.before computers, iPods.before she caredabout how she looks.about fitting in,conforming.back when a night light
Ideas born out of 2amGrown to wrap around my eyesPull them downThey will not shutConstant spike of ideasIn my brain, it hurtsThe throb of thought against boneI am not destined for sleep
Did you come across the weary hunter?
Seemingly harmless hungers in silence.
But just who is this weary hunter?
Unsatisfied, unstoppable, and intangible
Her belly grows and grows,
but nobody knows.
Sweatshirts are too small,
the inevitable becomes
apparent.
Waddles through hallways,
up flights of stairs,
back aches.
You tear apart your family,
You make me want to die,
You can't accept the unplanned,
You're the main reason I cry;
Why do you do these things?
I may never know,
But I wish I could pour sense into you,
They want me to become something I’m not.
I’ve twisted and turned and bent over backwards in an attempt to fit into their box,
But I simply cannot.
It’s never too late,
To pass your class they say.
tears shed through our eyes of innocence all of which we cannot see
our passion and demon minds have not yet to perish
but grow a stronger flame
our thoughts so powerful and true its a beautiful tragedy we live in
Teacher, teacher
I'm not sure if you know
My mind may be open
But my heart remains closed
Teacher, teacher
Please, just hear me out
There are so many things
Ambulance sirens.Someone else dying.Girls getting knocked up.The fathers leave or get locked up.Few fake cops.Walking out dealing with Opps.
Put death to the thought of my own thoughtlessness; succumb to the enthralling promises, but sink into a trembling demise. You are touched and prodded, molded and stretched. You are something that you’re not.
All alone by herself not knowing where to turn for help. Trading applying for scholarships to scheduling doctor trips. Asking God to see her through this . Young girl herself not ready to hear someone call her mother.
As she closed her eyes she imagined her life before her
Her eyes were bowed down in defeat, in weakness
She reminisced on what she had lost, what she had gained
Mine eyes have seen the coming
the comming of many things,
But as things pass by my eyes
they become many goings.
My feet know many back allies
that have kept me off my trail.
Excuse me Miss
Please stop asking me the same questions over and over
I know my assignments are late
I know some things aren’t turned in
Truth is when I get home I don’t want to think about school
Children scribble on the walls,Nonsensical graffitiOn the inside of the womb,Cut up and bleedingInternally.I've fucked up and I'm fucked.This demon called paranoia haunts me before bedtime
Clear skies on the outside besides
the whirlwind taking over inside
Everyone else sees you as a kind man
He flies, they always catch him.
He flies, why did they fail?
He flies, now alone.
He lands, they lie at his feet as the rain falls.
He rises again soaring the skies, the robin of his mother's dreams.
The home of a traveler
Is not really a home,
But more of a way of life.
The home can be furnished nicely
With a chipper mood and a broad smile.
The furniture is all in place
He's sixteen going on thirty,
A boy no longer a boy
Craving sexual stimulation
But a man
Craving intellectual conversation.
That night I left work
I was scared
I knew something bad was going to happen
I took a cab to his house
When I got there
We went to his room and started drinking
My green eyes
Gaze against my nearly translucent skin,
Then flicker across buildings
Of mirrors and concrete,
With blurry lights,
As rainwater descends,
Before pelting my crimson coat,
Sober Thoughts,You're just wasting my time.Grab the bottle,It was in the back of your mind.In the darkened place,Where I always hide.Drown it out,A waveless tide.
I'm on this path to my pursuit of happiness
trying to get back to that place where a smile wasn't rare
remembering my days as a child
a time of pure carefree bliss
death was just a word
Let me be me
I am just a girl
let me be me
one day I wanna rule the world
My parents never get me; it seems I am never heard
let me be me
I always scream and say
What is college
Why should you go
Is it pointless
What does it show
Getting a higher education
Staying in school
Focusing on your career
What could you lose
Just your time
Home is my burning desire.
My soul has been set on fire.
Feelings of lost hope.
I am on a downward slope.
Dreams crushed as no tomorrow,
With none left to share or borrow.
Aromas of the unknown,
"That's my child!"
She's yelling at me as if i don't know
how he got into this world.
I'm not dumb.
I'm just a kid,
and your yelling
won't make me grow up any faster.
I'm actually afraid
Oh. Thick girls?
They are better than Big girls.
Big girls are like big.
Thick Girls are just better
Said everyone.
Big girl
Big girl
No loves you they said, lose weight they tell me
Brainwash the children of the nation
with songs by Drake
omg becky look at her butt
you only live once
dripping with misogyny
stupid sayings
strangle our minds into believing
Walls are fallen
Words come alive
Memories are seen
History is broken
Future is forgotten
Emotions are meaningless
7:30, i hit the button.By 8, i'm out the house. Running late but still get coffee.Nothing's stopping me now.On the the way to class, i saw my friend.It looked like she had cried.
The water gets high,
my oxygen is low,
I'm barely getting by and I've nowhere left to go.
The heart beats,
blood races,
body heats,
surrounded by bruised faces.
Hush,
Butterflies
In the Night
Drift Away
Without a Fight
Lose Myself
Lost in You
Wondering why
But Such a Pretty View
No more sadness
No more pain?
Watch That Blood
It's happening again.The same old phone calls at nearly 4am.Wondering if I should even pick up,Its pretty obvious what you want-You only tell me you love me after 2am.Once everyones gone and the liqour sets in. You dialate in the darkness,wander b
We drank to fade awayuntil it worked.When the morning light painted the bodiesthat we were still trapped in,we fell asleep;too exhausted to carethat we still existed.
Kids walk through the hall,
Never knowing when we all might fall,
This week,
last week,
The feelings follow,
Inside we are hollow,
Between the bruises and scarres we learn,
The beatings we earn,
She is tired.
Tired of everything.
She cries every day.
She is afraid.
So she wants to forget.
Forget her life and who she is.
So she turns.
11: 30 P.M.
Turns to drugs.
What happened that night was so unexpected,
She did everything to make him stay because she feared of being rejected,
She thought she was with the Prince in her dream,
A Cinderella Story wasn't necessarily the theme,
August 18th
Wrapped up your last pair of good sneakers
In the crease of my elbows
Went walking in your arms
She is
Tall
Brilliant
Gorgeous
Funny
Amazing
I am
Average
She is
A girl who, when she says "hello" her smile is genuine
And it makes your heart pound in your chest
Adolescence is only
but a piece in my puzzle
Its reminiscence
cascade in parts that portray
the whole image
Appearing in glossy
bent forms,
But my experiences
are only components of my
I was once depressed.
Most people didn’t know. You slap a smile on your face and they don’t take the time to tell the difference between happy and sad.
On the very brink of reality,
Hanging on the edge of safety,
Tweet, tweet, tweeting up, up high,
The in and out breaths, the deep sigh,
To jump or hop back to the nest?
This predictable feeling of old,
The one of countless tales told,
Has become an object of the norm,
That word surrounded with storm,
I had predicted to feel detached from me,
Love is meant to last,
But alas, it is very fragile like glass,
It may break into little pieces that even when glued,
Taped together preciously or delicately sewed,
Remember that time?
When we swore we were perfect
Ironically in love with each other’s imperfections
Barely leaving any space between us to take in the recollections.
Will it come to pass me by
or will it never come at all
Will it come with my sorrows
or will it come with my family's sorrows
I ask myself this everyday
for you never know when it'll be your last
I met him that day at summer camp.
He was tall, and he was inspiring, and he was beautiful.
But his father was taken away from him so suddenly,
And the pain burned a hole inside of him that seemed too big to patch up.
I admit that I hate I'm feeling alone...
Checking for texts with every second,
But the black covers my phone.
It doesn't light up every minute
Like my sister and my mom's
So I keep waiting here, here
She's just a girlfull of dreams and hopesimagination as big as texasdaddys little princess
Your teeth are clenched,
your head down.
Your nails sink deeper and deeper
with every sound
Your pace is rather brisk, for
You feel numerous eyes staring
they penetrate through your skin
As children we scribbled on paper so white,
Counting the colors,
Enjoying the sight,
Of the marvelous splendor,
Of something we made,
Showed it to mom,
Then went out and played.
Day breaks at dawn,
Falls at dusk,
Leaving me alone.
Taking away the magic,
That once was.
Mind racing to remember,
Only to find pages of white.
The painting that used to be,
What am I gonna do when you’re gone?
Because you couldn’t let anybody in to hear the cries of your sad song.
So tell me what am I gonna do when you’re gone?
The tears were streaming
down my face,
happy thoughts
I could not retrace.
I stare up at
my computer screen,
social media
can be so mean.
I type my goodbyes
The paradise child
Fell from convenience
Onto the concrete
The asphalt
Did not taste of sweetness
But of fear
Should I write you letters,
or a post card maybe..
Do you even listen to me,
or do you choose to make me wait?
Dear God, are you listening?
I can hear it's heartbeat,
can you hear mine too?
My head is spinning, round and round.
My legs lose power, I fall to the ground.
My scars are burning, brighter and brighter.
My hope is soaring, higher and higher.
In my mind, their voices say.
All it took was one shot
For you to spiral down the drain
‘Cause though you may have fought
You couldn’t evict the pain
All it took was one thought
For you to decide it was time
Thing is,
The days she wakes up
With dread for the mirror
And nights crumble away
With never-ending tears.
Because she isn’t-
Because she can’t be-
Because she’ll never be-
As a teenager, time and time again, I am asked the question, "want a drink?" My response to the request always catches the others by surprise. Do I want a drink? To me, this question is so much more.
What is a thousand dollars
if I can't kiss the scars off my mother's feet
replenish the color of her sunken cheeks
stuff her stomach when she refuses to eat
subtract years from her age
If the world is listening, Let them hear this; My life is not perfect, My life is not bliss. I'm happy almost never. The sadness always stays. I'm always the one who's wrong. I'm always the one who's to blame.
Let’s swap hands you take my heart I’ll take your cigarette. Light me up here I’ll block the wind with the cuffing of my hand.
I see my soul soaring,
Flying like an eagle,
They try to tie me down,
Where I cannot be free.
One day I found
Poetry needed no rhymes
So unlike,
when the piano clunked,
when my sobs sogged keys,
when my fingers clumsily blundered,
The keys I was taught to play
Displeasing Mother’s ears
I see your tears everyday and just want to hold you tight,I hear you when you cry in your pillow every single night,I watch you go to work and whisper I love you in your ear,
It's funny how people think I'm a really strong person and nothing bothers me.
I'm always smiling, trying to be the happiest person I can be.
I hide behind fake smiles & "I'm fine"
Times are hard,
Hearts are broke,
no one knows what lies ahead,
maybe a miracle.
Her hearts shattered and beaten,
It shows on her body,
No one believes it
Hes killing her.
Get Em
Get Em
Get Em
Party Party Party
Cups stacked along the corners of a torn house
Aligned like a house of cards, fragile
Reeking of booze, alcohol
Oops spilled some on the floor
What is this insane reality that I live in.
Its seems to be that every time I come to see.
I can't still believe.
I'm walking 'round Blind
I'm worse than the mice.
I'm awakening from beauty.
When ones so close to death
You didn't even notice you took your last breath
Your still alive
and yet there's so much hope
We all pray here
Left with cope
Your still young you've got so much left to see
We lost you.
Your gone.
I know you tried and tried
Fought all you could
But this time you had to give.
Yeah we suffered,for the ♥ of you
Your my dad don't forget that too.
Everyone keeps staring at me
My belly swells and my feet hurt
I didnt ask for this change
I didnt ask for this experience
stop staring at me please
judging me in your head
whispers in the shadow of my back
I am young.
Thinking more of girls, than of grades,
I take the time to ponder lips of pink-ish red, soft and moist,
Glossed with the scent and color of strawberries,
With curvaceous beauty, with supple sensitivity.
Tu me donne ton portable, et j'ai lu un message.
Je découvre qu'il s'agit d'une terrible annonce.
Tu ne m'aime plus?
Mais, je ne comprends pas pourquoi?
J’écoute, je comprends, et je peins mon amour pour toi.
Some of the kids would go silent when I walked by in the hall
Look at anything but me
Or sometimes they'd laugh at me
They knew
They'd call me a loser, a freak
Saying things about my mom
If I were one for praying,
If I were to supplicate the gods,
I would ask them to deliver me to you
So that I may be humbled in the presence
Of a beauty akin to that of the divine.
feeling insecure, like im against the rest, or as if I was in a game trying to complete a difficult test. always having enemy's never just a few, always trying to challenge me, like what I already face will never do.
Let is not waste our precious time
on all those harmful screens,
that connects us to the world
but disconnect us form the scene.
Day by day I face an internal outcry that rages
My mind never silent
I dream word of worry
I wake with panic
Day by day I am forced to face life in an undeveloped body
I am judged for my emotions
You're not good enough
And you never will be
You're ugly
You're too fat
No one will ever like you
Because you're fat
You're too skinny
You will never look like her
To see the one I love, happy, means the world to me
Even if that means I've got to set him free
I love him
But he loves someone else
I will never fall in love for fear of a constantly harrowed heart
I am alone, yet not lonely.
I am unique, although I am just like you.
I love, but I am not in love
I care, and do not let myself be cared for.
I wish, and cannot hope.
I am living, yet I am not allowed to live.
A Sharpie hanging in the air
Taunting me from your fingertips
Just the knowledge that it’s there
Is enough to put me on edge
You laugh as I slip it from your hand
Knowing I just let you lure me in
My boyfriend is a senior and he doesn’t have long
He has 6 college offers
2 are in IL, but not in Chicago
I can deal with that
4 are in other states, nowhere near Chicago
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Death, murder, heartache, incarceration
The very things teens attempt to avoid
Texting and driving
The very thing that can lead to it all
Falling, falling, falling—
Limp like the rag doll I used to play with
But that has now been packed away in a storage box
Somewhere amongst the dust of the forgotten in the attic—
You hold me up again.
I'd show him what he asked for
If he called me beautiful,
I'd take another shot
If I could prove that I'm fun,
I'd agree we were "just messing around"
If I could feel his love
On a night like tonight,
Almost burned in the fire
Didn't feel the burn, but I got the marks
Generations getting higher and higher
We left the atmosphere without any talks
I find the mistakes that I've made
As we lay on the soft, dew-wet grass, staring into the night sky as
Colors boom and bang around us, as we sit perfectly still,
So perfect, so quiet, yet peaceful.
Two young souls lost in the ashes of the fireworks.
Tick Tock
The bell screams
I wait...
and wait...
And finally the show begins.
HIs lip quivers with thoughts
HIs eyes staring, imploring with the deepest green
It's only a moment, yet I feel it
I live my life by a code
To never get drunk nor high,
But people think me queer or rude.
My code exiles me from the cliques,
Never invited to outings or parties,
Never asked to stand in the student body.
You left with spring
never to experience the summer.
In the fall you came again,
you came as a shock to those you left
and now all that remains
are those bereft.
You think you cool just cause you have sex with the dudes,
I have news for you that just makes you a fool,
I guess you like the center of attention and whispers behind your back,
The months of waiting and tears
Lead to this moment;
Where I can finally hold you again,
And hear your heartbeat,
And breathe you in.
It's been too long since i've seen you're smile
And your eyes,
Brilliance was burned away
We drank away our thoughts
Gambled which would stay and which would go,
We didn't know.
The sky is clear, but in this cage it is hard to notice. This cage that constricts me from seeing beyond the bars is unbearable, and I am unable to set myself free.
Your troubles were my troubles, your struggles I made my own.
What I got in return was nothing more, but pain.
Now what do I have to show, I am nothing but alone.
My eyes watered like rain, you made me feel so insane.
Its been 24 hours since yesterday,
I know u might think That I exaggerate but I just can't explain'
This feeling is suffocating me,
Cuz I know yours aren't the same' that you thought they were...
When I was a kid,
I thought the world was like the one in the cartoons
The hero dressed in his red, white, and blue would always fly in and save the day
One day in the middle of the night I heard a voice
I woke up and looked around
But no one was there, I thought it was just a sound
So I went back to sleep
Hoping my dreams would fall in the deep
He looked at Me today.. He didn't speak but He peeped at Me today.. I caught that little smirk, I still consider him a jerk for the way he portrays himself around school, but its all cool.
A hard world we live in today
It's almost like the ultimate video game
But unlike a game there is no resetting
No pausing
And definitely No extra lives
But these harsh realities are often ignored
Life is tough, so get a helmet,
That's what we have been hearing all our lives.
Stuck in the in between of getting spoken to like a child,
But expected to act like an adult.
Disease is the reason
For the loss of my loved ones,
And possibly the future
Loss of others.
Its time to make a decision
A decision to stand or to fall
To live life to the fullest or fall in the trash of the past
The time is now to decide to live and to love the lives we have
I sit here alone,
Afraid and confused
This child that I bear,
Leaves me not the bit amused
This was not on purpose,
I should have kept my head on focus.
How can I tell them?
(poems go here)
why do you so desperately seek attention?
I just want to gather you all for an intervention
It's a problem--- Epidemic
Be aware if you dare
stare i don't care
i have everything being my teddy bear
its ok if you dont like me
but i bet my life you wont doubt me
because i have potential like no other
Today I am 17, soon
to be 18 and it wont be long
until adults will respect me, youth
will reflect me. But I just sit here in my room
waiting for Peter Pan to come. Before
Look at the sky,
It’s pure and white.
Nothing compared to my soul
That’s neglected and dark.
The trees stand tall,
Branching out far
Nothing compared to my soul
That slums down,
If innocence were bottled up in human form, she would be the epistle within
Her chestnut hair glistens underneath the morning sun
Her dark eyes possess a thousand, mystifying riddles
laying cold
dripped in sweat
eyes rolled back
shaking at the tips
I sit hear wondering why o why
I fall to my knees
frightened by the sight
purple lips and cold blood
Afraid to admit? Afraid what other people will think? About the truth? If its too deep? Well, i think your weak. I think thats a problem. You're brainwashed and blinded by love that is not true love. A boy who does not care.
Lost in the moment,
you move against me.
Fingers graze.
Skin ablaze.
Heart skips, heart jumps.
Temptation seeking,
you whisper, “breathtaking”.
She slid the blade deep into her arm
Breathing heavy, trying so hard to hold in her emotions
yet release all her feelings.
She thought of the sister that didn't love her,
The mother to busy to care,
That although we are far apart
I will hold you close to my heart
When you're either up or down
I'll always have a remedy for your frown
That in the event you shed a tear
Your way to young, you don't know what to do
who's gonna love you and guide you through?
The guy is gone that's usually how it goes
Your mom and dad aren't happy and soon everyone will know.
A door opens
Empty of memory
Cold, Dark, Eerie
Depression creeps in
Sadness takes over
The walls drooping with pain
Crying tears of blood
No acceptance from reality
Pain has overcame pleasure
She sits there in the corner.
She reaching for the phone.
She pulls back her hand,
Her time is like a hourglass sand.
Curling over with tears,
All her fears become real.
She goes into shame,
I will never understand why you died
Yes I know the reason why
Someone bullied you
And said mean things about you
But why did it affect you
You are beautiful
And you are smart
I’m done
Yet I can’t quite grasp it
Why something like this would happen to me
How could something like this happen to me
That trust I built has just been destroyed
I’ve never been this broken before
Whatever happened to the flowers?
The water lilies and poppies and marigolds,
With their dewy stalks and folds?
I don't know who I am
The white in my life blew out
I don't know where I stand
At thirteen my soul was left in doubt
The only white
The purity
The innocence... of me
Taken in the dark
You saw me standing there and didn’t say a word
But neither did I because
I knew I would be ignored.
Our hearts simultaneously beating faster
Not knowing what to do
When all I really want to say is:
I blame you
You are why they lower their expectations
Why they say “Hey grrr” instead of “Hey girl” around me
Why they assume I’m poor
Why they talk down to me
Stop and stare.
Who goes there?
Not a pal or a friend.
Maybe a foe or a fiend.
Can you see her?
Or maybe its a him?
Duck! And Dodge!
Close one my friend.
Don't fight back.
It hurts like the sting of ice and cold.
It hurts cause I know that's what's like your soul.
It hurts because you forced me to believe the words you say.
It hurts to think how can I manage another day.
His heart stained the floor a dull red,
While his breaths escaped under his bed.
Valiantly he fought the war but wound up dead,
Although the war was only inside his head.
Swords clashed; dragons spit fire.
You have now brought this new plate
Plate of Gold, that no one else but I can Hold
You have now brought this new light
A light so powerful, not even darkness can contrite
For you have NOW brought this new happiness
Looking in the mirror
Sadness stains her face.
Red lines cover her, making feelings fade.
They call her names.
The torment her.
The wall she has built is breaking.
She goes home to a world too adult.
It burns in the back of my mind,
day and night the burning goes,
bursting to be untethered,
lust, fear, sorrow and pride,
its all here,
in the back of my mind,
but if I were to unleash these inner demons,
