You were wrong

 

I held you close at night,

buried  my nose in your hair,

listened to your laugh

  how it left the taste of champagne in my mouth.

 

I would keep your makeup stains and spilled perfume,

wanting to collect every piece of you.

I loved you for all you showed,

what I felt between us was all I ever wanted to know.

 

You pressed me into your heart,

but you pressed me too hard

and I became a part of you.

I was absorbed into your skin,

taken from what I had once been.

 

I was afraid of being alone again,

and it acted as wool pulled over my eyes.

I didn't realize how painful wrong can be

I thought that this was normal.

 

I was a flame and you were water

your lovely lies dragged and pulled me under

I couldn’t breathe,

I didn’t think to scream.

I thought this was how love is supposed to be.

 

It took me too long to leave you,

It probably took you too long to notice I was gone.

Since you were never there in the first place.

 

Your lies, your power,

your smile, your anger like thunder.

Sometimes I want to crawl back to you,

push my way through the earthen of our grave

and try to recreate the good memories we once made.

 

It took me too long to realize we had fallen apart.

That there was no hope left.

Too hard to realize we were doomed from the start.

The only thing I could do was save myself.

 

It took me too long to realize it wasn’t all my fault,

that blame is a two way street

where you ran me over.

I don’t have to say I’m sorry anymore.

 

It took me the warm hands of someone else.

A warm and lazy smile, 

not hiding anything behind her lips. 

Teeth sharpened by lies no longer cut me when we kiss.

 

Soft hands encircle mine at night,

gripping me like if I’ll leave if she doesn’t hold on tight.

 

Her warm breath tickling my ear,

accepting my faults and pain,

kissing away the all of the tears streaking down my cheeks,

rather then letting them fall silently to the floor.

Letting them be ignored.

 

It took her for me to realize what “healthy” means. 

To see the abuse, the years of lies and hatred 

That pain isn’t a normal occurrence.

That I could escape this.

That I don't deserve this.

 

I deserve love, and laughter,

I don’t need any more scars,

I will not be forgotten in the shadows of others.

 

I will not be belittled, 

I will not be guilted or pressured into being someone else.

I will be honest and open about loving myself.

 

So the three little words that you used so much

Will no longer be weapons, but gifts to the hearts I touch.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741