I've had excellent teachers in my time.

Some with good looks

Some with easy tests

Some with interesting lectures.

But you, you're different.

I should have looked you up online to see how you were.

But no!

I was naive, foolish!

You're bad, and you should feel bad.

Your tests were hard.

They're worded nothing like the examples in the book!

How are these even graded, anyhow?

Your red markings don't even make sense.

You're bad, and you should feel bad.

Your lectures were bland.

You stammer and stutter through your own notes.

I asked you to explain this differently, not tell it to me again the same way!

I learn more from the textbook than your notes.

I can't even pay attention.

You're bad, and you should feel bad.

You yourself are not that interesting.

You're not hot.  Not even remotely attractive.

You're trying to make jokes, but it's not really working.

Are you not excited to teach us new material?

You're bad, and you should feel bad.

Please, do yourself a favour, for all of us.

Take our advice at the end of the semester.

If students are failing, figure out what's wrong.

It might not be us; it might be you.

Improve on yourself so you can improve on us.

And maybe you won't be bad

And you can feel good.