mental disorder
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one) a boy who speaks with a thick accent. always gets up in the middle of group sessions to ‘use the bathroom’.
Dear Ana,
I know,
I know I failed,
I know I should have done better.
I know, I know, I know.
I’ll find you one day, I promise.
I almost had you, but I let go.
I let them take you away from me.
For a very long time I looked down on myself
for pursuing my dreams instead of the wealth
My brother, an engineer
My sister, a nurse
And I...
I am...
not the lawyer you wanted to see
I feel my heart is racing
my mind is constantly chasing
yet here I am just spacing
desperately embracing
rapidly effacing
i'm falling and displacing
The room reeked of the smell
Of my parent’s disownment,
Once again
I was back in crazy town.
They didn’t understand
Have I ever wished
to dive into a ravine?
I would have said no.
I'm forced to say yes.
What were once my sweetest dreams
crash upon the rocks.
Drain the mania;
You would never know walking past me.
You would never suspect talking to me.
You would never know that my laughter keeps me from screaming
Has vanished without a
trace, leaving me barren.
Mayhaps it found a better place,
Somebody who wants it.
I
Pastel pieces of paper littering the floor
Notes, lists, worries, and more
It’s called OCD and I couldn’t find rest
In therapy, workshops, books, or meds
Poetry provided the outlet I need
For the record,
I am myself.
Even in the dark
with no mirrors, no clues,
I am myself.
I am not the feeling
It has conditioned me to fear
To fear everything life has to offer
To see the bad side of every situation
To doubt even the simplest acts of kindness
This monster has created a shell of a person
Please, don't touch me.
But, please, hug me.
Please, make sure everything is in order.
But, please, let me do it.
Please, don't make eye contact with me.
But, please, tell me my blue eyes are pretty.
When it comes to struggling
we know nothing. we are dumb.
Some are silent. Some are screamed,
but it is rarely what it seems.
While a child starves at home
another starves alone, A victim of the numbers.
I feel like I am drowning,
Though no water is present,
But the feeling of this darkness crushing me
Is not very pleasant.
The cold and the confusion.
The overlooked and the overdoses.
The solemn and the silence.
The fatigued and the forgotten.
This is the only world I know.
And then it all began again
Her mind changing, slipping,
slipping into the dark abyss that is depression
Her thoughts became darker
The world became greyer
Darkness.
In my mind, in the words I speak, in the emotions I feel, in the world I see.
Just darkness.
Drowning in my own thoughts.
Would I be missed if I went through with it.
A strand of hair
derived from my scalp
is detected by my two brown eyes,
the color a reflection of both.
My vision blurs
as a sea of unwanted memories
The 21st century- a time of technology and innovation
But what good is this with unhappy people around the nation?
Body image and mind are sparesely accepted
Nobody wants to feel rejected
"Homosexuality is a sin!"
Everytime I look at you,
my feelings always differ.
Whenever I see you, and I feel happy,
it puts a smile on my face.
Whenever I see you, and I get upset,
the entire world is out to get me.
Malicious malignant
Cancer of the soul,
It spreads its dark
and brooding mass
Slowly eating away
Sinks roots
Dark tendrils
Deep into unseen
depths
Slowly feeding on life force
It strikes midnight, and I’m home alone
My parents have yet to return from work
Paranoia kicks in, and as I turn to stone
I hear a voice and slow footsteps lurk
