toxic relationships
Learn more about other poetry terms
It was 11pm in the beginning of February.
There was a group text. It was like the universe aligned.Months of friendship and flirting,Until you finally won my affection.
When I was small, I was told to smile
Or else I could never be loved,
So I smiled.
When my uncle died,
They said I was too young to grieve,
So I smiled.
Can I be your dog?
Fed a bowl of cigarettes
in the stale morning,
bowl of you at night.
I'll wag my tail when you're home,
follow you around.
Can I be your dog?
I was so open,
Legs open,
Heart open,
But mind closed to the idea of
Your deception.
Of
How you
is this abuse? if it wasn't before
you tell me i'm invalid
a monster
a cruel being to this beautiful world
you brought me in , you can take me out
threats,
how obscure
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
my ecstasy,
your gentle touch is a consistent one.
fingers running down my back like spiders descending from silk strung webs,
you whisper promises in my ear.
When I was young I was taught to love,
To give, to comfort and to make laugh.
I was taught to say gratitude and blessings;
To have faith and to create my dreams
I was taught to be patient; to be kind and to forgive.
all i could think about
when he pushed his way inside of me
was his enchanting stories of a better life
Let's connect to reality;
turn off the electricity,
lie in the silence that
invades us.
I'll hear you for lack of
the other sounds that
made us
bearable, one to the other.
I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
For a second there I thought you might love me,
Maybe it was the words you said to me,
Comparing my smile to the world's seven wonders,
My eyes to fine rubies,
Who left the tap on?
When his building storm spills out,She is made to carry the overflow
He refuses to call a plumberAnd there’s only so much flooding this room can take
every night i go to bed shaking
the tremors rip through my body
shaking hands, shaking hearts
i pull pillows to my chest
and i press down as hard as i can
You grabbed my wrist,
Dragged me towards you.
A deep purple formed there to
Remind me of you throughout the following weeks.
Love is not-
about power and control
it isn't an assassin
of dreams and aspirations
it never
humiliates
or
belittles
-it is not a want-led
force
rampaging and unchecked
"You're like a roller coaster. And I want off."
His words still linger in the back of my mind, the way his hands used to linger at the bottom of my spine. Unwelcome, yet so intoxicating. Uninvited, yet so addicting.
The laugh, the voice
My mind can't place it
So familiar, yet so far away
Two strangers lie intertwined
Bodies bare and warm
Like a small pool of summer amidst the winter storm
Carefree and open...
With the light shining on my face,
You told me I look full of grace.
When I flared my nose while I was upset with you,
You told me it was me you wanted to pursue.
When I cried about something so small,
3:34pm
(01/08/2020)
i hate that ive been missing you so often.
it’s like a feeling i can’t shake,
you remind of so many things that i want to forget,
What if I
Told you that
You didn't matter?
How would you
Feel then? You
Have told me
Time and time
Sickened
I find myself
Unsettled
By who
I swore
I would never become
She would never
Hurt me
Not like that
I tell them
Bruises
Internal
Traversing the brim of ill determination
stuck walking in eternal night
Existing only in those rusted hallows
purely pursued out of spite
When she came to me
I tried to warn her
Despite the danger
I know I pose
I drew her in anyway
A carnivorous flower
So intriguing
So pretty to look at
You draw near it
How messed up is it that we live in a world
Where blue is for boys and pink is for girls
Where it’s better for men to have a gun than a doll
You fucked up
You know that you did
We'll ruin you for it
Shit, we already did
We want nothing to do with you
Nothing, we're through with you
I don't want to find love.
I just want to be free.
I only care about the people who believe in me.
It's hard to find a truelove out there.
Sometimes, it just ain't there.
i thought i did something that made you mad
made you hate the way i blink
or hate the way i shiver when it’s cold outside
i thought i did something that just
I wish you would just hit me
But you got inside my bones
and split me from the inside.
I hate that I’m that girl
who writes poetry about a boy
to feel human again.
But you’re not a boy,
your touch it lingersit lingers on my skinyou were so warm I never wanted to give inas tears fall from my eyes now I can finally seeit was never you it was meI want to see youI want to feel
***Trigger Warning***
“Boys will be boys”
“Let bygones be bygones”
“Forget about it”
“Get over it.”
I’ll use my broken bones as a splint
My black eyes will start my eye shadow
You can’t keep me away with the danger of bloody noses
Violence won’t wash away la vie en rose
I put the bottles to my lips hoping to drown myself from the sadness.
Never realizing how toxic these bottles really are for me.
Drowning myself from the toxicity of you.
You told me I was your little pearl.
Glimmering and white,
Pure and loved,
A beauty to beat the rising sun.
I was naïve and innocent,
It is bittersweet.
I miss taking you to eat
and I miss rubbing on your feet.
I miss having someone to trust
and to be vulnerable with and to lust
after..
You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
Calm overwhelms me
Breaking and splintering the anger and painThe words you spoke to me may heal with time But scars take far longer to fade
I stand tall
You taught me to be silent
You stole my voice
You told me to be small
You stole my strength
You pushed me down
You stole the ground from underneath my feet
But today I stand back up
Our lives
are inexplicably connected
and I hate that
Every corner
I attempt to turn
your face
lingers, leering
with kindness and hesitation
I scrub myself
A conversation between two people about a boy she’ll never know:
what is it that you like about him?
like the one key detail that separates
him from the rest
I needed you like I needed a cigarette. Like tar to my lungs, you poisoned my life. I was only 17 and thought, "This is what love is"...
It was more like drowning.
i gave you everything and it still wasn't enough.
you made me feel like i was nothing.
made me believe that i was difficult to love.
and like a fool i kept trying,
You asked me to be honest
So I told you I was fine
Because I know
That's what you wanted to hear
Time has moved forward since then
I no longer fear your hands
Even if they never
You don’t know how you plucked my heart like a rose and it skipped a beat as you
whispered the sweetness of sonnets.
I first recognised it as an infant, becoming accustomed to this trait.
Sporadic bursts of love and laughter were sure signs
this was meant to be.
Then monumental loss replaced it with a scourge of darkness
My mentor, my dear mentor,
How terrible you have been to me,
And yet I must thank you.
Four months ago
From the beginning you were mine
I was yours
It was perfect
We were perfect
You were perfect
::Build me a home of stone and dustLight up the fire with roses and lust//Lay me a bed of feathers and cloudsSing me a song of the torn and the vowed//Show me dissenters with rocks in their slings
I want to love you with all my heart,
But I can’t.
I want to give you everything,
But I can’t.
I want to care for you,
And take away your pain,
I’m so scared
I’mscaredI’mscaredI’mscaredI’mscared
I don’t know
What to do
How to act
What to say
I’m so scared
you ignited
an uncouth flame
a knife to sharpen
and a thing to blame
but forever we were
My body has been burned
Scorched and used
From the times my feathers were ripped from my body
In a pillow fight I will never win.
My bones are fragile
I want to forget the way your words became teeth,
Sharp, gnashing, unforgiving.
You talk ‘pretty’ now.
Your canines ground down and polished,
Last semester
I entered another scholarship contest-Because I Love You
A slam against toxic teenage relationships
Writing that poem made me realize that I didn't know what healthy love looks like.
for so long you've been sinking
belly full of stones
i press my lips to yours
with the notion
that breathing outward might send you upward
but somehow
accidentally
i breathe in
Dear Mommy,
Let me start off with the fact that I love you
And that I really appreciate everything you have ever done for me
But you are not without your faults
In fact, you have quite a bit of them
to you, who loved me without love:
it has been so long.
three years ago
You were everything.
had not
touched me yet
Dear My Beloved Copy,
I cannot recall the day that you came into my life that well anymore
(I guess I am a bad mother)
But I can remember is the complete euphoria of cracking your spine for the first time
Dear Untouchable,
Proven divine, your soul glows like gold
under glistening sunlight; its own halo that just doesn’t
happen to gleam right.
To my ex-best friend
That tells everyone she doesn’t know what she did wrong;
You built your confidence by standing on top of me,
Knowing that I wasn’t strong --
Dear Past and Present,
I write this letter in hopes that you will never write me one.
You braided my hair when I was in the seventh grade.
To you,
You know who you are,
so dare I write your name? Dare I continue writing?
I dare because that is what you taught me to do.
“Dream on, dream big, never be subpar,”
bend the bruises
mend the stains,
go ahead and break the chains,
wait outside the wrong track door,
hear the voices, not good for
anymore.
break the bones,
like all souls show,
Jordan,
Because they were rough, and calloused
The worn fingers that laced with mine matched the temperament of their owner
The hands of a hard man
2017bled out in color for me, a thousanddifferent shades tempered by jealousy andreminding me that indeed they wereghostsof somebody I used to know that Ididn't anymore and I didn't
And when you left I thought
You had taken
Everything
From me.
Covered in a fury of flames,And subsequent smoke,I called for some water to quench myparched self.So you,My beautiful,Last signal flare,guided me to your outstretched arms.You became my oceanOf loveAnd shallow devotion.I grasped for your hand,Sear
Hello.
Please, don't get your hopes up.
This is NOT a love letter.
This is a letter to say goodbye.
Goodbye to the days of whimpering with fear,
everytime you stepped near.
I want to cry
Screw up my eyes and bawl
Scream into a void about the unfairness of it all
But the tears refuse.
They won’t come to my eyes.
Won’t allow me release from the torture you brought me
Ill use the love letters you wrote me to fuel the fire I light to destroy this paper house I have been living in.
I care, and Why
by Henry Rude
You text me all day.
What is going on right now?
I would like to know.
He says "I love you"
Beats and bruises, scars and slaps
It consumes you and becomes what you are now.
Love is when you hold me dearly to your chest.
(You’d do so if you loved me as much as I do you).
Black eyes, bruised skin
Just because I love you, doesn't mean I'll let you in.
Love with you is fist fights, broken glass.
Harsh words that cut the skin, broken plates littering the floor
That's not what love is.
I felt alone, I felt betrayed
I didn't leave because I was afraid
When I asked for a good reason to stay,
He said, "Because I love you."
I watched and every day I tried
To forgive him, but I still cried
It's a crowded room, but all I
see is summer rain on cobblestones, and through
a rain-stained lens, something points my vision
to you.
Like the headlights of two cars
behind red lights at a midnight
Are you willing to wait for me?
I don’t know if it’s right to abuse you like this
This is my fault
Retching at pictures at everything you do the moment we kiss
It's crazy what i did for love
You put me in a box that kept getting smaller.
and smaller.
and smaller.
Instead of breaking out, I curled up and made myself smaller.
and smaller.
and smaller.
“I do it because I love you,”
He will say when he goes through your things.
“It’s not because I don’t trust you,”
He will tell you, but he enjoys the fights that his actions bring.
“goodbyes”
from a list of messages never sent.
You told me it was unfair
For me to get up and walk away
But did you not see
Pen to Paper
My words are lost
Like endless black oceans.
I have no words for you,
I'm tired of these useless notions.
I held you on a pedestal
And watched it crumble.
As the evil seeped through
Really, I’m not sure what exactly I was expecting, looking for answers in your fragmented breaths. I’ve spent much more time than I’m proud of trying to look at you through a rearview mirror instead of a foggy window.
She knew that loving him would be disastrous, but she was already a disaster. She knew that by holding onto his hand meant that she could be left all alone, reaching out for a hand that was never meant to touch hers.
I fell in love with his tragedy the way summer comes
The retreat of the sun only breeding vulnerability
coercing me, importuning me,
to surmise my sole worth in this wretched world was to be enough for him
Over the course of time
I’ve caught a couple knives in the back
From a couple friends
I thought it was kinda weird how they thought
It would feel good
