The Words of a Faggot

                                      The Words of a Faggot

Imagine a boy

 

Now imagine him tall and stocky

Just a little bit cocky

Think of him in a letterman jacket

Smoking blunts and sniffing a  packet

 

He’s a prick

Who talks about his big dick

Tells his boys he’s massive

7.5 even when flaccid

 

A fool

A tool

Sometimes described as cruel

Otherwise a jewel

 

Has a girl named Jasmine

Always got her poor head dancin’

Never stops playing them games

Always throwing around the blames

 

Imagine him scoring baskets

Breaking through the score brackets

But that’s all he can say

Because the rest of him is gay

We hide

Never able to confide

We’re stereotyped

Our love being overhyped

 

We yell

But never tell

We cry and die

But no one bats an eye

 

“Abomination!”

They say in rotation

“This must be a dream

Nothing is what it may seem.”

 

We’re living up to the “social scene”

They don’t know that most of us scream

We’re awake at night

Thinking of giving up the fight

 

Feeling afraid and alone

Never picking up the phone

Mistrust blooms

As we breathe in the negative fumes

 

We’re desperate to feel better

Then blame it on the weather

Act like we’re playing poker

And we’re the Joker

 

Joking

Choking

We hide behind the tears of a clown

But underneath we have a frown

 

Stand at the bathroom sink

Trying not to think

Finding something extra sharp

Get a towel or maybe a tarp

 

Poking and prodding

Cutting then bleeding

We die

But who is seeing?

 

They say it’s our choice what we tell

But when do we get to stand up and yell?

With a voice

But there’s only white noise

 

Who’d want to be shunned?

Afraid to walk then be gunned

We’re the ones in a jam

Too afraid to tell the fam

 

We fight our nature

Desperately trying to sedate her

Our mother—

Our significant other

 

Not in a romantic sense

But more in the loving tense

That is…

Till’ we say “my heart is his”

 

She’ll say, “I won’t stoop to his level

The Devil

He’s making my soul tremble

He wants to break it so it won’t assemble”

 

“My boy is gone

Now he’s dating Tom

I tried to read him Psalms

While staring at his bleeding palms.”

 

We lie and lie

Desperate to try

Praying to the sky

But always seeing her cry

 

We have to keep her safe

Keep our feelings locked away in a safe

We scratch and chafe

Cut then lick the blood for taste

 

Drink then chase

Drink then chase

Pick up the pace

Do it with a brave face

 

Be the boy who gets smacked by a honey

Then laugh with boys cause’ its mad funny

We have to smile

Then take out the sharp nail file

 

Don’t you see?

They say we’re free

But we’re nothing mice

Trapped in the minds of men

 

We said we were gay when we were ten

But forgot that’s a problem

“I’ll beat the gay out of you!”

But we knew what was true

 

We had to pity Billy the fool

Sitting on a stool

With a DUNCE hat

That people laughed at

 

Everyone thought Billy-the-Bitch

Who plays ding-dong-ditch

Is cool for beating up the gay kid:

The faggot who’s a fool

 

But who knew

That us faggots could cry too

We tie cinder blocks to our ankles

To drown and be released from our manacles

 

The shackles that strangled

We think of the times we were mangled

Wanting to live

But praying to die

 

No more lies

We stare at the sky

Asking “God, oh, God

Why, oh, why?”

 

We search for a light

Something to ease the fight

But end up in a tunnel

Engulfed by a black funnel

 

Salty are our tears

Bitter like our fears

The water chokes us

But we keep our hopes up

 

That maybe in the next life

After all the chaos and strife

God will hold us

Soften our cries and end the fuss

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world

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