We’ve been told all our lives to work hard;

make good grades.

Staying up till 12 and 3 in the morning,

but when will it pay!

Off!

 

Homework, essays, projects keep a high GPA!

Sleepless nights, skipping breakfast, Focus! Focus! Focus!

When will we see the day

when a letter in the mail tells us

that our life story is worth it.

All we get is a slap in the face,

in the form or an apologetic letter that says we do not deserve it.

 

I poured my heart into the Gates Millenium Scholarship.

I told them my deepest feelings!

Things I’ve never spoken into the atmosphere.

I felt like my story,my pain, my suffering,my fear,

would finally have a silver lining.

That it would finally raise emotion in someones ear.

 

Filling out scholarship day after day,

praying for a way to pay for college.

Hopefully I will find a way.

They always ask,

“why do you deserve this scholarship,”

“tell us about your self,” and

“tell us your story.”

I always do and I am always genuine.

However, they always place me in that “almost” category.

 

It is never good enough

 

Patiently waiting I finally received a letter from GMS.

My mother is exited, I’m trying to stay humble because I know I’m blessed.

She’s a super woman you know.

 

She’s almost 50 years old, about to graduate college for the first time,

paying 2 mortgages, working a minimum wage job,

dealing with an ex husband that does not pay child support,

taking care of my elderly grandmother,

and she still finds a way to manage.

In my eyes, there is no other woman of her kind.

“You were an outstanding participant,

but we are sorry to say that we could not

award you with this scholarship.

This does not put a damper on your accomplishments.”

 

All I saw was” We are sorry but your life was not

bad enough or good enough to get this money.”

 

Why do you get to decide whether I am good enough?

 

Why do you get to decide whether my struggles are worth it?

 

Why do you get to decide whether my goals and my future is obtainable?

 

Why do you get to decided whether

my struggles continue or end?

 

Why do you get to decide whether I

succeed or not?

 

I guess it is because you have the money.

 

You have your own struggles.

Yes!

But its not about paying for college like me;

its about which dreamer to give chance to,

they are college debt free

Celebrating with them and then forgetting about the

other dreamers,

still struggling,

less fortunate

still dreaming

people like me.