A Year Without Him

The first month will be the easiest because you’ll hate him, you’ll be too angry and hurt to realize you’re starting to miss him

The second month will be harder you’ll text him but he won’t respond and he’ll text you but you’ll ignore him right back.. you’ll cry twice

The third month will finally be the one where u admit to others that it is over, your friends will take your side but your best friends will not say a word because they know that you still love him

The fourth month will be the longest, dates you had planned together will pass by, someone will call to say they saw him out, you didn’t know he was back in town. You won’t tell anyone how much you really miss him

Month five will pass quickly because you’ll dive into work, you’ll find new projects but every time you take that drive you’ll remember how he held your hand as his eyes watched the road, you’ll cry to sleep once.

The sixth month will be tough holidays are passing and you’ll remember those gifts you wanted to give him you’ll search for those letters the ones he wrote to you and you’ll read them until you cry, so you drown his words with a bottle of whiskey or maybe two

Month seven is close to the worst you’ll finally text him or maybe you’ll call him because you’re at your darkest he’ll be nice…at first…. but then he won’t even respond he’ll simply say “it’s just the way that I am” you’ll blame yourself.

Month eight. His birthday is around the corner but you’ll miss it because on month 4 you planned a day out with the girls, you won’t remember it for another 3 days then you’ll hate yourself for forgetting! So you’ll finally tell someone that you miss him……maybe just a little

Month nine is easier you won’t think of him as much you still can’t hear or even say his name but he doesn’t haunt your dreams not anymore, you’ll visit your favorite places you’ll go to that coffee shop without thinking or even missing him, you’ll finally delete his voice mails from month two.

The tenth month you’ll start to recall conversations with him you’ll have flashbacks when you least expect it, it won’t really hurt but you’ll start to miss someone, you’ll start to miss the idea of him, his arms, his warmth, his love

The eleventh  month you’ll finally put away the stuff he left behind his pictures his letters his hat and maybe even his sweater, you’ll put it in a shoe box without a label and stick it under the bed you’ll say you’re getting over him, but the truth is…

The twelfth month will be the most difficult it will be rounding up on one year. The last kisses, the last touch, the last talks, the fights. It will hit the hardest. You will begin to miss him rather than the idea of him. You will hate love and miss all at once. You know he’s met someone new while you haven’t even moved one but there is a secret…

Month 13 will be something new, you’ll have plans with friends rather that with him, new movies will come out, construction will take over the roads to work and school so you’ll find news ones, ones he never drove with you. You’ll travel. It will get better, even if it takes some time, even if you still remember his favorite color is orange, you’ll slowly forget, not all of it, but most. He’ll be nothing but a memory.

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