i’m still bitter about it

but i think i’ll always be bitter about it

but just because i’m bitter

doesn’t mean i miss it

miss YOU

 

i suppose i’ll always be upset

that YOU moved on so easily

but i don’t miss YOU 

 

i supposed the bitterness isn’t for YOU

but for ME

because i guess deep down

i still blame myself

for not being enough

 

and it must inflate your ego

to see me writing about YOU

but i think YOU misunderstand

 

i’m not writing about YOU

for YOU

because of YOU

 

i’m writing about YOU

for ME

because of ME

 

i don’t miss YOU

but i think i'll always be angry with YOU

for becoming a new person

for being sucked into pop culture

for leaving ME

 

the depression will always sit

at the bottom of my heart

a cauldron boiling

and spewing feelings of doubt

 

maybe it was ME

that caused YOU to change

maybe it was ME

that caused YOU to modernize

maybe it was ME

that caused YOU to leave

 

i suppose i just have to remember

remember that YOU never took that step

that step to mend what was cracked

now it's all shattered

the mosaic of our memories together

scattered all over the dry weeds

of our once luscious field of joy

 

there is a fountain

overflowing with stories

about YOU & ME

stories i can never tell

because YOU wouldn’t want ME to

 

i've omitted your name

from the stories i've told

"a friend" i say

though YOU really aren't anymore

 

i wonder if YOU

tell stories about ME

to them

 

we were so entwined

in each other's lives

i used to think

the red string of fate

connected us

 

i suppose i was wrong

 

YOU have them now

and i

have ME

 

when we meet

there are no smiles

i sometimes catch your eye

and we stare at one another

just for a 

second

i turn away first

because i don't want YOU

to think i'm seeking YOU out

 

i'm not

but i guess life has a way

of trying to pull people

back together

 

YOU actively fight it

and ME

i'm still bitter about it