You will never realize how much he ruined you

When you start talking to someone new; it will hit you 

You will not realize until someone tries to do something he did 

You will always think about missing him being there

You will think of the way he calmed you and the way his touch lingered

You do not realize how much you fucking ache for familiarity

for the way you were comfortable

for the way it was normal to just love him

You do not realize how you look for that in everyone

It keeps you up at night 

You do not realize until someone else comes and you want them to stay

The worst part is you are not over him

He tore you up and you are afraid of getting torn up again. 

The idea of loving someone the way you loved him makes you sick

Makes you sick because you never thought you would have to find someone new anyway